TheMommyBlog

Saturday, April 10, 2004 Family

We just returned from the doctor, who declared me strep-free, but something-else-full. Pharyngitis of idiopathic origin. AKA who-knows-wtf-it-is-so-here’s-some-antibiotics-just-in-case.

While we were there, the nurse asked if Dylan and Daphne were twins. *sigh* “No, they’re just really close in age. Eighteen months.” “We spaced the birth control.” “We’re Irish Catholics.” Actually the last two statements, while true, were uttered on the inside.

The doctor made up for it, though, when he expressed surprise that there was a third child at home, a six-year-old. “Wow, you must have started young!” “No, I’m 35. I was 29 when I had my first.” “Oh. That’s right. [peers closely] You could have fooled me. I would have guessed mid-20’s.”

And he wasn’t even trying to sell me something. I grinned.

So now we’re home while Gil and Logan are at t-ball. I just don’t feel up to going over there. Besides, I can put the kids in the living room at their little table with juice, yogurt and goldfish crackers to watch Dora, something that would never happen on Gil’s watch. He’d freak if he could see them in there, unsupervised with cultured edibles. Heh. Makes it twice the fun, in my opinion.

(OK, OK, I put a splat mat down; I’m not a total idiot. And if you haven’t discovered the Land of Nod yet, go there now. It’s fabul-great, as Jilbur would say.)

Oh, love this: Dylan just walked in with his empty goldfish bowl to complain that they tasted yucky. “I see you managed to eat them all, though.” “But they tasted yucky because they had germs on them.” “Hmmm. What did these germs look like?” “Rug.” “Well, no wonder.”

Saturday, April 10, 2004 Me, Me, Me

Now, I have something very shocking to tell you, and I know it’s something that none of you anticipated; I was blown away myself when I learned of it:

As soon as my project was completed, I got sick.

Whahuafuaaa? What are the odds? I mean, I was getting at least 4-5 hours of sleep a night, in 18-minute chunks, and was eating frequent meals—M&Ms for protein and mini-Milky Ways for calcium—and taking lots of (blogging) breaks.

I was exercising my heart vigorously, I mean what else are deadlines for, right? And I got plenty of fresh air each time I rolled down my window at the drive-thru. What could go wrong?

First, within two days of turning in that report, our house was ravaged by the stomach flu. Which doesn’t really need to be revisited here.

Then all week, a strange, low-level bug with aches and hmmm… what’s that term? It’s so apt… ah, yes: total freaking ragginess.

And now, I am fairly certain I have strep throat. Thirty seconds with my trusty compact mirror and a light revealed pretty little spots at the back of my throat, the icing on the two-ton lymph glands taking up residence under my chin. All kidding aside, I could just let my neck go limp and have a nap; they’ll hold my head right up.

I have concluded from this puzzling sequence of events that changes to how future projects are assigned and completed will be necessary. For instance, if the timeline is such that I have to spend my well-earned respite going for tests and feeling generally miserable, the least my bosses can do is carry these glands around themselves. I’d be more than happy to help find a place to store them.

Friday, April 09, 2004 Me, Me, Me

I’m going home now, as I have once again found myself in the ridiculous position of being the only person left in the department and quite possibly the building on a Friday before a holiday.

Why bother to tell you that? Well, because I just noticed that by the time I check in again, TMB will have passed 30,000 hits! And why bother to tell you that? Because it’s my flippin’ blog.

‘Night, lovies, and have a wonderful weekend!

Friday, April 09, 2004 Family

Our kids are adding to their vocabularies every day through the wonders of Disney. Sleeping Beauty brought us “You pompous windbag!” and “love’s first kiss” (muttered for a while there after each kiss from Mommy).

Hercules has taught them things they don’t even understand. I once overheard Logan pretending to be trapped under a couch cushion and shouting, “Call IXII!” I was five minutes into an explanation of the Roman numeral system before I noticed his glazed expression (or as we say in Silicon Valley, “screen saver face.”) and finally dropped the subject.

The Little Mermaid has given us wonderful, French-accented exclamations. That chef… he’s such a nut. A violent nut, but still. He appeals.

Logan: [curled up on couch with tummy ache and fever]
Gil: “Buddy? Would you like me to bring dinner in here so you can stay comfortable and keep watching your movie?”
Logan: “Oui.”
Gil: [pause] “Did you just say, ‘Oui?’”
Logan: “It’s a dumb word.”

Thursday, April 08, 2004 Family

In between naps tonight (did you think I did anything so quaint as “sleep?”), I extricated myself from between my two youngest and went in search of less close quarters. I wandered into the hall and paused, trying to remember who was where and listening for restless children.

Satisfied, I opened the door to my room, and was surprised to see a bedside lamp on. I started to ask Gil if he was reading, when I suddenly realized that there was no one in the bed. The five of us were distributed between the three children’s beds, and the roomiest bed in the house, a luxurious Eastern king, went begging.

And it looked strangely smug.