The Mommy Blog | Adventures from the Wonderbelly of Motherhood

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

North Palm Beach, Florida. January 9, 2008: divorce360.com commissioned a GFK Roper poll on divorce to learn more about the causes for divorce.

Women divorce over abuse, men divorce over sex:

The number one reason people gave for divorce is abuse. More than one in three (36%) divorced Americans cited either verbal or physical abuse as the main cause of divorce. Money, at 22%, is a distant second. Other reasons for divorce include someone new entered their life (18%), sex (16%), disagreements about how to raise their children (13%), or boredom (12%) as contributing factors. Only 6% divorced over whether to have children, and just 4% cite religion as a factor.

Gender plays a role in the reasons for divorce:

Women are more than twice as likely as men (48% vs. 21%) to divorce because of verbal or physical abuse. Men, in turn, are more than twice as likely as women (22% vs. 11%) to cite sex as the cause for their failed marriage.

Not divorcing- but thinking about it:

One third, 33%, of married Americans have at some point in their marriage considered the idea of divorce. Two in ten, (19%), cited issues surrounding children, while 18% cite fears about cheating as the primary reasons for thinking about divorce.

Women are significantly more likely than men (39% vs. 27%) to have at least thought about divorce at some point in their marriage. Children are most likely to be the issue, particularly for women. Most notably, women are more than twice as likely as men to think about divorce after their children were born (19% vs. 7%).

“Divorce has become an unfortunate reality”, notes divorce360.com’s CEO, Cotter Cunningham. “It is difficult, painful and complex. We don’t advocate divorce. We do want to help people struggling with it. From making the decision to leave to going to court for custody or alimony, divorce is an emotional, financial and legal rollercoaster. It doesn’t just impact the two people involved. It impacts their children, friends and other family members. The decisions made before, during and after a divorce can touch many lives. Divorce360 strives to offer the essential information needed to help people make educated choices about those important decisions.”

A Small Victory has entered the Case Foundation and Parade Magazine: America’s Giving Challenge. The eight individuals whose “charity badges” attract the most unique donors* through the America’s Giving Challenge will get $50,000 for their cause. And the 100 nonprofits with the greatest number of unique donations* made to them through America’s Giving Challenge will each get $1,000. The entire Challenge is designed to take place online, involving the use of such everyday activities as e-mailing, blogging, and social networking. Anyone can donate to a cause using a valid credit card or other form of payment accepted by our donation processing partners Network for Good and GlobalGiving. The Challenge began December 13 at 3pm EST and will close January 31 at 3pm EST so we have to get going!

*To succeed at the Challenge, the objective is to get as many people as you can to donate to your cause. Duplicate donations from the same individual will only be counted once. This has nothing to do with how much money we raise but has everything to do with the number of supporters we have.

A Small Victory is a non-profit organization in Washington State intended to help create memories for parents who have lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death. Most families have generations to make memories but families that experience these types of loss have only a day or two to create memories
that must last a lifetime. One of the most difficult aspects of grief is feeling regret about what we did or did not do with our children after they were born. A Small Victory hopes the items they provide will prevent bereaved parents from having similar regrets.

A Small Victory donates Loss Kits to local hospitals containing baby blankets, disposable cameras, air-dry clay for hand and feet molds, blank journals, pens, and bereavement information. Selective parts of these kits work well with already existing memory boxes offered at some hospitals.

In addition, A Small Victory is connecting families with peer-to-peer counseling and group support. At the family’s request, A Small Victory will provide a trained volunteer to come to the family’s hospital location to counsel and act as advocate. These volunteers have had losses and are able to help the families in the grieving and decision making processes during and following the family’s loss. They will then connect the families with group support meetings to attend after their hospital stay.

For hospitals that request it, A Small Victory can provide classroom style training for nurses and other medical staff on the importance of these Kits and how to use them.

