TheMommyBlog

Monday, February 08, 2010 Our Holiday Curse, Bad Mood Dude, Family

The goddamn fucking gate has been off the fence all this time and someone just stole my gas BBQ. It was here before I left for mom’s birthday dinner last night.

All I needed was to get the stupid thing back on the post. People offered to help but I didn’t stand there with a whip and it didn’t happen. I literally cannot lift it myself. And now the 16-foot storage POD will be here within the hour, along with Dylan and Daphne, who are sick. My ex is bringing them here so he can have phone calls.

And one of my children just received one of the worst behavior reports ever and I HAD NO IDEA. Why did no one talk with us about this before sending it home, so we could fix it?

It’s just raining kittens and ice cream here.

At least I will have time to myself to finish clearing out personal stuff so the Realtor can show the place ASAP. The kids will spending their winter break in Tahoe with their father and my parents this Saturday through Wednesday, so I got that going for me, which is nice.

Sunday, February 07, 2010 Family

I flew all the way back from Nashville at midnight on Friday so that I could see Daphne in Alice In Wonderland this weekend. She was just cute as a bug.

The Duchess: Be what you would seem to be—or, if you’d like it put more simply—Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.

Alice: I think I should understand that better, if I had it written down: but I can’t quite follow it as you say it.

Saturday, February 06, 2010 Family

Just returned from NashVegas last night where I spoke at the Blissdom ‘10 conference at the Grand Ole Opry.

First, let me just say that that is seriously the most terrifyingly massive hotel property I have ever been in that didn’t have slot machines lining the halls. There’s one entrance that I knew of, and several pavilions to walk through whenever you had to get from your room to the conference to lunch to your room to drop stuff off and back to the conference. Several of these pavilions were rain forests, some were carnivals, some were massive band shells, and I am pretty sure they each had their own ecosystem, complete with different dialects spoken by the people who sold sequinwear in shops spread throughout the place. I actually bought a pair of jeans while I was there. I’d played a game with myself: if I found something in my size that wasn’t downright unwearable AND didn’t have a single sequin or crystal on it, I would buy it and wear it RIGHT THEN. Badabing.

My favorite part had to be arriving at midnight and not knowing how to check in. I was sharing with a roommate who had arrived before me and would leave after I left. So when I announced myself as Melinda Roberts, I got a few taps on the keyboard and then a blank stare.

“Um, try under ‘Mindy Roberts?’”

TypityTypityTypity. “No Ma’am.”

“Oh, God this is so embarrassing. I don’t remember my roommates name. I could give you her twitter name, though.”

Polite stare.

“MooshinIndy ring a bell?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Well. I’m speaking at the Blissdom Conference here, does that help? Look, I’m sorry, it’s late and I don’t have the name, but we can call Cassie Boom who organized this and see if she can…”

She had walked off to look something up in the back room, or maybe to get a beer and a chair. I could be telling this story for a while.

When she came back, I was ready to say, “I’ll room with whoever else is with the conference. I only need to sleep a few hours and then I’m leaving for the airport in the afternoon. Look, has anyone called down for a girl? Heh. Kidding. But has anyone?”

“I’ve got you right here, under Mindy.”

“Ah, yes, that’s me, I didn’t mean to confuse things with a last name.” WHATEVER.

You’d think that would solve things, but no. It didn’t. She handed me a map of the premises that looked just like an amusement park map. Each parcel of acreage was a different bright color, with landmarks, elevators and regional embassies marked in pale brown type. I was having a seizure just looking at it.

“You’re going to want to walk right through those doors.” I looked up and wondered if there was an inscription along the lines of abandoning hope. “Then you’ll want to stay to your left, not the middle, your left, and right here are some elevators.” I couldn’t tell if they were a halfway point or the ones I was to use but I didn’t want to overthink this.

“Thank you so much, I can’t wait to get there. Now, is there anywhere you’d recommend to get a bite and a drink? No? Everything is closed? EVERYTHING? AREN’T WE AT THE OPRYLAND HOTEL? Oh, your room service is good. Okay.” Good grief.

People, I am not making this up. I was so stunned by the first biodome that I stood there clicking poorly-lit photos with my camera, partially so I could digest it later, and partially in case I needed to show it to a guide on my way home. Along the way I passed several open-air bars and restaurant gazebos that were closed—CLOSED—and soon found myself next to a bank of elevators. From there it was 2.3 KM due east to my room.

