TheMommyBlog

Monday, March 15, 2010 Family, Travel

For eight or nine years, my family had a gathering place in Lake Tahoe. For all those years, our family would come together from Sacramento, Los Gatos, San Jose, Chicago, and Tokyo to be together for the holidays and for some great skiing in the winter or hiking and biking in the summer. I found out I was pregnant for the first time in that house, and two of my children took their first steps right in the living room. My folks have since traded that place in for another on the beach—which, don’t get me wrong, is AWESOME—so although we have a very different kind of gathering place for our family now, I miss that place like crazy. It’s so hard to gather a big family when you don’t have room to expand as the family grows. Now we sometimes have to take turns or find additional accommodations.

All of which is to say… I don’t normally do promotions or contests, but this one, sponsored by SuiteTrip.com, was too much fun to pass up. I TOTALLY want to be responsible for someone winning an awesome, free vacation.

1. Each week for four weeks, I will post a trivia question here on The Mommy Blog. The first question will be posted on Wednesday, March 17.
2. Answers will be posted on the SuiteTrip.com web site.You can enter the “Sweet Suite Giveaway” by sending me the answer in an email at (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
3. Three winners will receive a free two-night stay at any Homewood Suites property in the U.S.

Homewood Suites by Hilton developed SuiteTrip.com specifically for leisure and family travelers to help enhance their vacation experience.  The site serves as the go-to site for family travel planning by tapping the expertise of today’s most trusted names in family and leisure travel who provide trip advice directly from their own vacations and adventures.

Launched in 1989, the Homewood Suites by Hilton brand today has nearly 300 hotels in North America and Mexico and approximately 120 properties in the development pipeline. The brand offers complimentary high-speed internet access, daily hot breakfast, and an evening reception featuring a light meal and beverages, Monday through Thursday.  Beyond its spacious suites and home-like amenities, Homewood Suites guests can find at each hotel an on-site Suite Shop convenience store, exercise facility and guest laundry at most locations. Additional guest services offered at most locations include a complimentary grocery shopping service* and a complete business center. 

Dude, I want to go RIGHT NOW. Actually, I’m a little frosted that I can’t enter. Fortunately, I am being paid for this promotion, so it’s all good (disclosure pursuant to my Blog with Integrity pledge).

I’m not the only fab online personality involved (my fab factor is going up by association). Contributors to SuiteTrip.com include:

• Beth Blair of TheVacationGals.com - freelance writer and travel-planning mastermind
• Catherine Boley of Trekaroo.com - education advocate and destination devotee
• Scott Carmichael of Gadling.com - frequent flyer and leisure trip consultant
• Esther Lee of Trekaroo.com - travel hot spot enthusiast
• Grant Martin of Gadling.com - adventure traveler and sightseeing aficionado
• Lisa McElroy of SuiteLiving.com - hotel and lifestyle expert
• Jennifer Miner of TheVacationGals.com - conservationist and travel-tip whiz
• Jamie Pearson of TravelSavvyMom.com - budget travel genius
• Kara Williams of TheVacationGals.com - backpacker and vacation advice guru

Sunday, March 14, 2010 Bad Mood Dude, Family

My son came to me after a long weekend of open house events here. For two days, we’ve wandered from our house to dad’s house to Guy’s house, to Grandma’s and to the baseball field to kill time while people scrutinize our house for imperfections that might leverage a lowball offer. I hate these weekends, because it’s necessary remove any sort of evidence that people live here. Better to look like a Hilton when selling a home, right? *eyeroll*

“Mom, have you seen my DS? I left it on my dresser.”

“Nope, I think I’d remember that.”

“You sure you didn’t put it somewhere? And did you ever find that game I was asking about the other day?”

“Hon, have you ever looked at your bedroom today and compared it to your bedroom of the last eleven years? There were PILES OF CRAP EVERYWHERE that had to be sorted and moved so that we could make it look nice. When we move and unpack boxes, you’ll get to look for it, but I’m not opening boxes in the POD to search for something that MIGHT be in a box out there. When did you last see it, anyway?”

