TheMommyBlog

Monday, August 24, 2009 Giveaways, Family

All three children made it home today, though I lost one for a while. He’s at middle school now, but has a phone to reach me, but that generally only works when I have my phone on me, too. I didn’t. When I found him I just asked him to walk home. I think we’ll be seeing a lot of that. In the meantime, He has “a lot of hot teachers.”

Another child wants a playdate practically next door to the school. Which we just came from. The SUV gauntlet surrounding that school and the one you have to pass to get there is terrifying. My fault, though, because I insisted we go home and ask a grownup at the other house if it was ok. I said no to having it at my house, so they agreed I would just drive. Because I work so well from my car. When he got out of the car at his friend’s, he said, “You’re the best mommy in the world, and I would never do anything on purpose to stress you out.”

The third child is not mine. That is a pod child. I do not know where she came from or what she wants, but apparently the choices of snack beverages available did not follow some pre-ordained inventory, because she has been crying and screaming for fifteen minutes now and is absolutely inconsolable. I’m thinking maybe the first day of school was a little stressful, as good stress is equally as stressful as bad stress. As we know.

I’ll need to go to the store soon to stock up on groceries since the kids have been gone five days and there isn’t a speck of food in the house, so it’s off to Safeway. An alert PR person wrote to tell me that Safeway has new, lower prices, so I’m going to check it out.

And, on the up side for you, they sent FIVE $50 GIFT CARDS for me to give away to you, my lovely readers! I’m not kidding. You can win a fifty dollar gift card and buy all the pork rinds you want.

To win a $50 Safeway gift card:

Rule 1: Take a photo, any photo of your back-to-school kids (or the aftermath of getting them ready).
Rule 2: Post a link in the comments and the first five will get a card!
Rule 3: There is no Rule Three. Go find your camera!!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Other people who write, Bad Mood Dude, BlogHer, Giveaways, News

The Momversation blog had a post that really hit home with me today, partially because although I’ve dropped off the BlogHer and Other Major Social Groups RADAR in the last few years due to overwhelm, I’m constantly inundated with PR requests, and partially because I am really starting to get irritated with the state of things.

Too many people are getting into blogging as if it were some sort of Amway. It’s not something to jump into while it’s hot so you can collect freebies and get paid to parrot. Blogging is something else entirely. What some people are doing now is the online equivalent of infomercials, hundreds of thousands of mini-Roncos. If all those products truly worked miracles, don’t you think we’d be able to get them at Target? The source becomes distrusted, worthless. And the rest of us are dragged down by association.

I’m thrilled about the Blog With Integrity movement and was on it in a hot second, but in truth I’m a little sad that we need it. I hate that people ask what I rake in (nearly nothing) and what PR folks send to me (you just would not believe it) and wonder how they can get in on it. I want to say, “Plastics” and go refill my drink.

Here’s the gist of the post and my response:

The “mommy blogger” backlash hit the front page of CNN.com today, as the PR Blackout Challenge and Blog With Integrity campaigns hit the mainstream media.  If you’re not aware, some mommy bloggers are under fire for taking money and/or free merchandise for recommending products and services.  It’s causing some people to question the ethics and truthfulness of the moms who are blogging today.  But according to the CNN article, some mom bloggers might just be overwhelmed with offers…

I just love how they slapped a screenshot of my site on the front page. Just hope people associate me with the Integrity group, not the Gimme group. I’ve worked too hard for too long to let anything external affect the moral stand I take on reviews. I will not take money, period, and if you send me something, there is no guarantee I will get past the note in the box. It’s so much work just looking at it, and the small percentage of items I do mention only make it here if those things have become part of my daily life.

In fairness, when there is something really cool offered as a giveaway, I’m on it. I don’t endorse anything, just report and reward. I have some great gift cards on my desk I’ve got to give away, and even that is making me hesitate because of all the hoopla. I’m not compromising integrity when I give things away, but it is still doing something I wouldn’t have spontaneously done on my own, and that is the crux of the biscuit. It’s my acid test. Even the legit stuff makes me jumpy. Too many people are doing things for the wrong reason (and calling their sites every possible variation on “The Mommy Blog” but that is a whole other rant). We’re all being spattered with the mud. It’s not a nice feeling.

Anyway. My comment:

I totally didn’t connect the blackout with all the PR requests in my inbox, that’s how scattered and overwhelmed I am. Nice! Now I’m just glad there’s a reason I can ignore them for a week.

I have literally stacks of things, mostly books, next to my desk that have been sent to me, and they are jamming up my life like you wouldn’t believe. Have to state a bit more strongly that I do not guarantee anything in the least, and the only stuff that gets mentioned is the stuff that thrills me and then only in the context of my life, writing as I normally do.

I’m sorry we’ve become saturated with gimme bloggers, and I get too many requests for help “getting started” or “succeeding” to hope that it will die down soon. Those of us who have been doing this forever with no anticipation of readership much less free stuff sort of feel like the guys who made it to Cooperstown before everyone started using steroids. The measurements are all off and the wacky surges have made the old numbers meaningless.

Then again I could be full of shit.