I got in and punched the fourth floor. When the doors opened, all I saw were rooms. Nothing that looked like a hall that stretched 2.3 KM. So I hit Lobby and went back down. Where there was sort of a dead end. So I hit four again and looked both ways. Huh. I went ALL THE WAY DOWN and ALL THE WAY BACK AGAIN before deciding to forage for a trail. As it happened, there was a hall that stretched waaaaay beyond 2.3 KM, and my room was about 1.5 KM past the first bend. By that time I was dropping my bags, tearing at my shirt and calling “CAAASSSEYYYY!” like a demented Marlon Brando. Oh, did I mention I tried to get into someone else’s room on the wrong wing? I did. I tried the card key eight or nine times before realizing that I was in The C wing, not the G wing. Sorry, dude. You can go back to sleep now.

Imagine my despair when I collapsed on the bed and realized my roomie was NOT THERE. Auuugggh. Casey, Casey, I found out your name, hacked my way through the forests and trudged the carpeted plains to find you and you weren’t there. Waaaaahh.

An hour later, she was back and my room service dinner - a Caesar salad and wine, $65, and a steal at that - was there too, so we talked and giggled and had pillow fights until past three a.m. At least that’s what I told my boyfriend who was a little inconvenienced that I’d taken so long to check in. Ahhh, give him a little something to think about. He likes redheads, and she thought it was funny. I love funny Mormons. Though she did get me good when I dressed in my red suit and skirt and she said, “Hey, you look like you’re headed to the Tea Party Convention!”

Biiiitch.

I did wear the suit for the morning, but the Tea party was literally next door to Blissdom and the TV cameras and people’s heads kept swiveling my way whenever I tottered by in my Mrs. Wiggins heels and tight skirt. I chose poorly. Hence, the gamble that I would find something that would allow me to blend before my afternoon session.

Thank you to everyone who made me feel so welcome (and Heather Sokol! We met after six years at last!) and to the organizers. It was a truly spectacular conference. And I don’t meant that it was dazzling, I mean that everyone was friendly, and open, and there was a complete lack of elitism and competition wherever I turned. Everyone was friendly and wanted to talk and to listen. No one would let me sit alone. The Cover Girl folks grabbed their chairs and scooted way over to make another space for me at their table rather then let me eat at an empty table. I was amazed.

It was exactly what our conferences used to be, and ought to be. It was Bliss. I loved meeting all of you.

Oh, and in case you were wondering why I’m bummed out, this was on my lawn this morning.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010 Bad Mood Dude, Family

I’ve just been on the phone for an hour with Anthem. Six months ago, I applied for a policy with a request for HIPAA coverage if they denied my application (I knew they would, and they did). I waited for the notice that I’d been accepted under HIPAA. I knew it would take a few months. This has happened before.

Backstory: twice now, the company that carried my COBRA went out of business, taking my coverage with it. Instantaneously stripped of health insurance coverage.

Single mom of three, sole support.

I checked in periodically until last week when I finally got someone to admit that they had made a mistake. You see, they insisted that I had not checked the box for HIPAA, but I had. They finally admitted the mistake, awarded me coverage backdated six months to the last date of COBRA, and then promptly demanded that I pay all six months of premiums in 30 days or risk cancellation of the policy that had been awarded not ten minutes earlier.

“We’re sorry, we made a mistake, we’re correcting it, and you owe us $3,014.00 in thirty days. Or we’ll cancel the policy we should have awarded you months ago.”

Irony: my monthly medical expenses have averaged roughly the same as my monthly premium. I would MUCH rather have been paying Anthem directly.

So I went on a campaign. For the first twenty minutes they insisted that I pay all six months or suffer consequences.

So I went over heads. One supervisor later, they’d agreed to allow a partial payment of two months, about $1,000.00.

Two supervisors later, I’d gotten them down to one month, or $504.00. BUT! I must pay the remaining five months in the next billing cycle, which I assume will have one more premium accrued, so—wait for it— I’ll be facing that 6-month bill again for $3.014.00.

Christ in a breakfast nook holding a bagel in one hand and a newspaper in the other.

I had to get aggressive to get them to admit they were at fault, and then was shut out. I tried to go to legal, they would not allow it. A supervisor said, “This is not for Legal, this is our fault.” That is why they made an exception and allowed me to pay just one month within 30 days.

And they will not provide a way to expedite reimbursements for pharmacy and medical office charges. She’s sending me an email with a claims form.

God Bless America.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010 Family, Momversation

Marie, this one goes out to you! And to little Hugo, of course.

I want to know what you do when someone else’s kid gets hurt on your watch. That’s right, me. The clumsy one, the one with tattered insurance cards, the one to whom nurses wave at the local ER.