“Two years ago.”

Good Christ Jemimy on a syrup bottle.

“Two years?”

“Yeah, maybe we should think about buying a new one.”

“Maybe not.”

“Why?’

“Look, we have to clean up this place for two days a week. We need to put the important things—”

“But do you think the Realtors moved it?”

My voice went up a notch. “Babe, you’re going to have to learn how to let me finish a sentence if you want to hear an answer.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“I was just trying to say that there is no way the Realtors moved it, and that I wouldn’t have just put it somewhere else, I would have handed it to you and asked you to put it in your backpack or something. And if you’d waited for me to finish, you’d have heard that sooner.”

He looked ready to cry.

“Hon, look at me. Why are you so upset?”

“Because I’m afraid of what might happen.”

“What? Are you afraid of me?”

He didn’t answer.

“Have I ever hurt you or given you a reason to be afraid of me?”

“No.”

“Then I don’t understand. What have I done to you?”

“It’s not what you’ve done to me, it’s what you’ve done to yourself.”

My heart stopped.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re just so stressed out lately I’m afraid of what might happen if things don’t get better soon. I’m afraid you’ll explode or something.”

Oh. My. God.

“Baby, I’m not going to explode. I lose my temper sometimes, and I’m sorry about that. I’m not going to fall apart, I promise. We’re all safe. We are going to be just fine, okay, baby?”

“Okay.”

“Oh, hon, I’m so sorry you’re thinking things like that. It’s too much for a child, you’re not supposed to worry about taking care of your parents. I’m sorry. We’re fine. Okay?”

“Okay.”

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Man. I’m sorry.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010 QOTD

“Mom, where did you put all the stuff piled in our room when you packed? I need to find something. It’s small and red.”

Monday, March 08, 2010 Momversation

I added what was cut from my footage in a comment:

I know people who cannot fly coach because they have long legs. I can barely fly coach because my knees are always up against the seat in front of me and get crunched when the guy in front drops his seat into my lap. If I could afford business or first class, I would buy tickets there, but as I can’t, I know I have to keep my knees bent and my feet up on something to make room.

I agree with SilverXeno on the standards issue. What didn’t make it into the video was that I believe this issue should not have to come up on the plane, at the gate, or even after the ticket is purchased. There should be guidelines clearly stating seat dimensions on the web site or wherever the purchase is made. If there’s any doubt about being able to sit comfortably in a single seat, then you can have the option of purchasing an upgrade. I think buying two tickets feels… wrong, though I can see the business end of the argument. If you need two chairs, pay for two chairs.

However, there are a few smart business moves/compromises that would attract and retain the “of size” customer base.

1. People could be offered the two seats at the price of a seat-and-a-half. It’s psychologically friendlier, and the difference would be more than covered by the increase/retention in business.

2. If there is an empty seat on a flight, invite passengers to rearrange seating so that the passenger can have two adjacent seats so that they don’t have to be thrown off. If a seat is going unsold, give it up rather than humiliate that passenger in public and destroy travel plans.

3. I’d go so far as to suggest that the airline, when faced with an inadvertent situation like this, offer a $200 certificate to anyone willing to be bumped. That’s just enough money to make it worth someone’s while, and not so much that the airline will miss it. Again, it’s less than the lost business that would result from the negative experience and subsequent treatment in the press.

But that’s just my opinion.

Saturday, March 06, 2010 QOTD

Yesterday, my middle schooler told me he’d watched a South Park Episode called “Eat, Pray, Queef.” At Dad’s house. In my defense.

I kept my hands at ten and two on the wheel and asked, “Do need me to define any of that for you?”

“Um, no.”

“That’s fantastic.”

“Mom, are you okay?”

“We must never speak of this again.”

“Maybe that’s best.”

Friday, March 05, 2010 Me, Me, Me

I had no idea what was up with all the traffic from this baby blog, until I actually read it and realized it’s Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly from the TV show The Office.

Dude, it’s their wedding site, baby site, and video blog all in one. How cool is that? And I’m on the blogroll!

