TheMommyBlog

Friday, June 26, 2009 Me, Me, Me

I’d have to say it’s the little love notes I find on my screen when I log in every morning:

Oh there you are you dirty cow you

Yes, I’m here. Stop that. *snort*

Friday, June 12, 2009 Me, Me, Me

Man, my heart is going like a trip-hammer. Half a block from here I was nearly sandwiched between a parked car and a truck trying to get into my lane without looking. SCREEE!

I had just been thinking that my car is embarrassingly dirty (that was going to be one of the first Camp Roberts activities: Car Wash!) and that it’s really not enough to just clean my windshield, there’s a point when it’s a matter of hygiene, and then I nearly threw up my lunch when this guy lurched into me. I managed to drop back and avoid damaging both sides of my car and wondered, is this the automotive equivalent of being in an accident and not wearing clean underwear?

Friday, June 12, 2009 Me, Me, Me

I’m legally changing my name to Midny. Or Minfy. I cannot, cannot, cannot type that correctly—at speed—the first time, ever.

Friday, April 03, 2009 Me, Me, Me, News

CBS came by to interview me about the FTC (never saw THAT coming, did you? Any of you. Admit it.) and their potential ruling to make bloggers responsible for what they pitch. REALLY? Well, then. Those with integrity have nothing to worry about!

Simon’s a doll. I must have yammered for thirty minutes and he was so patient. Loved the camera man - almost had to duck to get into the house.

Feds May Make Bloggers Liable In Reviews

The Federal Trade Commission is thinking about changing the law so bloggers who exaggerate the benefits or flaws of a product could be liable or sued. Simon Perez reports.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Other places I write

I’ve been playing around with Wordpress themes for about a hundredy years now, and made some cute birthday themes people could use as an alternative to paper or evite. They are totally free, did I mention that? It’s in Beta, so don’t kill me if something goes wonky. You get what you pay for.

Show me the Wonderbelly Designs Free Wordpress Birthday Themes!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Family, Momversation

You would not believe the shenanigans going on in my daughter’s room. (Btw, that sounds SO WRONG.) The Oprah Winfrey Show sent me a studio-in-a-suitcase for me to set up and use on my appearance tomorrow. The show is filmed in sweet home Chicago, so subtract two hours for the time difference, one hour on standby, and one hour to get up and eat and get gussied up… looks like I’ll be up at the crack of Hell. Five a.m.

I just realized that we spent a lot of time talking about the lighting, and I was all, “Oh don’t worry, this side of the house gets all the morning sun, so we’re good.” Nice move, Swifty, the time change makes it even darker at six o’clock now, and judging by how it looks out there now, at seven, all I’ll have is the glint off the frosty grass.

I’m a little nervous filming in a different room after months of perfecting a setup in my living room for momversation.com, but in a stroke of genius seven years ago we installed the only DSL jack behind my daughter’s bed. In all fairness, it was an office then, but still. I never had a problem with it because I have a wireless network, but I need to be plugged in for Oprah. So I cleaned off her dresser and made sure none of her treasures are visible in the background, and police-taped the room until the kids go to dad’s tonight.

The topic is “Real Moms Confess” and there will be several moms Skyping in with me, some on the set, and we’ve also sent in taped bits that on reflection might be really funny for the audience at home, and still funny for me, but what was I thinking when I told the story of the nurses digging in the trash for evidence of amniotic fluid when I went into labor with my son?

Anyway, tune in tomorrow! I’m so excited I could pee. In fact, I think I will! And then the kids need to be dragged out of bed for the extra-early, Spring-Forward School Run.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Family, Momversation

i’m going to type in all lower-case because i’m still hung over, mkay?

week has been exhausting, kids are on break, phil had a birthday yesterday and we are both wrecked from it. i don’t have the energy to type it out but it involved this and this and most of this.

oh and there was a new momversation.com episode the other day on keeping a marriage fresh. strange, i wasn’t asked to weigh in on that one.

Friday, January 30, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Bad Mood Dude

(Props to Dorothy Parker for my favorite quote of all time.) (Sorry I messed with it.)

Just now? In band camp? I was waiting to pick up the third child at school, and picked up a playdate for one of the others while we were waiting. His mom and I got chatting, and I asked her what she did, she told me, and we talked about her job. Then we talked for like ten more minutes, max, when I perked up and asked, “So, what do you do?” DORK. Momnesiac. I’m going to have that tattooed on my forehead.

And then a little while ago? In the garage? I asked my son’s friend what his parent’s names were so I could put them in the address book, and in the fifteen feet between the door and my desk, I had forgotten his mother’s name. I think I know, but am not confident enough to try it out. Fortunately, she seems to be my kind of cool, so if I open the door and say, “I have no idea what your name is,” she’ll most likely respond with, “Do I know you?”

