TheMommyBlog

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 Internet

In the immortal words of Chris Rock, who said that as a FATHER he knows his relationship with his new daughter will affect her relationship with men for the rest of her life. “So my number one job is to keep her off the pole.” “We don’t grade fathers,” says Rock, “but if your daughter’s a stripper you f[messed].”

STOP, indeed. This girl looked hot in her Dorothy costume, and could pull it off in maybe 2015. I tried to peg her age at about fourteen, but her friends looked more like eleven or twelve. Good Lord.

Here are our G-rated pics.

Monday, October 24, 2005 Internet

Always smell the milk before you pour your cereal.

Sunday, August 28, 2005 Internet

I have no idea how old Lisa of Glimpse of a Grrl is, but it’s a lot older than she was yesterday. Go on over and wish her a Happy Birthday!

She’s packing up her kitchen on preparation for her move to another state, so she could probably use a joke or two to make it more entertaining. Y’all don’t know any jokes, do you?

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 Internet

The U.S. presidential election is EXACTLY six weeks from today. Are you registered to vote yet? If not, then why not?

FOUR sites to get you to register to vote, and to get your friends to register, too:

Just Vote.

Federal Election Commission.

Rock the Vote.

Declare Yourself - Register to Vote. They’re trying to get 1 million signatures, and so far are only at the halfway mark.

Please register, and tell your friends to register. No matter what your party affiliation, it all means nothing without the participation of our citizens.

Register today.

And then VOTE.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004 Internet

Is she serious?  Mindy has left her blog open for all the world to fondle takeover blog on? Poor sweetie must’ve lost her mind! 

Jenn here.  How about we play a Mommy Blog friendly game.  Stealing a game from our well loved Kathy Howe.  Let’s play a game of Rhyming ABC’s.

What are rhyming ABC’s?  I’m glad you asked.  Here’s what you do. I’ll start with the letters A & B and build them into a two line rhyme. Then it is your turn to take the next two letters and build them into a rhyme and so on and so on until we get to the letter Z.  (Here is an example.)

How about the ABC’s of why we love The Mommy Blog.  Just add yours in the comments.

Ready?

A is for Asking guest bloggers to come over and play
B is for the Blogging talent Mindy shows every day

Next.....

Thursday, June 24, 2004 Internet, Weblogs

I have experienced some extremely geeky moments since joining the blog commmunity, but today has to top them all.

First of all, many of us have been anticipating the birth of Lee’s daughter, Jayne--so much so that we have been leaving comments, voting on her name, and stalking poor Daddy on IM.

Then, today at the Smackdown, we wrote haikus about it.

And then, I noticed Lee come online and pounced on him on IM. Amber got there at the same time, and we had a three-way chat from the delivery room. I won’t spoil the newsy bits about the birth… but I have to say that I nearly crawled into the monitor out of sheer joy. I could not believe how exciting it was to be able to send messages to Lee and Mary before the baby was more than an hour old!

And then, the ultimate geek moment: Lee sent us a pic via IM, and I downloaded it. Amber couldn’t open hers right away, so I asked her to turn on her web cam, and voila! She was able to see the pic Lee sent from the hospital in Denver, CO, displayed on my monitor in Los Altos, CA, via webcam in Brussels, Belgium.

I thankyew. Geeks rule.

Saturday, June 12, 2004 Internet

I have this friend. A friend I admire very much. I have been amazed at this person’s ability to embrace a philosophy and a lifestyle (and by that I mean the most astonishingly eclectic and whimsical mixture of such), make it personal, live it, love it, share it, and do so with such gusto.

As much as I have learned from and about this friend, I never quite grasped the extent to which this philosophy invaded that life, and how worthy it was of emulation until I read this collection of sayings by Lazarus Long, a fictitious alter ego of author Robert Helnlein.

Call me kooky, but I am a fool for common sense.

Sunday, May 09, 2004 Internet

Let me take this opportunity to be the [insert number here]st/th person to wish all of you mommies out there a fantabulous, tamponistically un-shitacular, wackaliciously festive and/or restful Mother’s Day!!!

I had a snarky video clip all cued up for the occasion--about a new medicine for hyper children: dope ‘em up and all you have to do is check their breathing and/or poke ‘em with a stick now and then--but MT says the file is too big. I have a suspicion that the Sappy Mother’s Day Cherub Police just didn’t want me to soil the day.

Damn.

