TheMommyBlog

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Family, Momversation

i’m going to type in all lower-case because i’m still hung over, mkay?

week has been exhausting, kids are on break, phil had a birthday yesterday and we are both wrecked from it. i don’t have the energy to type it out but it involved this and this and most of this.

oh and there was a new momversation.com episode the other day on keeping a marriage fresh. strange, i wasn’t asked to weigh in on that one.

Friday, January 30, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Bad Mood Dude

(Props to Dorothy Parker for my favorite quote of all time.) (Sorry I messed with it.)

Just now? In band camp? I was waiting to pick up the third child at school, and picked up a playdate for one of the others while we were waiting. His mom and I got chatting, and I asked her what she did, she told me, and we talked about her job. Then we talked for like ten more minutes, max, when I perked up and asked, “So, what do you do?” DORK. Momnesiac. I’m going to have that tattooed on my forehead.

And then a little while ago? In the garage? I asked my son’s friend what his parent’s names were so I could put them in the address book, and in the fifteen feet between the door and my desk, I had forgotten his mother’s name. I think I know, but am not confident enough to try it out. Fortunately, she seems to be my kind of cool, so if I open the door and say, “I have no idea what your name is,” she’ll most likely respond with, “Do I know you?”

And then I’ll get us a glass of wine.

Earlier, Pink SunDrops said,

“Aw, I wish there had been a lot more moms on this one to mention ways to conquer Momnesia, especially you Mindy! I definitely think it has something to do with keeping all the balls in the air, as well as the elephant in the room, the fact that we are not running one life, we’re running two, three, or more.

You know, I thought the same thing, but I tend to record longer videos than the others, and I probably wouldn’t have been able to do a take in under ten minutes (they usually want three, four tops. I usually do seven.). On this subject, I’d have gone down a million sidetracks. Don’t ask me to remember which ones.

I have had momnesia since 1997. Riddle me this: How long do you have something before it just becomes part of who you are, rather than a temporary condition? I asked this and other questions of my shrink yesterday when I finally went to see him for the first time since September 1997. 1997?? Come again? How could I have forgotten to make an appointment for that long? I’ve been having the momnesia condition-to-trait transition conversation with him for a long time. Every time I see him and ask when we could move toward weaning me off these meds, well, first, he chuckles. Then I laugh. Then I cry. Every single time, he says, “It’s not a good time. There’s a lot going on right now.” Well, when ISN’T there a lot going on? Isn’t this normal? I mean, I’ve been loopy for a decade, people.

No one, including my shrink, thinks I am bringing this on myself, or that my need for chemical assistance is self-perpetuated. We’re all just waiting for this years-long shitstorm to pass. In the meantime, I’m not enjoying the effects although they are a hell of a lot better than the effects of NOT having the assistance.

Actual snippets from yesterday’s conversation that incidentally, occur on nearly every visit:

“How’s it going?”

“Well, just had my first mammogram, and it needed extra scrutiny—loads of fun right out of the chute, but everything is fine. Still unemployed, have been since May. Ex has been unemployed since July. No child support. Car keeps breaking down. Just got an ER bill for three grand for stitches—can’t pay that, it’s going to collections. Oh, and we put our fifteen year old dog to sleep over the weekend. Kids are a handful, and taking it very hard. I feel like a hub, and everyone else is a spoke. Everything comes through me and it’s overwhelming.”

“Hoookay. Still taking everything?”

“Yes, anxiety is still high, but I don’t want to take the medication. I know you said I could always take another pill if it’s bad, but the one and a half already makes me dopey. Plus, what are they made of, titanium? Do you know that breaking those anxiety pills in half is EXTREMELY STRESSFUL?”

“Okay, we should be sure you’re on X dose for the other one. You’re there, right?”

“I don’t think so, when did we do that? No, I’m sure it’s half that.” Of course, when I got home I realized that he was right, and has been for over a year. How could I miss that? Also? We thought we were trying something new and that we should see an improvement but since I’m already at that dose? Not much so much with the improvement..

“Well, I’ll come back in three weeks. In the meantime, my cognition sucks. I can’t remember things, I get distracted,  I’m tired, I have trouble juggling the million things I need to do. For years we haven’t been able to separate normal momnesia from depression, and we still can’t. What’s up with that? Why am I still unable to focus? I used to be a friggin’ genius.”

“It’s the anti-depressants.”

“Well, it’s depressing.”