Loss kits include:

Hand-painted Box
Baby Blanket
hand-made blankets from various volunteers
Gown
Stuffed Animal
Impressions Kit
Disposable Camera
Mailing List Postcard (this postcard sent to the post office and it stops all baby related mail from being delivered to the bereaved family)
Heart Charm
Journal
Certificate of Life (not needed for neonatal loss); currently in the state of Washington birth certificates are unavailable to miscarriages and stillbirths
Wisp Of Hair Card
Baby’s Prints Card
Data Card
Empty Cradle, Broken Heart by Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D.: The number one book that bereaved parents recommend. It encourages grieving and makes suggestions for coping. It has special sections for fathers, pregnancy after a loss, parenting after a loss as well as covering a wide variety of pregnancy and infant loss.
When Hello Means Goodbye by Pat Schwieburt, RN & Paul Kirk, MD: This book helps parents to make better use of the limited time they have with their children. It also discusses reactions from friends and neighbors and the different feelings that accompany grief.
Dear Cheyenne by Joanne Cacciatore-Garard, This book is a journey into grief, a collection of love, faith and miracles, and a celebration of motherhood told through letters and poetry written from one bereaved mother to her stillborn daughter.
Flash of Life by Kara L.C. Jones: The narrative is one family’s experience of pregnancy and stillbirth showing how the death of a child affects a woman, a marriage, a family, and a community.
Mrs. Duck And The Woman by Kara L.C. Jones: A story about the loss of a child and how to start over again after that loss. This book teaches compassion and understanding while making us feel that we are never alone.
Little Footprints by Dorothy Ferguson, This special baby book features a journal for feelings, memorable dates, pictures, lock of hair and a card from caregivers.
Various Pamphlets
Kleenex
Pen

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whew. I never had the chance to do this with my first.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Me, Me, Me, Other people who write, Newsbits, Web/Tech

Exciting news today!

First, BabyCenter.com has announced a partnership with Federated Media, my advertising reps, and the authors in the Parenting Federation. It’s been my dream to be a writer on BabyCenter for ten years - ever since I first started visiting their site with my first of four pregnancies and read “Bringing up Ben” religiously. Eventually, Ben had a little sister, and the feature became “Waiting for Birdie” which may sound familiar to you, as it was recently published as a book. I’m very excited that John Battelle, founder of Federated Media and Tina Sharkey, formerly of AOL and current CEO of BabyCenter.com had the vision to bring us together.

Also! OpenRoad.tv is now showing the segment I filmed with Doug McConnell last week on what I do when not at the keyboard...

Life Outside the Box #4 - Mindy Roberts

estatic

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Me, Me, Me, Newsbits

ABC News: The View from the Bay, aired on Monday, October 1, 2007

Have you ever dreamed of publishing your favorite family recipes or write your own novel? See how easy it is and how you can make a profit off of your creative writing from your own home!
View the ABC Segment

Archive clips expire after 90 days.I received an email from Lulu.com today letting me know that my book was featured on a six and a half minute clip on ABC’s The View from the Bay! Eeeeee! So excited!! Of alllll the books published on Lulu.com, they chose MINE to be one of the five or so they brought to feature!

I watched breathlessly through the first five or so minutes, loving how they showed each book and told a little story or painted some background, especially about the one written by a five year old with her dad. I was so touched. I watched as they slowly made their way to my book, the thickest one there. It was five minutes, fifteen seconds into the segment. On ABC! I was breathless. Mine was next. I leaned closer. They picked up my book and then proceeded to talk about all the help you can get from folks in the Lulu.com community in cover design and layout. You know, if you need help making a really great cover. There I was, mouth hanging open like Mike Wazowski in Monsters, Inc. when he sees himself on a TV commercial and the logo is right over his face.

Anchor: “How do you come up with a cover?”

Beg pardon?

Anchor: “Is that something you come up with on your own?”

I was all, “What?”

Lulu Representative: “You can either design on your own, or we have a marketplace on our website—” Cut to full shot of my book. “where there are graphic designers you can hire—”

“Noooooooooo&mdash”

And then, “We help you market it, we have marketing services, we can teach you how to make a press release.”

“Noooooooooo—”

And finally, “That was Mommy Confidential—what a great title—and we’ve got one more. This is my favorite title, it was my favorite title of all the ones here...”

“That’s it? Aaaaaahhhhhh!” Five minutes, thirty seconds.