Has another person’s child been hurt on your watch?  How did you feel, and how did the other parent react?  Join the Momversation by commenting in a related forum:

• What do you do when others don’t follow your rules?
• Funniest kid injury story?

Tuesday, February 02, 2010 Family

I met with a Realtor yesterday. Time to start boxing up the books. We’re selling up.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010 Family

I’ve been working with Quaker Oats—not literally working with the oats, I’m not much of a sculptor—to help support the Share Our Strength charity, which is working to end childhood hunger in America. Some of my favorite bloggers are participating as well (yes, we are being compensated, and as you know I only accept projects I believe in supporting) and I’m looking forward to seeing what they come up with. They had some pretty big events and challenges coming up and Quaker helped them create some yummy concoctions to anchor tummies in advance. Seriously, people, there are a lot of things I never thought of putting in oatmeal that sounds awesome. The one they created for me? I could have predicted some of it but there are a couple twists I never would have considered and now I’m drooling over them.

I encourage all of you to “CREATE YOUR DAY” by going to WWW.QUAKEROATS.COM/CREATEYOURDAY and discovering an oatmeal creation that will best help you tackle the day that lies ahead. When you do, come back and tell me about it in a comment. I need all the ideas I can get, and have already spent more time than I’ll admit playing on the site. *cough*

For every bowl of oatmeal created on this site, GoodBite.com & Quaker will donate $1.00 to “Share Our Strength”, a charity dedicated to ending childhood hunger, up to $25,000. That’s a lofty goal, but with your help we can do it.  $25,000 will go a long way to helping Share Our Strength continue their important work, and will add to the Great Karma Bucket in the Sky. We’ve all benefited at one time or another from others’ generosity, and might offer this as a reminder to the Universe that we’re grateful and willing to share with others.

NOTICE TO VIEWERS/CONSUMERS
The preceding video episode was sponsored and underwritten by the Quaker Oats Company, (Quaker).  The talent and video bloggers appearing in the preceding video episode received cash compensation and/or in-kind remuneration in exchange for the services rendered on and off camera, directly or indirectly, from Quaker and/or Digital Entertainment Corporation of America, (DECA), the producer of the preceding video episode.  The views and statements of the talent and video bloggers appearing in the preceding video episode were made independently and without influence from either Quaker or DECA.

Friday, January 29, 2010 Family, Momversation

Your child walked at 5 months?  Great!  He said his first word when he was barely out of the womb?  Super!

What do you think?  Is it important to push your children to reach developmental milestones?  Or should we all just take a giant chill pill?  Join the Momversation by commenting on a related forum:

• Boys and the gun thing, ugh.
• My child and his tantrums

Thursday, January 28, 2010 Family

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. —Malachy McCourt

Monday, January 25, 2010 Family, Momversation

What do you think?  Should your children be privy to the round-the-clock coverage tragedies such as the tsunami, 9/11, and the Haiti earthquake inspire?  Or do you have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy?  Join the Momversation by commenting in a related forum:

• What are you doing to help the people in Haiti?
• Do you have an emergency plan?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010 Family, Momversation

How’s your hoo-hah?  Your twinkie?  Your flower?  How’s your… vagina?  Yep, doesn’t quite have the same “cutesy” ring to it.  And that’s just fine with Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom who is not a fan for precious nicknames for private parts (is private part a cutesy nickname?), especially when used by moms.  Do these nicknames annoy you, and do you think kids should be taught them?  Sound off!

Do you use cutesy names for private parts?  Do you use them in general or just with your kids?  Share them, and join the Momversation by commenting in a related forum:

• Would you buy your teen daughter a vibrator?
• Caught in the act!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010 Family

MISSion Amy K.R. got my attention with this week’s lesson: Let’s learn a Little something from our kids. She created a video called ”22 Things My Children Have Taught Me.” which inspired me immediately jump on the bandwagon and make one of my own. It certainly pulled me out of my funk, and it was so great watching the children watch it. They loved it, which is not always the case when it comes to my little projects. *COUGH*

First, Miss Amy’s video.

Now, mine!

Let’s see yours! Or leave a few lessons learned in the comments.

ARRRGH Youtube won’t let me choose my own music. Wah. I had “Loves Me Like A Rock,” but will have to go with “Someday, Someway” instead. Bah.

Saturday, January 16, 2010 Family

Just added: an 18K gold & diamond bracelet, a 2.5 carat diamond and platinum three-stone ring, and a rare Marc Chagall lithograph.