Saturday, January 10, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Family

1. Tow car from kindergarten parking lot. Have been occupying prime spot there for two days with non-starting, yet newly refurbished 11-year-old car. Stupid car.
2. Remember to get AAA or similar. Cannot afford towing. Stupid repair shop policy.
3. Buy lots of Draino. Yes, thank you. It’s a problem.
4. Stop using heat and electricity. The bill came yesterday and it rivals the food bill.
5. Teach daughter to build campfires in the backyard so she can indulge her sitting-in-front-of-blasting-hot-air fetish.
6. Find pressure washer and hose out shed to remove rat skeletons, poop, and stench. Time for it to be functional again.
7. Move 20 cubic feet of gardening supplies, snail bait, fertilizer, and implements back into shed and off patio.
8. Enjoy patio.
9. CALL 1-800-GOT JUNK NOW, WOMAN.
10. Stop playing on Wordle!
11. Negotiate Wii time with kids so can continue world tour. Figure out how to combine two accounts or how to use the same one every time so you can actually track progress on more than one instrument.
12. Curb time spent on Wii, unless it is Wii Fit.
13. Place supply of robes, slippers, blankets, gloves in garage/play room. See #4.
14. Strip beds and do laundry. Actually put away some of it.
15. Pray that if I don’t look at my account, it won’t be overdrawn.
16. Mail unemployment claim.
17. Sit tight.
18. Cross your fingers and spit in your hat.

Monday, January 05, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Wonderbelly

It’s always satisfying to see a design of yours online… and the latest Wonderbelly Design is on The Diaper Duty Diary!

Melissa wanted a bright, diaper-y banner to boost her look, and she picked a great background to go with it. I love doing little makeovers like this! If anyone’s in the market for a touch up or new design, give me a holler!

Friday, January 02, 2009 Me, Me, Me, Fun, Family

Get yourself a nice boyfriend and a wii and play Rock Star for four straight hours. The last hour, I was on drums, and boy are my arms tired.

It’s much harder than it sounds, and oh, how I wish we had real cymbals. The bad news is that the kids will be super frustrated with it because you have to read and be able to monitor several areas of the screen at once. Sort of second nature to a couple of computer geeks, but my daughter will be pouting for months.

We left on a high note—scored 91%—after we played “I’m Paranoid” by Garbage seven hundred times. The ratings were soooo funny. Whenever we messed up it made this guitar twang sound and the screen blinked FAILED. I was all, dude, we fell off the stage. I’m going to have shin splints in one leg from the foot pedal in the morning.

My favorite part was glancing down at the aftermath on the coffee table: a tin of Peppermint Bark, an empty bottle of champagne, a hammer (for the bark), Phil’s stocking, drumsticks, a microphone, and the instruction manual.

And a big Ted Nugent THANK YOOOO shout out to my brother for giving us the loudest, most distracting gift this year. Last year it was an Optimus Prime talking helmet and the year before, The Thing hands and feet.

Friday, December 12, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Family, Momversation

I, like Asha over at ParentHacks.com, am having kittens over the interview CNN asked us to do. I mean, gee, was I free Saturday night? DUH.

Apparently the producers over at CNN loved the Momversation episode on talking with kids about the economy, and want to talk with us about it. It will air with an anchor at 8:30 p.m. PST on Saturday night. So, if you need me between now and then, I’ll be peeing myself.

Breaking News: I was just chatting with Deca.tv’s producer about the setup for tonight when he said, “...And wear your hair down, because that’s always pretty…”

“WHAT? Is this on camera? I thought I was going to Skype in!”

HOLEEEE COW. Good thing I didn’t go get a haircut this afternoon - lord knows how that might have turned out. Okay, people, I need your help? What to wear?

Wednesday, December 03, 2008 Me, Me, Me

CNN called today on a hunt for interviews with moms who are out of work in the downturn and are struggling to feed families and hang onto houses. After about three questions they were all, “Well, based on your location this isn’t going to work, but I am sorry for your troubles.”

Wtf? I can’t even meet the requirements for newsworthy failure. Didn’t see that coming.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008 Me, Me, Me

Just so no one can say I don’t print the negative comments, here’s one fresh from my inbox:

All I can say is…wow. Self-absorption is built in to the very fabric of mommy blogs, but you take it to new heights. I was trying to figure out if your incessant bragging about yourself and how smart and wonderful everyone thinks you are comes from arrogance, or if it’s coming from a place of insecurity. On a more positive note, you have very cute and nice children. —Dorothy Gainer

I responded, as she had a point.

It comes from having to feed my family. I would have abandoned this thing a long time ago if it hadn’t suddenly started attracting advertisers. That is what buys groceries here. Until I find something else that pays better, this is what I am expected to do. I have no other source of income.

That said, I can see your point. It’s the nature of journals, but I put an exaggerated spin on things, and I can see how you could come to that conclusion. I think, though, that if you actually read anything older than a year you’d see how miserably I was failing at everything I did, and I was honest about it. That’s why others identify, not so much for the newer stuff. At least half of my readers have been reading for five or more years, and they know the real me from that.

Thanks for the reality check, though. I need them like everyone else does.

Best,

Mindy

By the way, I just passed 7.1 million page hits since I switched hosts in 2005. That’s what I mean - this is now my job. I love it, don’t get me wrong, but I do get sick of myself, just like everyone else does.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Other people who write

Natural childbirth or C-section? It’s a popular question, but Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom wonders: What’s with all the judgment around a mom’s childbirth choices? Watch what the ladies of Momversation say, and tell us what you think. Is there a “right” or “normal” way to have a baby? And what’s the best way to deal with the judgment? Let us know what your experience was by leaving a comment here and checking out our related forums:

• Is it important to mothers to experience natural childbirth?
• Should I get a doula?