I worked for weeks getting that cover just right. There were several brilliant generations of that cover that had to be discarded because of copyright permissions, logistical errors, finally admitting that there were too many inside jokes in the design, and other quirky lessons learned along the way. But it’s a damn good cover, so good that I made covers for other aspiring authors, and started dabbling in graphic design for print and web. I cannot tell you how many great designs I have sitting around my hard drive with no place to go. I have more ideas than practical applications, but boy, is it fun watching something develop into something I’d want my own name on.

I’m of course very excited to have it featured - after all, there are thousands of titles published through Lulu.com, but isn’t that just the way?

[Mike and Sulley watch a commercial featuring them, but Mike is covered over by the Monsters Inc. logo]
Mike: I can’t believe it…
Sulley: Oh, Mike…
Mike: I was on TV. Ha. Did you see me? I’m a natural.

Purchase now on Amazon!

A new book by Melinda Roberts:

Take a woman fresh out of college, plop her down in Silicon Valley, saddle her with a mortgage, let her ride the tech boom, give her three babies in four years, slap her with the tech bust, watch vicariously as her marriage disintegrates, end her career, and hand her a computer. What do you get? Mommy Confidential: Adventures from the Wonderbelly of Motherhood, a memoir in real time adapted from the wildly popular weblog, The Mommy Blog.

“This is like a circus train wreck. It’s horrifying but I can’t seem to avert my eyes and keep from laughing.” – Lee Walinchus

there go my fifteen seconds

Friday, January 05, 2007

Me, Me, Me, Bad Mood Dude, Newsbits

Sorry I had to get fancy there, but honestly: turn that bloody thing off. I’m full.

I haven’t posted here lately because I have nothing and too much to say all at once. Also? I don’t have time to say nothing and everthing because I’m too busy fumbling for that stupid nozzle.

I’m not alone: we all have trouble seeing the value in ourselves with bloodshot eyes. Mary Tsao quotes Stacy Morrison, editor-in-chief of Redbook magazine today:

Many women put their career on hold when they have children. Some juggle working and parenting for financial--and other--reasons. As Stacy Morrison, editor-in-chief of Redbook magazine wrote in her January 2007 editor’s letter: “...one of the challenges of my grown-up life is to keep feeding the part of myself that thinks big thoughts, to keep feeling wonder about who I can be, beyond a diaper-changing, runny-nose-wiping love machine.”

As a working mom, would Morrison consider herself a role model? Perhaps not, according to RoleMommy.com:

“No working mother will ever say that she is a role model. How could she be?? Between the job, the kids, the house and the husband...she’s barely keeping it together, let alone helping anyone else with their problems.

But the truth is, she is. Every working mother is a role model for other working mothers. She’s an inspiration, a source of advice, a springboard for ideas, a confidante to laugh with and a reality check to remind us that we are certainly not alone.”

I’m too tired to even comment after reading that.

Anyone have a cure for firehose-induced paralysis?

limp

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Familybits, Newsbits

A Healthcare - NOW member just forwarded this newsletter to me…

August 29, 2006
THE NEWS TODAY – How to Get to a 21st Century Healthcare System

The numbers of uninsured are at an all time high in the United States according to today’s U.S. Census report. In 2005, the numbers rose to 46.6 million. This announcement means that 5.4 million more people are without healthcare insurance since the last count, a disgraceful record.

We are excited about the tremendous progress of Healthcare-NOW and others in building the movement for a national 21st Century-style healthcare system. However, it is alarming to see the new statistics today showing that the old-fashioned Bush policies and the continued attempts to reframe the old profit-driven healthcare system are continuing to push us toward disaster for our families and for the nation.

It has been said that the crisis would have to impact the middle class before we would have significant change. That moment has now arrived. The largest new number of uninsured are in the $50,000 to $60,000 income range. This includes several hundred thousand children despite the SCHIPS childrens’ programs that are now threatened with major government cuts.

We are ranked number 42 in the world in infant mortality – behind Slovenia, Cyprus and South Korea, Cuba and all of Europe. Our life expectancy statistics are behind 34 other nations. It is better to get sick in dozens of progressive countries where they have great healthcare systems. (The Center for American Progress, “Paying More; Getting Less.")

TheMommyBlog