Instead, (sigh) I am posting a much nicer tribute to mothers by Erma Bombeck, one of the few celebrity mothers I would ever really want to hang out with…

Wednesday, April 28, 2004 Internet

Hey Mindy? That comment over on Genuine’s blog about not coming back? Not funny.

Monday, April 26, 2004 Internet

There is a great debate among the women in my office. I know exactly how it got started, and in a week or so, you may just find out. I am subject to this debate because I haven’t mastered the fingers in my ears singing, “lalalalalalala!” and my office door refuses to close. “You haven’t mastered the finger thing?”, you ask. Sadly, no. For some reason, when my fingers go in my ears I have to stop and think, “what the heck IS that? Why didn’t the Q-tip™ catch that? I wonder if I could roll that into a ball and flick it at someone? Wait, let me smell it”. TMI? Sorry, I digress.

Why women obsess about this kind of stuff is beyond me. I don’t understand it. Men don’t do this (yeah, right). I must keep in touch with my feminine side because, after all, this is a girlie prissy womany mommy site. So, I’d thought I’d share and get your input. It’ll be as if you’re sitting in my office - without the hazards of smelling me, having coffee spilled on you or viewing all the boring engineering documents that clutter my desk.

So tell me, who’s sexier: (1) old Sean or (b) young Sean?

‹ close

Friday, April 16, 2004 Internet

If I get nothing else done this weekend, I plan to see Kill Bill, Volume 2. The first movie ROCKED, and I have been waiting impatiently for this one to come out. We are having a little trouble finding a babysitter, but if necessary, we will take turns going alone!

What are YOU doing this weekend?

Monday, March 29, 2004 Internet

I promised a friend earlier today to post my killer Caesar salad recipe, and once I found it, I realized it wasn’t mine after all (which is a relief because I didn’t remember authoring a cookbook). This one is from The Surreal Gourmet: Real Food for Pretend Chefs, one of my favorite cookbooks, if only for the whimsical illustrations and Adventure Club tips.

If you are European, just double the garlic. In fact, double it on principle. You can never have too much, in my opinion.

Thursday, March 11, 2004 Internet

You know what’s funny? Not funny ha-ha, or funny in any sense of the word that I can laugh at, but still funny? Put me in a room with three destructive, energetic children and any variety of surfaces and substances, and I can handle any resulting mess blindfolded and with one arm tied behind my back. Put me in a corporate kitchen, however, with a coffee filter full of fresh grounds spilled all over the slate floor, and suddenly I’m Mrs. Wiggins from a Carol Burnett episode, prancing around like an idiot, with no clue how to go about cleaning it up before Tim Conway comes in and rips me a new one.

I opened every cupboard (bottled water, bottled water, bottled water, hmmm, don’t we have a multi-million dollar Conservation and Science program here?), Tupperware, tin foil (should I construct a makeshift leafblower and blow all of the grounds into a pile a la SpongeBob?), sharp knifes (make a note for that later), and paper towels. Huh. You mean they don’t keep brooms or dustpans around for stuff like this?

I fumbled my way to the the supply room, rifled the cupboard there, grabbed some hot-pink copy paper and some paper towels, and spent like 15 minutes sweeping grounds into my flimsy, faulty little makeshift dustpan. Did I mention that these were decaffeinated coffee grounds? My leaded ambrosia was percolating away, but I was trying to be a good citizen here.  What’s that you say? Janitorial? Workplaces services? Dude, it’s not even 8 yet and I can barely peel my eyelids open wide enough to find the kitchen, and I’m the first one here.

P.S. I just went to collect my first cup and the Workplace Services guy was just arriving to straighten up for the day…

Wednesday, March 10, 2004 Internet

This is for Kimberly, who can give it to Tiberius, who is whisking her to Denver later this year… I found it through Womanchild, who found it through Piehole… and that does not sound right.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004 Internet

100 Most Often Mispronounced Words and Phrases in English

I genuinely did not know that I was getting this one all wrong:

Don’t say: persnickety
Do say: pernickety
You may think us too pernickety to even mention this one. It is a Scottish nonce word to which U.S. speakers have added a spurious [s].

I also have to cop to this one:

Don’t say: spitting image
Do say: spit and image
The very spit of someone is an exact likeness. “The spit and image” or “spit image” emphasizes the exactness.

Other than that, I came out of this one feeling quite pleased with my habits (as well I should, having been raised by an English prof)! Mom, you done good.