Friday, March 05, 2010 Family

I’ve been toying with resurrecting PearSoup.com ever since it was turned into a phishing site and I had to kill it. Lemme know what you think—if it’s worth doing again, I’ll keep it up. New features include a “Vote It Up” function!

Friday, March 05, 2010 Business, Bad Mood Dude, Family, Internet, News, Politics, Technology

This is just a portion of an article by Paul Craig Roberts, former university professor, Wall Street Journal editor, and assistant secretary of the U.S. Treasury. His latest book, How the Economy Was Lost: The War of the Worlds, has just been published by CounterPunch/AK Press.

My heart sank with every paragraph, as each point was identified, explained, and sank in. It’s like having a game of charades replaced by a set of progressively more informative bullet points with snapshots from your families’ lives appended.

I would love to poke holes in it and identify it as political propaganda, but I have seen, first-hand, too much of what’s described unfold. This is so much worse than accepting the previous, prevalent belief that we would never be able attain our parents’ generation’s standard of living.

Doomed by the Myths of Free Trade
How the Economy was Lost

By PAUL CRAIG ROBERTS

The American economy has gone away. It is not coming back until free trade myths are buried six feet under.

...The demise of America’s productive economy left the US economy dependent on finance, in which the US remained dominant because the dollar is the reserve currency. With the departure of factories, finance went in new directions. Mortgages, which were once held in the portfolios of the issuer, were securitized. Individual mortgage debts were combined into a “security.” The next step was to strip out the interest payments to the mortgages and sell them as derivatives, thus creating a third debt instrument based on the original mortgages.

In pursuit of ever more profits, financial institutions began betting on the success and failure of various debt instruments and by implication on firms. They bought and sold collateral debt swaps. A buyer pays a premium to a seller for a swap to guarantee an asset’s value. If an asset “insured” by a swap falls in value, the seller of the swap is supposed to make the owner of the swap whole. The purchaser of a swap is not required to own the asset in order to contract for a guarantee of its value. Therefore, as many people could purchase as many swaps as they wished on the same asset. Thus, the total value of the swaps greatly exceeds the value of the assets.*

The next step is for holders of the swaps to short the asset in order to drive down its value and collect the guarantee. As the issuers of swaps were not required to reserve against them, and as there is no limit to the number of swaps, the payouts could easily exceed the net worth of the issuer.

This was the most shameful and most mindless form of speculation. Gamblers were betting hands that they could not cover. The US regulators fled their posts. The American financial institutions abandoned all integrity. As a consequence, American financial institutions and rating agencies are trusted nowhere on earth.

The US government should never have used billions of taxpayers’ dollars to pay off swap bets as it did when it bailed out the insurance company AIG. This was a stunning waste of a vast sum of money. The federal government should declare all swap agreements to be fraudulent contracts, except for a single swap held by the owner of the asset. Simply wiping out these fraudulent contracts would remove the bulk of the vast overhang of “troubled” assets that threaten financial markets.

The billions of taxpayers’ dollars spent buying up subprime derivatives were also wasted. The government did not need to spend one dime. All government needed to do was to suspend the mark-to-market rule. This simple act would have removed the solvency threat to financial institutions by allowing them to keep the derivatives at book value until financial institutions could ascertain their true values and write them down over time.

Taxpayers, equity owners, and the credit standing of the US government are being ruined by financial shysters who are manipulating to their own advantage the government’s commitment to mark-to-market and to the “sanctity of contracts.” Multi-trillion dollar “bailouts” and bank nationalization are the result of the government’s inability to respond intelligently.

Two more simple acts would have completed the rescue without costing the taxpayers one dollar: an announcement from the Federal Reserve that it will be lender of last resort to all depository institutions including money market funds, and an announcement reinstating the uptick rule.

The uptick rule was suspended or repealed a couple of years ago in order to permit hedge funds and shyster speculators to rip-off American equity owners. The rule prevented short-selling any stock that did not move up in price during the previous day. In other words, speculators could not make money at others’ expense by ganging up on a stock and short-selling it day after day.