And then I’ll get us a glass of wine.

Earlier, Pink SunDrops said,

“Aw, I wish there had been a lot more moms on this one to mention ways to conquer Momnesia, especially you Mindy! I definitely think it has something to do with keeping all the balls in the air, as well as the elephant in the room, the fact that we are not running one life, we’re running two, three, or more.

You know, I thought the same thing, but I tend to record longer videos than the others, and I probably wouldn’t have been able to do a take in under ten minutes (they usually want three, four tops. I usually do seven.). On this subject, I’d have gone down a million sidetracks. Don’t ask me to remember which ones.

I have had momnesia since 1997. Riddle me this: How long do you have something before it just becomes part of who you are, rather than a temporary condition? I asked this and other questions of my shrink yesterday when I finally went to see him for the first time since September 1997. 1997?? Come again? How could I have forgotten to make an appointment for that long? I’ve been having the momnesia condition-to-trait transition conversation with him for a long time. Every time I see him and ask when we could move toward weaning me off these meds, well, first, he chuckles. Then I laugh. Then I cry. Every single time, he says, “It’s not a good time. There’s a lot going on right now.” Well, when ISN’T there a lot going on? Isn’t this normal? I mean, I’ve been loopy for a decade, people.

No one, including my shrink, thinks I am bringing this on myself, or that my need for chemical assistance is self-perpetuated. We’re all just waiting for this years-long shitstorm to pass. In the meantime, I’m not enjoying the effects although they are a hell of a lot better than the effects of NOT having the assistance.

Actual snippets from yesterday’s conversation that incidentally, occur on nearly every visit:

“How’s it going?”

“Well, just had my first mammogram, and it needed extra scrutiny—loads of fun right out of the chute, but everything is fine. Still unemployed, have been since May. Ex has been unemployed since July. No child support. Car keeps breaking down. Just got an ER bill for three grand for stitches—can’t pay that, it’s going to collections. Oh, and we put our fifteen year old dog to sleep over the weekend. Kids are a handful, and taking it very hard. I feel like a hub, and everyone else is a spoke. Everything comes through me and it’s overwhelming.”

“Hoookay. Still taking everything?”

“Yes, anxiety is still high, but I don’t want to take the medication. I know you said I could always take another pill if it’s bad, but the one and a half already makes me dopey. Plus, what are they made of, titanium? Do you know that breaking those anxiety pills in half is EXTREMELY STRESSFUL?”

“Okay, we should be sure you’re on X dose for the other one. You’re there, right?”

“I don’t think so, when did we do that? No, I’m sure it’s half that.” Of course, when I got home I realized that he was right, and has been for over a year. How could I miss that? Also? We thought we were trying something new and that we should see an improvement but since I’m already at that dose? Not much so much with the improvement..

“Well, I’ll come back in three weeks. In the meantime, my cognition sucks. I can’t remember things, I get distracted,  I’m tired, I have trouble juggling the million things I need to do. For years we haven’t been able to separate normal momnesia from depression, and we still can’t. What’s up with that? Why am I still unable to focus? I used to be a friggin’ genius.”

“It’s the anti-depressants.”

“Well, it’s depressing.”

Saturday, January 10, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Family

1. Tow car from kindergarten parking lot. Have been occupying prime spot there for two days with non-starting, yet newly refurbished 11-year-old car. Stupid car.
2. Remember to get AAA or similar. Cannot afford towing. Stupid repair shop policy.
3. Buy lots of Draino. Yes, thank you. It’s a problem.
4. Stop using heat and electricity. The bill came yesterday and it rivals the food bill.
5. Teach daughter to build campfires in the backyard so she can indulge her sitting-in-front-of-blasting-hot-air fetish.
6. Find pressure washer and hose out shed to remove rat skeletons, poop, and stench. Time for it to be functional again.
7. Move 20 cubic feet of gardening supplies, snail bait, fertilizer, and implements back into shed and off patio.
8. Enjoy patio.
9. CALL 1-800-GOT JUNK NOW, WOMAN.
10. Stop playing on Wordle!
11. Negotiate Wii time with kids so can continue world tour. Figure out how to combine two accounts or how to use the same one every time so you can actually track progress on more than one instrument.
12. Curb time spent on Wii, unless it is Wii Fit.
13. Place supply of robes, slippers, blankets, gloves in garage/play room. See #4.
14. Strip beds and do laundry. Actually put away some of it.
15. Pray that if I don’t look at my account, it won’t be overdrawn.
16. Mail unemployment claim.
17. Sit tight.
18. Cross your fingers and spit in your hat.

