TheMommyBlog

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 Fun Finds

Brought to you by my stepfather, an internationally known public health expert, sent to me lovingly in an email with like thirty forwarders. God, he sends some funny things.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR WOMEN

Pregnant women, or women who plan to become pregnant, should avoid taking PANEXA or handling broken tablets. Or intact tablets. Women considering some day becoming pregnant, who have ever been pregnant, who have had a pregnant friend or pet, or who have seen other pregnant women, naked or otherwise, should also follow these precautions:Do not handle PANEXA tablets, containers, or related literature. If a PANEXA product nears your field of vision, avert your eyes. Try not to say the word “PANEXA.” If you do happen to pronounce the syllables, spit thrice and soak your hands in iodine. If you hear the words spoken, live or via recorded medium, cover your ears and immediately see a specialist to try and staunch the bleeding. Try not to think too hard about PANEXA. In fact, don’t ever even think about it at all. Pretend you never heard of PANEXA, and never will. Drop this magazine immediately, and get the hell out of here as fast as you fucking can. Go on, get out of here. You’ll thank me.

Some important side effects to note (why have I let this go for so long?):

• shiny, valuable feces composed of aluminum and studded with diamonds and sapphire
• everything you think you see becomes a Tootsie Roll to you;
• skin: Might turn blue, wither, and fall off. Or just get really thick and spongy (muppet-like);

Most alarming of all (emphasis mine):

• susceptibility to wedgies, no rhythm, dresses for shit, and can’t hold a job to save your life; blue sweats; symptoms that look like scurvy, but louder.

Monday, November 21, 2005 Fun Finds

No, not for me, for Andi Buchanan! And not a live one, a book! I’ve been carrying it around in my laptop case, purse, car, airplanes for like three weeks now, pulling it out in quiet moments and chucking over the essays by women surprised with a boy when they wanted (or thought they wanted) a girl. Having both boys and a girl, I can totally relate and relive the uncertainty and fear and dread of dealing with A BOY. Gaaaah!

Andi is currently on a book tour blitz, and I am proud to be one of the stops on the tour! Andi is not just a good writer, a good blogger, a good role model, a good looker, but a good friend. She didn’t know me before this past spring, and already she has gone out of her way to help with my proposal. She has been generous and supportive and everything I imagined she’d be from reading her books.

With that, I offer you several links about her latest, It’s a Boy:

• The Introduction to “It’s a Boy”;
• An interview with Andi about “It’s a Boy”;
• Info about the Blog Book Tour;
• The list of writers contributing to the book: Stephany Aulenback, Karen Bender, Kathryn Black, Robin Bradford, Gayle Brandeis, Faulkner Fox, Katie Allison Granju, Ona Gritz, Gwendolen Gross, Melanie Lynn Hauser, Marrit Ingman, Susan Ito, Suzanne Kamata, Katie Kaput, Jennifer Lauck, Caroline Leavitt, Jody Mace, Jennifer Margulis, Jacquelyn Mitchard, Catherine Newman, Sue O’Doherty, Marjorie Osterhout, Jamie Pearson, Lisa Peet, Jodi Picoult, Maura Rhodes, Rochelle Shapiro, Kate Staples, and Marion Winik;
• And, finally, some questions and answers.

(Btw, I can’t wait to read the next one, “It’s a Girl”!)

From Rebecca Steinitz, contributor to the “It’s a Girl” book:
Q: As you read through piles of manuscripts from mothers of boys, did you find any consistent threads?  Anything surprising? 
A: I was surprised by the sheer volume of pieces I got on wanting to have a daughter instead of a son. Of course, I had felt that way myself when I was pregnant and had been so attached to the idea of having two girls, but I hadn’t encountered too many people in my real life who felt the same. So I surprised to get so many essays on being the reluctant mother of a son. 