I’m selling my wedding ring and some art to pay back health insurance premiums. It’s a long story. Which I will tell you now.

I’ve had an up and down experience with the American health care system. I have been extremely grateful for the times when my paying into an egregiously greedy and ill-managed system has paid off, like when my newborn son went into heart failure, stopped breathing, and lay in a coma for a couple weeks while he (unbelievably, apparently) survived viral myocarditis, a viral infection of his heart caused by a Coxsackie exposure at his older brother’s daycare. Destroyed most of his heart muscle. You’d never know it today. He’s totally fine, against every odd you can imagine. The bill came to something like $250,000. The insurance company fought me, big time, but eventually paid the bill.

I’ve also been annoyed at the peculiarities of the system. For instance, everyone knows that if you leave a job insured, you have the option to continue coverage under COBRA. Am I right? What most people don’t realize is that if your former employer goes out of business, you lose your COBRA coverage. I shit thee not. If there isn’t a company paying premiums, there isn’t any coverage. Usually you get about two weeks notice before you’re swinging in the wind. This has happened to me twice.

I’ve spent the last six months uninsured, because I’m basically uninsurable according to the current thinking in insurance underwriting. I’ve had babies. I’ve sought fertility treatment. I was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression in 2002, for which I took medication. These are the reasons I have been turned down by every major insurance company, even when applying for a policy that specifically excluded maternity coverage. I am not making this up.

Fortunately for those who pose unacceptable risks for private insurance companies, there is a government safety net: HIPAA (The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996). If no one else will insure you, the government must offer you a policy.

Now, it can take a while to get through the process. The last time I was uninsured, it was months before I had confirmed coverage, so I knew that it would take some time to secure coverage again this time. Five months, to be specific. It might have been shorter had Aetna and I agreed on whether or not I’d checked the box that said, “Please consider me for HIPAA coverage if denied,” but that’s a whole ball of wax I don’t need to go into. Yesterday, I convinced someone that I indeed had checked that box, a supervisor made an exception, et voilà! Covered!

The good news: I’m covered retroactively to September 1, 2009!

The bad news: the five months of back premiums for that retroactive coverage is immediately payable in full. As in, I have thirty days to come up with $2,510 in back premiums, or they will cancel my insurance.

Normally, if I hadn’t been paying cash for prescriptions, emergency room visits, and other basic health care, I’d have that kind of money. But I don’t.

The three thousand dollars it cost to run blood work when my daughter and I had Fifth Disease? Went to collections.

The OTHER three thousand dollars for three stitches in my thumb? Went to collections.

I’m sure there’s more but I don’t pick up my house phone much anymore. I hate talking to collectors, starting at eight a.m. and ending at nine p.m., seven days a week. You can request that they not call you at your place of employment, but I work out of the house.

I’ve finally paid the last of the medical bills, and have since have avoided medical care like the plague whenever possible. So to speak.

And now, I have a policy! Which brings me circuitously to the title of this post: I need cash. So, I’m auctioning off my wedding ring and some art. If I raise enough, I might be able to replace my twelve-year-old car that keeps making noises and flashing some “CHECK ENGINE” light at me. Plus? The ABS brake lighty-thingy.

American capitalism. It’ll put hair on your chest. And in the loony bin if you’re not careful.

Friday, January 15, 2010 Family

I’ll keep adding to this post as new emails come to me!

OpenSky: Donating 100% of profits from now through Sunday to help the Haitian people.

UNICEF USA Fund: Words fail: up to two million children are at risk in Haiti right now. Separated from their families. Trapped under rubble. Countless newly orphaned. Desperate. Every moment matters: donate NOW and 100% of every dollar to the U.S. Fund for UNICEF will go directly to fund child-saving relief efforts in Haiti. Less than 48 hours ago, UNICEF delivered to Port-au-Prince:

• 10,000 tarpaulins
• 4,600 water containers
• 5.5 million water purification tablets
• 556,000 oral rehydration sachets

Federated Media: You’re already doing great things to cover the story and help, from Pete Cashmore’s CNN column to John Nolte on Hollywood’s efforts to Ree Drummond donating $1,000 to reader-picked charities and then another $2,100 after she promised to send a dime for every reader comment and got 21,000!

And wonderful “how to help” posts from Barry Ritholtz, Read/Write Web, Laughing Squid, Cool Mom Picks, Next New Networks, Serious Eats, Outblush and many more authors.  It’s an honor every day to be a part of this amazing community, and even more so at a time like this. Thank you.