TheMommyBlog

Thursday, July 17, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Other people who write

See the new article in Advertising Age on P&G’s inviting 15 influential mommy bloggers to headquarters in Cincinnati. Disclaimer: I’m one of the 15!

Thursday, July 03, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Other people who write, Bad Mood Dude, BlogHer

I just checked in with my (way too) many profile pages, and on LinkedIn, I had a message that July 2 was the last day to register for BlogHer. That would have been great information to have YESTERDAY.

This is the first BlogHer conference I’ll have missed, and that’s sad. I was there at the beginning, stuffing binders and helping to fill in when audio failed during the keynote.

Even worse, it’s in my area this year, an hour up the Peninsula in San Francisco. Phil’s stomping grounds. Jesus H. Barnacle Christ in a potato sack.

I wouldn’t have been able to go anyway, especially as the collection call from the hospital this morning claimed the last remaining funds in my bank account.

If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be going now. Not to BlogHer, of course, but just over there, on the couch. I’m finding Julie Kenner’s Play.Win.Survive trilogy to be quite the escape these days.

(Seriously, I thought the Demon Hunter series was great, but this is something else altogether! Think DaVinci Code meets Devil Wear Prada meets The Matrix. Fashion, assassins, sex, and cryptology. What’s not to love?)

Friday, June 27, 2008 Other people who write

Felicia Sullivan is an author and marketing diva at Harper Collins with whom I’ve developed a warm, comfortable, email friendship. She sends me funny emails and fab books, and I send her…my address. No, no, I really admire her, both for her decidedly un-annoying marketing skills and for her heart-felt writing.

I just purchased her book, The Sky Isn’t Visible from Here, a book I’ve read about and heard about just about everywhere, but haven’t picked up because, frankly, my life has enough drama and roller coasters and her book sounds like The Matterhorn of memoirs. In a good way, of course, But I didn’t think I had the emotional reserves to actually read it.

Of course, I bought the book because she sent an email that made it tantalizing, impossible to resist, and important. Also, if I did buy it I could be entered into a giveaway. But still! The girl can persuade!

So I visited her blog. And stopped dead in my tracks. This post is one that I could have written, should have written, should have acted on long ago. How did she get inside my head?

I have to let go of the fact that my book didn’t sell as much as I wanted it to. I have to let go of the fact that my father isn’t always as present as I need him to be. I have to let go of the comforts of New York and all the memories buried within it. I have to let go of the fact that I will always have a deep relationship with The Student Loan Corporation. I have let go of “friends” who are determined to use. People who take advantage of your connections, your time and your kindness, and you can see their wheels churning as they imagine ven diagrams and line drawings - all the ways in which you can connect them to what they want. I have to let go of the fact that sometimes the world doesn’t work precisely how you want it to. I have to let go of the fact that I will always have to work harder for what I want - and maybe this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Maybe, I’m realizing, it’s fine to have success on your own terms, know that you earned something completely rather than being the product of hype or “it girl” status. I’m not promising happy endings here, I’m just done wallowing.

This is my assignment, and yours, for the summer.

Let go.

I can’t promise to stop wallowing, but I can stop looking for pears on an apple tree.

Saturday, June 14, 2008 Other people who write

Eeeee! An advance review copy of Deja Demon just arrived from my pal and author Julie Kemmer (who has a kick-ass author web site, I might add)!

I am so excited–it’s exactly the sort of escape I need today. The gentle a-thump-a-thump of the clothes dryer in the background, the scree-scree-scree of some unidentified piece of metal scraping along the inside of the drum as it turns, the power tools going incessantly across the street. Ahh, suburbia. At least I don’t have to worry about demons and training my teenage daughter to be an apprentice Demon Hunter. Reporting to the Vatican and all that… I don’t think I could stand the micromanagement or the heart-stopping job requirements.

What is killing me at the moment is not knowing whether I read the third book in the series before I start this fourth. I know I read Carpe Demon, and California Demon, but I don’t know if I read Demons are Forever, because Deja Demon seems to pick up just fine, story-wise. But I am compulsive sort, and I searched five huge bookshelves in my house before deciding to just enjoy the one in my hand. If anything, I could just start all over again. They’re really fun… and sexy. I kid you not.

Oh! I just remembered that at least the first book I read in the series was unbound, on paper, so of course there isn’t a book in the shelves! Man. I wonder where that is. Maybe I should just purchase the collection, ya think? Gah, now I need to go read all the synopses!

Anyway, Julie Kenner is incredibly prolific and entertaining, two things that don’t necessarily go hand in hand. Her books always go straight to the top of my review pile (sorry). You can pre--order book 4 on Amazon now!