From Sandra of the blog Dance As If Nobody’s Watching:
Q: What seems to be the biggest thematic difference between boy-centric concerns and girl-centric concerns?
A: For both the Boy book and the Girl book, I received many essay submissions from writers who were conflicted about the sex of their baby, something I came to call “prenatal gender apprehension.” But the concerns of writers in It’s a Boy were about the otherness of the male gender: What the heck do you do with a boy? Some of the writers in It’s a Girl ask a similar question about raising their daughters, but what prompts that question is not the fear of an unknown gender, but of knowing it all too well. Also, in Boy, writers talked about the act of separation—letting go of teenagers and a mother’s changing role as her child becomes an adult. This separation, though, was mainly about adolescents. But in It’s a Girl, writers wrestled with letting go of daughters who were five, eight, nine, teenagers, grown women. Clearly—in these collections, at least—identification and separation between mothers and daughters is a different terrain from that of mothers and sons. 

From Shannon at Peter’s Cross Station:
Q: When I first heard about the project, it sounded like yet another opportunity to make stereotyped claims about gender in children. How have you been able to avoid falling into that old rut?  How did you manage to do something new in this book (these books)? 
A: Well, as I said in my original call for submissions, my whole idea with this book was to refute the gender stereotypes about boys and girls, and to explore whether or not those stereotypes really exist in actual boys and girls through essays by thoughtful writers. For the BOY book, I was specifically looking for pieces that questioned the cultural assumptions we have about boys—whether the essayists ultimately embraced the stereotypes or rejected them was not as important to me as whether or not the writers wrestled with them in the first place. So the BOY book has pieces about a mother being surprised by a son’s love, since what she experienced with her son ran counter to her expectations of what a boy would be like; about a transsexual mother grappling with how to raise her son in the face of everyone’s attitude that her mere presence tips the scale in the direction of him being gay; about a woman nurturing her son’s desire for soft, pretty things, even though a part of her wants to protect him from the harsh, messy world that will surely not be so kind; about boys who defy stereotypes, boys who fit them, and the way mothers adjust their expectations to fit the reality of who their sons are.

From Marjorie at MomBrain:
A: You have a son and a daughter. How have these projects changed your feelings about mothering a son and mothering a daughter? 
Q: I think the experience of having a boy and girl has probably changed my feelings more than working on these projects has. Pre-kid I was a big nurture versus nature proponent, but now having two kids and seeing how different they are, I am more prepared to believe that children pretty much come as they are – both of mine were born with their temperaments, and I feel like my work with them is to help them either cope with that temperament or embrace it. (And that’s how I think of the differences between them, by the way, as differences due to temperament, not necessarily gender.) But working on the books did give me a wonderful chance to read so many people’s stories about their lives as mothers of boys or mothers of girls, and I found these tales of varied experience quite absorbing. I did come away from these projects with the distinct impression that mothering a girl can be somewhat more . . . intense or personal than mothering a boy. There’s something about raising a girl that makes a mother have to confront her own girlness, and brings up her relationship with her own mother. That kind of intergenerational fraughtness just doesn’t seem to be there with mothers of boys – at least in the stories in my book.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005 Fun Finds

Just as I was logging on to TypePad to see if my latest DotMoms post was up, I miss-typed the login info and found myself here instead.

“What’s a Weblog?”
Julie Moos Organizes DotMoms

DotMoms is a weblog that features smart, fun, and focused writing about motherhood from many perspectives. The DotMoms are good writers with something to say about life on the homefront. We aim to be a diverse group that reflects all kinds of moms (different ages, locations, races, religions, and so on), and all kinds of kids. In fact, some of us are kids—at heart, if not chronologically—people who have moms, and know moms, and can share observations from that point of view…  Read more…

Ooh! ooh! And Julie says that Dot Moms is featured in a new book called, Blogosphere: Best of Blogs. It’s like Christmas every time I stumble upon a mention of DotMoms or my blog or that of anyone else I know. DotMoms is such a fantastic group of writers, and I am proud to have gotten in on the early side back when there wasn’t such a rigorous screening process. Seriously, more get turned away than are invited. I feel lucky to be allowed to publish two essays a month there. Didn’t I mention that they were voted one of Time.com‘s Coolest web sites of 2005? Well, they were!