As a former Treasury official, I am amazed that the US government, in the midst of the worst financial crises ever, is content for short-selling to drive down the asset prices that the government is trying to support. No bailout or stimulus plan has any hope until the uptick rule is reinstated…

Tuesday, March 02, 2010 Family

The kids are insulting each other’s mother and then apologizing to me.

Monday, March 01, 2010 QOTD

Me: I won’t blame our misfortune on outside forces because whatever happens, happens, and the outcome is merely a measure of the limit of my ability to cope.

Logan: I didn’t understand a word you just said but I’m sure it was very meaningful.

Saturday, February 27, 2010 Bad Mood Dude, Family

I wasn’t going to write about this because it’s just gross, but it’s starting to sound a little funny, and we’re kicked out of the house for three hours while the open house is going on. We’re at my ex’s house. Hannah Montana is on in one room, and Mario in the other. I’m hunkered in a corner waiting it all out.

So, police tape. I SO WANTED to block off half my house today to keep anyone from wandering back there because I thought there was no way I could make it livable again.

You see, at around two a.m. I heard a child get up and use my bathroom. Yes the other one is still not functional. Shut up. About ten minutes later, I heard sounds in the other bathroom and got worried. There shouldn’t be anything going on in there except baths, and that was NOT water running.

I know I exaggerate for humor but I swear to all that is good and crunchy I am not stretching one syllable. There was no way to get down the hall or into the bathroom without stepping in it. It was UNBELIEVABLE. Just like those cartoons where someone leans in to coo at a baby and the baby fire-hoses him with spit-up. There was a lot of effort going into controlling the fire hose, but it looked like a child actually holding a fire hose and being whipped around by the force.

By the time I skated in there, there was no place to focus other than the little two-gallon metal trash container, and it wasn’t going to hold much more. I just didn’t know what to do or how I was going to get out of there and across the valuable Gabbeh runner between the kitchen and me. No matter. First order of business: wait it out and then deposit child into hot, sudsy bath. When I was sure it was in remission, I stuck my feet one by one into the tub and tiptoed along the tops of the baseboards until I was out of the swamp.

Ok. paper towels, new roll. Tilex. Swiffer mop. Bucket. Oil soap. HazMat suit.

Good gravy, I’ve cleaned up some messes but this was—I know I’ve said this—UNBELIEVABLE. And I couldn’t mutter or swear or I’d further offend my already mortified child.

One hour later—ONE HOUR—I’d cleaned that bathroom like I’ve never cleaned anything before. Walls, baseboards, tiles, grout, you name it. I finally fished my baby out of the tub and into bed. Then I went back for one more sweep.

This morning, It looked and smelled great! Yipee! I win! But wait… something… crap there was still something somewhere. I just couldn’t figure out where.

And then I decided to re-enact it. I went into the bedroom and closed the door. Bingo. The first obstacle. It was ALL OVER the inside of the door. I’m guessing that was the first barrier. Then there was the turn into the bathroom, slipping in the mess, then the closed toilet, then the spin around to hit the 2-gallon decorative waste can. That’s when I walked (slid) in. Mystery solved.

And just enough time to set it right before we left and let the realtors do their thing.

Friday, February 26, 2010 QOTD

How come talking to you reminds me to take my meds?
—Guy

Thursday, February 25, 2010 Me, Me, Me, Other people who write

I am waaaay too pooped to write about the last couple of very eventful days in Provo with BYUTV. I will say that theirs is a first-rate operation, thorough, thoughtful, efficient, helpful, detailed, and a whole lotta fun. First class all the way. THANK YOU.

Had a blast meeting Daphne of Cool Mom (we’ve been on Momversation.com for a year together but this was the first time we’ve been in the same room!), Kadi of Girly Gazette, and Jennie of Bee Hive and Bird’s Nest, and of course, our lovely host, Rebecca Cressman.

Having said that, I will present the rest of the update with my Twitter timeline. No, really, s’funny.