Thursday, June 05, 2008 Other people who write, Fun Finds

I received an invitation to a Flickr Group this morning that really required me to feel as shitty as I do right now to actually accept it. What more could add to the sinus headache, allergies, nerve damage to my mousing hand, and general desperation for coffee?

Come As You Are

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Post a photo of yourself taken right now.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, grab a camera (photobooth obviously helps) and snap. No retouching, just the rawness of a moment in time. Then post your photo on flickr or your blog/site, and share the link in comments here.

Ready? GO.

In the name of God and all his backup singers, I solemnly swear that this is not more than 30 seconds old:

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Other people who write, Bad Mood Dude, BlogHer

While not being able to sleep because my daughter invaded my bed and pressed her heat-seeking missile body ever closer until I fell off the edge, I began to read up on some of the links I mentioned a couple of posts back. No surprise, Jenn Satterwhite of Mommy Needs Coffee had a totally spot-on take of the genre of Mommy Bloggers. I usually stay out of the fray, either because I’ve said it all before somewhere in last six years or because I know that the title of my blog has become more of an impediment than a novelty. Yes, I’m cranky. My daughter was radiating heat like a… heat radiator thing.

Read these excerpts from Jenn’s post, and then my comment, which should have been a post here in the first place (and now is).

While we are on the topic of respect, I have to mention a great conversation that took place today. The question was asked:

“Tell me, is ‘Mommyblogger’ still a negative term in the Social Media space? Has it changed? Do you still look down? Be truthful.”

The response was quick and thorough.

Momologue responded with: “Just last week I got a ‘oh your one of those, an MB.’ Complete with a wave of hand. Dismissed.

But was quick to also add: “But I do love the online community we create. It’s the best — and it’s about diapers and changing the world.

Banannie put in her two cents with: “I always felt the mommy-blogger label was too confining, and I shook it completely a year ago when I started a new blog… much of that was because of reaction from others that made mommy-blogging feel second tier- looking back I should have ignored.”

For many of us, we remember the time when the very term or idea of mommybloggers was dismissed, shunned and looked down upon. The very first BlogHer conference had a session on mommyblogging that was a “room of our own” and was expected to bring in few people. It was standing room only. Back then, one of the main focuses of the discussion was whether or not the term mommyblogger was derogatory. Today, as I followed the discussion on Twitter, I saw many responses that were along these lines:

Shelisrael shared: “I never knew that mommy bloggers were looked down upon. Not ever. Why do you perceive otherwise?”

From Karoli: “Maybe b/c I’m older or whatever, but I never saw it as a derogatory term. Still don’t quite understand why it’s seen that way.”

And my personal favorite by Dave Taylor: “I never thought “mommyblogger” was other than a statement of heroic survival ability!”

Not everyone was loving the term or category. Lone Sophist stated:"I think that women who are mothers and blog are more than mommybloggers, that’s why I don’t like that ‘category.’”

The point is this. Just a few years ago we were in a small room and felt like second tier bloggers. Today, we are much sought after by marketers, talk shows and magazines. We’ve come a long way, baby.

I responded: “Try having a blog called THE MOMMY BLOG. Judged right out of the gate, anyone? Named yourself the Kleenex of the blogosphere? You’re such a dork. Now I’m going to get a lot of “sure thing, Al Gore, you and the Internet” crap for this, but the only reason I have that name is because I had to pick one when I opened up my Typepad account in 2002. I was stumped. Uh, blog, blog, who the fuck am I, I’m the mommy, so that will have to do until I figure out how all of this works. And then you realize it’s now fixed as part of your URL and you’re stuck with it.

Further proof of dorkitude? I created a blog for my mom at the same time called The Grandma Blog. Towering genius. But it never caught on.

So there you have it. I coined “The Mommy Blog.” Doesn’t it count if you come up with it with no outside influence? Oh yeah, there WAS no influence back then. And now my blog name is a descriptor that has become so commonplace and emotionally charged that it’s practically meaningless. Brilliant. Good luck with that.

Now I am surrounded by dozens of blogs calling themselves The Mommy Blog, Mommy Confidential, and even variations on Wonderbelly. I can’t service mark the whole dictionary, can I, so what am I complaining about? Well, I don’t want to be confused with a pro-swinger blog, or one that consists almost exclusively of blinking meme banners, or, and this really feels good, someone who does it a whole lot better than I do and makes total bank doing it.

It’s like I need a do-over, but I have six years of recognition and branding associated with the title of my blog. I called it first! Wait - can I change it?”