The other thing I wanted to mention was that my new site is very, very close to being launched. The Lovely and talented Joelle of Moxie Design Studios has outdone herself this time with a design incorporating snazzy art from DesignHer Gals. They made a Mindy Gal and everything! Go check them out… a percentage of each purchase goes to fund care for Stage Four breast cancer patients. And they make chic, fun paper goods. What’s not to like

Saturday, November 05, 2005 Fun Finds

In fact, I’m up to, like, forty-five dollars’ worth of stuff in my cart already. I wish I could remember the sequence of clicks that landed me at KnockKnock; I’m pretty sure it started in an email from Elisa of BlogHer fame. She had links to Worker Bees, her marketing buzz gig, and then her Worker Bees Blog, and then her The Hip and Zen Pen, which led to Delight—The Stylish Blog, which featured “You’re an Asshole” cards from GlarkWare, plus a link to—you guessed it—KnockKnock. Whew!

I have picked up lots of this and that, but was especially amused by these two Report Cards: Mothering and Wild Drunken Binge. (That’s two topics: Mothering. And Wild Drunken Binge.) Why did I immediately think of Lee? Because he’d get the biggest kick out of it, of course.

*coughsharpie!cough*

Thursday, November 03, 2005 Fun Finds

Where the hell was I going with that last post? *tilts head to side, uses heel of hand to shake out useless debris, looks at mess on floor*

No worries! I have a Swiffer Carpet Flick! Heh. I never promised you a smooth segue.

Ever since reading Melanie Lynne Hauser’s Confessions of a Super Mom, I’ve been obsessed with the Swiffer. Hers makes her a superhero, through irresponsible and foolish behavior, sure, but still. I ran out and got one because it had to be good. And it is. Ask Phil how many times I’ve pushed that thing at his heels, saying, “Move a little more, there, god I can’t believe how many times today I’ve had to do this, would you look at all that crap my kids leave on the floor, this thing is a miracle.”

And NOW, Swiffer’s PR guy (who laughs at my jokes and is therefore cool) has sent me a Carpet Flick, which was very nice since I fobbed his last PR overture off onto Melanie because, hey, could there be a better cross-promotion opportunity? And then that bitch got to go to Hollywood and hang out with all the Fox celebrities. And I got… email saying how great it was. And pictures. And a Carpet Flick.

But you know? I’d rather have that than the uncomfortable realization that I was taller and wider than everyone else at a Hollywood party. And I didn’t have to do my hair. So all in all, a good deal.

So this Flick thing. Is fantastic. I have NO carpet in my house, just a couple of Gabbeh runners that get more abuse than their price warrants. I’m pretty sure they weren’t made to store Cheerios and Kool-aid powder. I didn’t actually know my runners were harboring such things until I got a look at the sticky fly-paper crap collector after I was done cleaning them. Holee frijoles did it pick up a lot of dirt and other unmentionables. This is good for me for two reasons: one) I NEVER vacuum, hate to do it, and sabotage any efforts by shoving it in the hall closet on top of stacks guaranteed to bury anyone trying to free it, and two) It’s SILENT. SILENT, do you hear me?? I think that’s why I never vacuum—what kind of crazy woman would touch a vacuum when she’s had three babies in four years and needs them to sleep?

Anyway, it couldn’t be easier to use. You slip a sticky card into the thing, run it over the carpet, pull it back out, and toss it. Everything sticks to the card. You could wear chiffon and velvet and never get a speck on you.

Anyway, your reward for reading this far is a link to the party pictures! Pamela Anderson is in them, and you can see the top of one of her knee-high socks peeking out of her tall boots. Heh. *meow*

Saturday, October 29, 2005 Fun Finds

via Amber

Wait—I just looked more closely, and read Tristan Lewis‘s fascinating analysis of the valuation of blogs by traditional media in the wake of AOL’s acquisition of Weblogs, Inc.