That last bit is what we should all keep in mind—that there is the distinct possibility that we are talking out of our nether regions. But at least I will be totally up front about it.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009 Me, Me, Me, BlogHer, Giveaways, Fellow Parenting Authors

This post from The Social Path is timely — fifteen hundred women (and a few gutsy men) will descend upon the BlogHer Conference in Chicago July 23-25. PR companies are highly focused and determined to reach this audience, and at the same time, scared shitless about screwing it up. As usual, I left a lengthy comment and cross-posted it here to get your reactions.

This is the week blogger outreach goes on trial.

In just a few days, an estimated 1,500 women will gather in Chicago for BlogHer, the mega-conference for women of the Web. And while there are sure to be countless topics for discussion, you can expect one to eclipse all others:

How should bloggers — most notably mom bloggers — be compensated by marketers?

This is a topic that has sparked heated debate for months (if not years), but it’s sure to come to a head this week as some of the largest brands and most influential Web personalities meet at the social media Mecca that is BlogHer. (Not to mention pending government regulations on how bloggers and marketers can work together.)

…In an Advertising Age video posted today, BlogHer Co-Founder Elisa Camahort Page outlines her blog network’s rules on disclosure and separating your “real blog” from your “review blog” — guidelines that some high-profile writers have criticized as being onerous and micromanaged.

You can expect some of these policies — along with a litany of other real-world dilemmas — to be hot-button issues throughout many of the BlogHer panels.

Oh, now I REALLY wish I were going to BlogHer, if only for this reason. I can’t afford to go, alas, because I am not paid to blog. Sound familiar?

I’ve been around a long time — started in 2002 (and was there stuffing binders in Elisa’s apartment for the very first BlogHer conference) — and am often approached for giveaways, reviews, and mentions, though I don’t really have a “review” blog. Generally, if it is something I do use, would use, have discovered I love using, or think my readers would love, I’ll talk about it in the context of my own family life. Or I’ll mention it in the Site of the Day section.

I know that PR companies go to a lot of trouble and expense to reach out to us, and that it is not always rewarding. It’s tough to contact hundreds of bloggers and get the name right in each personalized email (I’m being serious), tough to strike the right tone, tough to decide whether to inform the blogger of your product’s existence with an offer to sample it, or to ask for action on the blogger’s part.

If I receive the “info” type of email, I’ll look at the product and feature it if I think it’s awesome. If it’s not something I’d use or is a little outside my demographic, I may just delete the email. Or, I might flag the email with good intentions but never quite get around to doing something about it.

Some companies just send me things ranging from a press kit or a panty liner (that was yesterday) to an HD Flip cam or custom bicycle. Sometimes I don’t even know who sent it or why (flip cam two days ago). Sometimes I really don’t know what to do with something (a metal lunchbox from The Pork Board).

Occasionally, I am genuinely astonished at the request. One company asked me to take shipment of an appliance, test it, send results to a lab to demonstrate efficacy, blog about it in detail, and then SHIP IT BACK when I was done. I called up the contact person and asked if that was really the pitch. Who on earth would take an appliance, do a whole lot of scientific analysis, ship the thing back, and be grateful for the opportunity? The contact broke up laughing, saying that personally she was with me, but that her company won’t authorize a giveaway of that size, and understood when I declined to put that much effort into unpaid work. We parted on good terms, and I hope she let the client know that their strategy was of the kind that we bloggers tell each other about when swapping stories, and they do NOT want to be on the “Can-you-believe-this-BS?” circuit.

Many things sit in the Pile of Goods next to my desk, which sits next to the Pile of Books sent to me for review or mention (that backlog is about fifty. When am I going to read and talk about fifty books?) I don’t get paid for all that time, and since blogging is a labor of love, I have to spend my time at my paying job, because like many bloggers, I have a family to feed. In my case, I’m a single mom of three, which makes me a great PR target, but also guarantees that my time is at a premium. The irony.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you should curb your outreach; when the product is something a friend might use, I’ll give it away and let that person’s word of mouth campaign suffice. They are usually so excited to receive something useful for free that they tell everyone they run into, and that is fantastic real life buzz and promotion that simply can’t be bought.

Believe me, I stress out about it. Notice that I’m typing this at 3:48 a.m.? I feel bad for the unanswered contacts. I feel bad for the products that come that have no chance whatsoever of a mention. I hope that folks understand, and say so on my contact page so that everyone knows ahead of time that I’m crazed and busy, but open to new ideas and products. By the way, that’s your target demographic in a nutshell. Whee!

There are times when I do the math and wish that some of the cash that went into the effort could have come to me, but then again I have a policy of not taking money for reviews. Advertisers who purchase space in my sidebars can say what they like, and I will continue doing my thing in the body. There is a definite demarcation between the two, and they do not mix. The Site of the Day is a compromise but still subject to my personal preference.

I’ll offer advice if you like, and will happily vet any outreach strategy, and will happily accept a consulting fee but not be part of the outreach. That seems to be the stance with the most ethical integrity. I can help craft it or I can review it, but not both. And there’s a very good chance that many excellent PR efforts will fail at my doorstep simply because I have no idea what to do with the product, or simply do not have the time to devote to pro bono advertising for businesses.

I’m interested in hearing others’ opinions on this, and on the video suggesting setting up a “review” blog apart from the original. Going over to view it now, but I think I can safely say that I would not be inclined to do that. A blog is enough work; why double it when you can just accept advertising in the sidebars that doesn’t influence content? I just don’t see the ROI there. What am I missing? What would you do?