Monday, May 19, 2008 Other people who write

Well, that does it. I’m nineteen pages into Michelle Lamar’s The White Trash Mom Handbook (Embrace Your Inner Trailerpark, Forget Perfection, Resist Assimilation into the PTA, Stay Sane and Keep Your Sense of Humor) and already I’m willing to throw in the towel and suggest you transfer your links and your loyalty to her. She’s far more organized and sensible than I am, and is able to articulate–in the first nineteen pages no less–why some of us are the way we are and are so incredibly self-conscious about it. She totally strips the veneer off the ideal mom and tells you to knock it off already if you are spending time and energy trying to be perfect, or even good enough. Chances are, you’re aces.

I’ve known Michelle for years through her blog, The White Trash Mom. We’ve never met, but I’m pretty sure I could recognize her handwriting because we’re in each other’s address book for holiday cards. That’s a big deal for bloggers. Most of my address book consists of email addresses with obscure referential terminology and slang. It says a lot if you can look at a blogger’s email address or title and come up with a real name to go with it.

What I love about her, and her writing, is that she’s already in my head. I don’t ever find myself navigating away in the middle of a post, overcome with feelings of inadequacy. I’ve never had the old “yeah, whatever” feeling creep up on me with her around. We’ve exchanged the most inappropriate finds and unbelievably hilarious emails, and I know that I could never cross the line with her. Seriously, if you’re a longtime reader, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. I can tolerate just about anything from her because I automatically assume it’s funny, and she gives me the same benefit of the doubt. Besides, who else gave me totally free advertising for my book because she just KNEW how shitty I was feeling about not having the funds to promote it? She just sent me the code and said, get yer ad up, sister.

What really got me to put down the book and scurry to my keyboard was her guide to Spotting the White Trash Mom in Her Native Habitat. One of the first things to look for is a big laugh. A biiiig laugh. She is so right. I like to see molars when a friend laughs. None of this pursed up-curve of the lips that doesn’t quite make it all the way up to the eyes. It made me feel proud, and authentic, and at home, because I have what has been described as a room-clearing laugh. Or a sort of Mindy GPS. People know where I am in the building.

My favorite laugh of all time was with Phil. We were waiting to go on the Mystery Spot tour, and he was whispering to me and I was bent over, feet off the ground, crying, and unable to stop laughing. A girl about twenty feet away punched her boyfriend in the arm and asked, “How come you never make ME laugh like that?”

She needs a White Trash Mom in her life.

Sunday, May 18, 2008 Other people who write

I was in Wine Country with friends this weekend, so I missed about seventeen calls and 676368741523 emails while I was gone. Jiminy. So I did my usual browse through alerts to see if I missed anything much and found this fabulous comic on Velveteen Mind.

Harkens back to the day when I used to sell “Mommy Blogged Me” onsies and “Please Don’t Blog This” thongs (on the back, it read, “I’m begging you.").

Anyway, I see links there to a lot of folks I know, so I’ll have to check them out when I have time tomorrow. And I guess, um, you should too, otherwise I’m kinda posting to the void, y’know?

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 Other people who write

Soon I will I have the chance to interview my very first parenting hero and savior, Vicki Iovine of the Girlfriends’ Guide book series on pregnancy and parenting. I clutched her book to my heartburn-ravaged chest with my water-retaining hands, and slept for months with one or another of her books flung to the foot of my bed as I passed out waiting for the next feeding.

Sure, there were the classic baby guides, which I will not name here because they were helpful in their own special ways (and because they gave us a common vocabulary and starting point), but every single one of them left me scratching my head, laughing at the likelihood that I’d ever be like that, or burning in shame because I fit the profile of an ill-equipped mom.

What is so great about Vicki’s books is that she keeps it real, and is not afraid to just lay it on you: after giving birth, you will bleed like a stuck pig, feel like you’re walking around with a grapefruit between your legs, and most definitely will not be gagging for sex anytime soon. That’s what I got out of it, and thank God for that, because it reduced guilt, stress, and bafflement, especially when during my first shower I though, “WHAT in God’s name is the grapefruit-sized THING?”

So! I am thinking up questions to ask, and would love suggestions from you all, whether or not you’ve read any of the Guides.

What would you ask a former model, lawyer, and TV producer married to a record producer who had four children in six years in her later years?

You can see her books at my Amazon Store—go snatch them up!