Monday, January 05, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Wonderbelly

It’s always satisfying to see a design of yours online… and the latest Wonderbelly Design is on The Diaper Duty Diary!

Melissa wanted a bright, diaper-y banner to boost her look, and she picked a great background to go with it. I love doing little makeovers like this! If anyone’s in the market for a touch up or new design, give me a holler!

Friday, January 02, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Fun, Family

Get yourself a nice boyfriend and a wii and play Rock Star for four straight hours. The last hour, I was on drums, and boy are my arms tired.

It’s much harder than it sounds, and oh, how I wish we had real cymbals. The bad news is that the kids will be super frustrated with it because you have to read and be able to monitor several areas of the screen at once. Sort of second nature to a couple of computer geeks, but my daughter will be pouting for months.

We left on a high note—scored 91%—after we played “I’m Paranoid” by Garbage seven hundred times. The ratings were soooo funny. Whenever we messed up it made this guitar twang sound and the screen blinked FAILED. I was all, dude, we fell off the stage. I’m going to have shin splints in one leg from the foot pedal in the morning.

My favorite part was glancing down at the aftermath on the coffee table: a tin of Peppermint Bark, an empty bottle of champagne, a hammer (for the bark), Phil’s stocking, drumsticks, a microphone, and the instruction manual.

And a big Ted Nugent THANK YOOOO shout out to my brother for giving us the loudest, most distracting gift this year. Last year it was an Optimus Prime talking helmet and the year before, The Thing hands and feet.

Friday, December 12, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Family, Momversation

I, like Asha over at ParentHacks.com, am having kittens over the interview CNN asked us to do. I mean, gee, was I free Saturday night? DUH.

Apparently the producers over at CNN loved the Momversation episode on talking with kids about the economy, and want to talk with us about it. It will air with an anchor at 8:30 p.m. PST on Saturday night. So, if you need me between now and then, I’ll be peeing myself.

Breaking News: I was just chatting with Deca.tv’s producer about the setup for tonight when he said, “...And wear your hair down, because that’s always pretty…”

“WHAT? Is this on camera? I thought I was going to Skype in!”

HOLEEEE COW. Good thing I didn’t go get a haircut this afternoon - lord knows how that might have turned out. Okay, people, I need your help? What to wear?

Wednesday, December 03, 2008 Me, Me, Me

CNN called today on a hunt for interviews with moms who are out of work in the downturn and are struggling to feed families and hang onto houses. After about three questions they were all, “Well, based on your location this isn’t going to work, but I am sorry for your troubles.”

Wtf? I can’t even meet the requirements for newsworthy failure. Didn’t see that coming.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008 Me, Me, Me

Just so no one can say I don’t print the negative comments, here’s one fresh from my inbox:

All I can say is…wow. Self-absorption is built in to the very fabric of mommy blogs, but you take it to new heights. I was trying to figure out if your incessant bragging about yourself and how smart and wonderful everyone thinks you are comes from arrogance, or if it’s coming from a place of insecurity. On a more positive note, you have very cute and nice children. —Dorothy Gainer

I responded, as she had a point.

It comes from having to feed my family. I would have abandoned this thing a long time ago if it hadn’t suddenly started attracting advertisers. That is what buys groceries here. Until I find something else that pays better, this is what I am expected to do. I have no other source of income.

That said, I can see your point. It’s the nature of journals, but I put an exaggerated spin on things, and I can see how you could come to that conclusion. I think, though, that if you actually read anything older than a year you’d see how miserably I was failing at everything I did, and I was honest about it. That’s why others identify, not so much for the newer stuff. At least half of my readers have been reading for five or more years, and they know the real me from that.

Thanks for the reality check, though. I need them like everyone else does.

Best,

Mindy

By the way, I just passed 7.1 million page hits since I switched hosts in 2005. That’s what I mean - this is now my job. I love it, don’t get me wrong, but I do get sick of myself, just like everyone else does.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Other people who write

Natural childbirth or C-section? It’s a popular question, but Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom wonders: What’s with all the judgment around a mom’s childbirth choices? Watch what the ladies of Momversation say, and tell us what you think. Is there a “right” or “normal” way to have a baby? And what’s the best way to deal with the judgment? Let us know what your experience was by leaving a comment here and checking out our related forums:

• Is it important to mothers to experience natural childbirth?
• Should I get a doula?

Panelists: Asha Dornfest of Parent Hacks, Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom, Mindy Roberts of The Mommy Blog, Rebecca Woolf of Girl’s Gone Child.