Panelists: Asha Dornfest of Parent Hacks, Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom, Mindy Roberts of The Mommy Blog, Rebecca Woolf of Girl’s Gone Child.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Bad Mood Dude

I just gave myself a black eye with the shop vac.

No, really.

I was putting it away when I bent to set it down and the attachment tube went BAM into my eye socket. I expect I’ll look like Petey from Little Rascals by dinnertime.

Saturday, November 08, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Fun

Read on for a Joe’s Jeans giveaway… it’s dead easy to win a pair of $200 designer jeans! Just send me a photo as described in the instructions!

Friday, November 07, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Other people who write

My first episode is up at Momversation!

Making new friends can be really hard after you have kids, but blogs and social networks can help moms keep in touch and meet new friends online. Asha Dornfest of Parent Hacks wants to know: Are your online friends as important as your real friends? Post your comment below and check out our related forums:

  * How do you keep things fresh in friendships that you have both online and offline?
  * How do you balance your time online and offline?

Monday, November 03, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Fellow Parenting Authors

Momversation - see what all the blogging’s about!
On November 3, take a peek at the brand-new site, Momversation.com, and be among the first moms to see some of the web’s most recognizable and outspoken mom-bloggers in a new video show.

That’s right—y’all aren’t going to BELIEVE what I’ve been up to with seven other mom bloggers. We’ve been creating Momversation.

Momversation is a video show and website that brings together the web’s most outspoken mom-bloggers to discuss topics and share their thoughts. The format is unique because the cast of women aren’t in the same room together. Instead, all the material is shot by the panelists in their spare time in their own homes.

Because GOD KNOWS what would happen if we were all in the same room together. This is the only way to separate the voice tracks, I’m sure. But could you see us? (Heather’s family might pull a gun, for Pete’s sake. It’s a surprise, so don’t ask.)

The fun part (to watch, not have to figure out for yourself) is seeing where we have to go to film ourselves in our homes. It ain’t easy. Let’s just say that attempted locations include offices, bedrooms, kitchens, garages, bathrooms (this works), living rooms, and in one failed attempt, a hotel room across from a construction site. My bad.

Momversation is hosted by a rotating cast of 8 hot, mouthy, sage, and influential mom-bloggers including:

• Heather Armstrong of dooce
• Alice Bradley of Finslippy
• Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom (Fun fact: I used to listen to her on Dr. Dean Edell’s show, and it cinched the choice of my daughter’s name!)
• Asha Dornfest of Parent Hacks
• Nataly Kogan of Work It, Mom!
• Maggie Mason of Mighty Girl
• Mindy Roberts of The Mommy Blog
• Rebecca Woolf of Girl’s Gone Child

Everyone can also “join the momversation” by posting comments and starting their own discussion topics in the Momversation forums.

Momversation videos will also be featured 3x a week on Yahoo! Shine in their Parenting section.

Oh, and don’t forget to sign up for the Momversation newsletter so you can see us having awkward moments talking to ourselves with a tiny camera and no script.

Sunday, November 02, 2008 Me, Me, Me

The F-Word Diet.

Thursday, October 30, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Bad Mood Dude, Family

Hi there, buddy. Long time.

Hey, I wonder if you wouldn’t mind doing us a favor? Could you not coincide with the first day of rainy season every freaking year? I don’t know what kind of deal you made with Old Man Weather, but it’s not winning either of you any popularity contests down here. Seriously, it’s bumming me out to put raincoats over my kids’ costumes and huddle under an umbrella while they splash through puddles going from house to house to house.

Not to mention the small lake that collects in the foyer from opening the door a frazillion times for kids who shake their dripping bags at you and hold them there, waiting to see if you might throw in an extra Snickers.

Also? It’s cold. I know it’s not as bad as Chicago—I remember all too well the chill and the roving gangs of egg-and-shaving-cream-wielding punks. We knew the snow was coming, but somehow it was easier to trick or treat in snow, you know? It didn’t soak through and stain your underwear Superman red, and actually looked kinda cool in the streetlights. Besides, in a city like that, you always had the option of doing all your trick or treating in a high rise. Yep, that was pure Halloween gold. My friend lived in a thirty-floor building, and we’d work that elevator like a barn animal until we couldn’t haul our bags around any more. We never once ran out of floors.

So, dude, I’m looking out that window and see you’re warming up, sending those first few sprinkles to get us ready. Do us a solid and don’t ruin the children’s Halloween parades tomorrow, mmkay? All that does is drench the costumes and make getting dressed that evening harder than putting a wetsuit on a cranky octopus. People don’t even like cold, wet swimsuits, not to mention treasured costumes with cheap accessories falling off and dye running down their legs.

Looking forward to tomorrow, however it shakes out. Don’t get me wrong, man, we love the way you lay down your thing and we look forward to you every year, but for once, you know, once in a while, we don’t want to end up with six pair of soaking wet shoes lined up in the hall.

Thanks, bud, keep it real,

The Roberts Family