Actually uttered the words junk hole talking to a total stranger about Mormon garments on the flight to Salt Lake. Thank you, #mooshinindy
Feb. 24

Salt Lake: Just got into a new hybrid, couldn’t figure out key. Why? No key. Just shove the remote in. Those younguns.
Feb. 23

Warming some sort of cockles knowing that the weekly Realtor tour is stampeding through my house. Also? I’m at BYU. Which is more unnerving?
Feb 23

Taking whitebread to a whole new level in Provo. White toast, waffles, muffins, rolls, yogurt.
Feb. 24

Venturing out to the wilds of Provo to see Bridal Veil Falls. Heck, it’s only four miles away from the hotel.
about 24 hours ago

Omg. Provo Canyon? Is a CANYON.
about 23 hours ago

I feel like I’m driving on a piece of floss between huge craggy molars and I might bump into the sides of the Canyon.
about 23 hours ago

Crap. I haven’t fishtailed like that in YEARS. Prius? You suck on snowy roads and your traction is for shit.
about 23 hours ago

What a surprise: Bridal Falls is not in season. I saw a sign, no stopping until April 1 as I slid past.
about 23 hours ago

Driving now. Shush.
about 23 hours ago

Holy crap the roads are tough here. My Prius keeps flashing a warning picture with squiggly lines. YES, I KNOW.
about 23 hours ago

That’s it. I am going back to the hotel for a movie in bed. I pulled over just to tell you that.
about 23 hours ago

Strip mall: a laundromat. Think I’ll launder my shorts. Prkd by pizza buffet, $1 store, Armed Forces recruiting office.
about 23 hours ago

Wow, thought that was going to be a nature drive. Instead I was scribbling my last wishes on the flippin Hertz envelope.
about 22 hours ago

A Hwy Patrol passed me while I tried to get out of slush. I thought he’d stop. Was prob tweeting his friends. *snicker*
about 22 hours ago

All dressed and ready for the studio an hour early. Crap. At least am modest. In dress, in dress.
about 20 hours ago

Here at BYUTV with #digitalkadi. She is a better blogger than I am. Got on the network but I can’t with netbook or iPod. #FAIL
about 19 hours ago

@byutv Yes. We’re here waiting on makeup and wardrobe. They’re taking me as I walked off the street, so be it. Shedding on my black sweater.
about 18 hours ago via web in reply to byutv

Just filmed segment with #coolmom who was a scream. Taking a big risk putting us on a couch together.
about 15 hours ago

Just had a Leslie Nielsen moment in the john with mike still on. Very hard to pee with two mikes on your belt. #PEEFAIL
about 15 hours ago

Uuuuuunnnnggghhhyawnghhh
about 5 hours ago

At gate, starbucks in hand. Ran like hell. Who could have predicted sleet? Grateful for an ice scraper in the rental.
about 4 hours ago

And SCENE.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010 Me, Me, Me

I’m here in Provo to film a talk show with BYUTV that will air in the fall. I came in a night early so I wouldn’t be walking right from the plane with all its dry air, water-retentionyness, and general travel scum to the studio. Instead, I will be going from my hotel room with all its dry air, water-retentionyness, and general lack of body lotion to the studio. Seriously, no lotion. I am using my precious facial cream on my hands and feet, and the rest of my body can go to hell.

Plus? I got up from a post-breakfast nap and wandered to the slider in my undies (not Mormon undies, more on FB and Twitter about that, actually, more than you need to know, just your run of the mill Catholic school girl undies), pulled back to drapes and there was SNOW on the porch, snow covering the ground, and a river running through the trees behind my room.

Did I bring boots? No.

Did I bring socks? No. You know I never wear socks or nylons.

Am I still going out? Yes! Bridal Falls is four miles away? What was I thinking? I was going to eat the candy bar and microwave popcorn in my hotel gift basket and watch a complimentary movie, but that would mean… say it with me…more dry skin and water retentioyness. So I’m going.

And I’m going like the Irish Catholic school girl I was raised to be: barely prepared and with wet hair. I was never patient enough to dry it all the way and loved the way icicles formed at the back.

At least I’m not wearing post earrings. I did learn something growing up in Chicago..