AOL bought Weblogs Inc., the two year old weblog network founded by Jason Calacanis and Brian Alvey, for a number that is rumored to be anywhere between $25 million and $40 million. In this process, Time Warner may be providing some ideas as to the valuation of blogs by traditional media.

...In acquiring Weblogs Inc., AOL has now provided us with some numbers traditional media are willing to pay for a blog. Looking at the numbers above, one can try to guess at the value of a link from an external site. a single link on the weblogsinc network represents 0.002258559942180087 percent of the overall network.

At the different rumored price points from AOL, it looks as follows:

Link	$25 million value	30 million value	40 million value
1	$564.64	$677.57	$903.42

Jeepers.

Categories: aol, weblogsinc, mommyblog, parenting, blog, blogs, business

Saturday, October 22, 2005 Fun Finds

“Okay, lady, you sent me to three dictionaries to look up a word in the first sentence. That’s the only reason I kept reading.”
—Andy Goodman

This is at a storytelling retreat last year. My first critique from a writer I admire. I sat with a nervous “is-that-a good-thing-or-a-bad-thing?” smile on my face and waited for him to continue. He flipped to the second page of my 750-word story. “Here. These two sentences. This is your story. Go away and do 750 words on just those two.” I didn’t know whether to be ashamed that he dismissed most of the story or happy that he thought he could coax better from me with such tight direction.This year, Wendy Boucher, author, commenter and now friend, pissed me off when she sent a copy of her new book because she sent me to the dictionary in the title. I take pride in my wide though not entirely useful vocabulary, and it irks me when I bump into word whose etymology escapes me (look it up). Wendy’s novel is called Parvenue Throws a Party. What is this “party” thing? Heh. Actually, it was “parvenue” giving me fits. On the cover, she defines it as “a female upstart.” Hey, I’m an upstart. I decided I liked the promising snark factor and began reading.

As I went along, that word started bugging me again. This lady wasn’t so much an upstart as a social dork. So I looked it up.

par-ve-nu
Pronunciation: ‘pär-ve-“nü, -“nyü
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural par-ve-nus /-“n(y)üz/
Etymology: French, from past participle of parvenir to arrive, from Latin pervenire, from per through + venire to come: one that has recently or suddenly risen to an unaccustomed position of wealth or power and has not yet gained the prestige, dignity, or manner associated with it.

Shit. I looked up “upstart.”

up-start
Pronunciation: ‘up-“stärt
Function: noun
1 : one that has risen suddenly (as from a low position to wealth or power) : PARVENU; especially : one that claims more personal importance than is warranted
2 : a start-up enterprise
- up-start /‘up-’/ adjective up-start
Pronunciation: ‘up-“stärt
Function: noun
1 : one that has risen suddenly (as from a low position to wealth or power) : PARVENU; especially : one that claims more personal importance than is warranted
2 : a start-up enterprise
- up-start /‘up-’/ adjective

Double shit. I’m not an upstart, and I’d better not catching any of you saying it.

In Parvenue Throws a Party Wendy gives us Janice Darcy, a woman who never really got over someone else being Prom Queen. Someone else getting the rich boyfriend. Someone else having a posher shade of green on her dining room walls.

Darcie lives in South Tampa, which I hear is a bitch of a place to live if you have no social status, or, worse, don’t really care about it. Janice cares, a LOT, and won’t be happy until everyone else cares as well or at least allows her to claw her way into the upper circles, the best neighborhood, the right parties. She is a classic example of nouveau-riche, what we call around my house “all money and no taste.” Except that she doesn’t really have the money, and has to scrape by on ever thinning credit.

It’s an interesting experience to read about a woman you want to slap. Janice isn’t very likable—in the way she treats her mother, orders her sister around, and fails to recognize any depth in her marriage—because she can only see what she doesn’t have: status. It get hilarious once she goes completely around the bend and starts her own consulting business teaching others longing for social status to seize it even if it means driving yourself into debt shopping for clothes that make you feel uncomfortable just so you can look good at the supermarket.

I only really ever liked Janice when she was with her daughter. It was the only place she was real—feeling guilt for using daycare to give her time to start her business, being attuned to her moods and needs—and her only tether to reality, even if it is a reality without a club membership. I won’t spoil the surprises for you; they are as unexpected as they are ridiculous. And yet I couldn’t help feeling sorry for her just a bit. I can’t ever dislike someone who genuinely loves her children.

Thursday, October 06, 2005 Fun Finds

National Lampoon’s Telling a Kid His Parents Are Dead
By Ed Bluestone & Shary Flenniken

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 Fun Finds

My jaw fell open today as I read about Paris Hilton’s new engagement announcements featured in InStyle Magazine... They’re made by DesignHer Gals! Hey, that’s where I ordered my calling cards and note cards! I told y’all they were faboolicious!

The best part is that a portion of the profits go to the Gal to Gal Foundation to fund Stage Four breast cancer patients.

And get this: soon you will see something new here, and you will not believe your eyes. In fact, I think Paris and I own the same dress…

UPDATE: My sources tell me that Paris and Paris have split. Break out the black moiré.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005 Fun Finds

Dimples and Dandelions, a Chic Children’s Boutique, has such cute baby clothing and furniture… Watch out, BabyStyle and PoshTots!

Thanks to Michael Stroud for the find! I’m just sad that they don’t make the pink/chocolate kimono jammies in my size… oh, wait. I’m doomed. They carry girls clothing in size 4T. Must. Hide. Credit cards.

/sigh of relief from my bank account, uterus, and sanity

Thursday, September 01, 2005 Fun Finds

I may be taking this too far but I found another product that is as fun online as it is in person. Well, maybe not. It’s not very fun in person. But they try to make it fun. Boys, turn away. This is girls’ stuff.

I admit it: I love Ditties. I bought them on a whim one day just because the box was cute, and it makes me smile to read the little messages on the adhesive strip. Why am I bringing this up? Because I realized this morning why I have been all weepy and cranky and moody. DUH. It turns out I’m just Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System. Anyway, at least you can smile as you gear up for the day. My favorite strip reads, “A real friend is with you EVERY day of the month.”

So get this: I went to their site to get the URL and could not believe how much fun and hipness they’ve put into it! There’s a section for true, horrifically embarrassing stories (you can submit your own), and you can send PMS e-cards. Not only is the art enviable, but they have some funny web designers. Por ejemplo: “The Monthly Cycle: sign up to make your period more fun!” I didn’t go there yet. Saving it for when I need the chuckle.

Categories: parenting

Wednesday, August 31, 2005 Fun Finds

When I talked about DesignHer Gals yesterday, I totally forgot to mention the most important and exciting thing about shopping for t-shirts, business cards, and stationery there:

Through our partnership with the Gal to Gal Foundation, all purchases on this site contribute resources to support Stage IV breast cancer patients. Click [the button below] to learn more.

You’d think that working at a foundation and having breast surgery would have triggered something in my brain to mention this. Not only do I get pretty new business cards, but I get to donate to a good cause. (And no, I am not getting paid to say any of this. I’m just very excited about it.)

Tuesday, August 30, 2005 Fun Finds

I am having way too much fun with DesignHer Gals. You can design a gal to look like you (and they are all skinny so you can play it off as limited selection), dress her, give her accessories to hold (I would have gone for the martini glass, but it was TOO SMALL). Way fun. I may make some business cards or calling cards, or maybe just this “don’t call” card. Heee!

You can also make invitations, announcements, memo cards, recipe cards, photo boxes, labels and stickers. Very chic, very fun!

Found at Thrifty Boutique!