Thursday, January 10, 2008 Other people who write

You may remember my long lost twin—my first separation! *cymbals*—Dr. Val Jones. She and I are so alike it’s frightening, with small exceptions such as her being much smarter, much more successful, more educated, and even more outspoken. But not funnier! No, I’m… crap. Okay, she’s funny too, and photogenic to boot. I’m starting to like her less and less as I type this…

ANYwho, what I wanted to say is this: Dr. Val is up for Best New Medical Blog for her totally absorbing blog, (especially if you’re a medical junkie like me, or just want to know what’s current in women’s health and happiness) , Dr. Val and the Voice of Reason.

Cooper Monroe said it best: “She is so smart, enthusiastic and has a big, big heart. Leaders like Dr. Val change the world, which is what she works toward every day at Revolution Health.”

Please go and vote for Dr. Val. She totally deserves this award. Besides, I can only vote once.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007 Other people who write, Other places I write, Web/Tech

I am proud to announce a partnership with a new site that will feature some of my content! Here is the press release, plus a Link to coverage on TechCrunch.

Thursday, November 22, 2007 Other people who write

My friend Aly sent me this dialog from her favorite tv series, ever, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

Anya on Thanksgiving: I love a ritual sacrifice.

Buffy: It’s not really one of those.

Anya: To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It’s a ritual sacrifice, with pie.

I am SO pulling that one out at approximately 5:30 this afternoon.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007 Me, Me, Me, Other people who write, Newsbits, Web/Tech

Exciting news today!

First, BabyCenter.com has announced a partnership with Federated Media, my advertising reps, and the authors in the Parenting Federation. It’s been my dream to be a writer on BabyCenter for ten years - ever since I first started visiting their site with my first of four pregnancies and read “Bringing up Ben” religiously. Eventually, Ben had a little sister, and the feature became “Waiting for Birdie” which may sound familiar to you, as it was recently published as a book. I’m very excited that John Battelle, founder of Federated Media and Tina Sharkey, formerly of AOL and current CEO of BabyCenter.com had the vision to bring us together.

• Introducing The BabyCenter Parenting Federation
• BabyCenter and Federated Media Launch the BabyCenter Parenting Federation, Bringing Together Web’s Leading Parenting Voices
• BabyCenter’s new Parenting Federation Hub

Life Outside the Box #4 - Mindy Roberts

Wednesday, November 07, 2007 Me, Me, Me, Other people who write, Web/Tech

Sort of a “Life” theme here, no? We’ll get over it soon. We’re just jealous of those who have one. *cymbals*

Well, later this morning I’ll be shipping Miss Scarlet Fever and Master Fever Blister off to Daddy’s so I can take off my hazmat suit, have a decontaminating shower, and head up to Sausalito to hang out with Doug McConnell of Bay Area Backroads and OpenRoad.tv to talk about what we Interwebnetizens do “outside the box.” That’s a very nice way of saying, “when off our asses.” (Manners count.)

The first to be interviewed in the series, and a tough act to follow, is David Pescovitz of BoingBoing.com. Carl Bidleman, a crew member of Life Outside the Box, introduces the series in today’s OpenRoad.tv blog post:

Doug and I are TV guys who started working in this web world over two years ago and I’m amazed at how much of my life I now spend in front of a computer.  10-11 hours a day, six days a week.  It seems way out of whack and I got to wondering how others who make their living in the virtual world get reconnected to the real one.  So today we’re launching a new video blog series we call Life Outside the Box.  In the coming days and weeks we’ll post conversations with Rhett Butler of Mongabay.com, David Allen Ibsen of 5 Blogs Before Lunch, Mindy Roberts of The Mommy Blog, Scott Beale of Laughing Squid and Natalie Zee Drieu of craftzine.com about places where they love to spend their precious time.  But we’re very pleased to inaugurate the series with a guy we’ve come to like very much, David Pescovitz.  David is an editor of Boing Boing, one of the most popular blogs on the internet that bills itself as “a directory of wonderful things.” The editors report on internet esoterica, anomalies, and curiosities across an insanely wide range of topics, from innovative technology and contemporary art to culture and weird science.  The only filter is “interestingness.” And interestingness is exactly what David shared with Doug at one of his favorite off-line places, the Musee Mecanique on San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf, home of the legendary Laughing Sal.  Have a look.

I’m sure glad they got Ole Laughing Sal over with, so I don’t have the only room-clearing laugh in the series. I really don’t know what we’ll focus on, but we’ll start with coffee and chat near the water, so I pretty much don’t care. I’ll be miles and miles away from Sick Bay. For the moment.

Monday, October 22, 2007 Other people who write

Kelly at JPD Mom had a thoughtful post today about copying, ranging from “imitation” to outright plagiarism.

It’s as old as creativity itself, so sometimes you have to stay poised and ready to do the next thing, because if your first thing is good, people WILL copy it. I empathized with her as she described the ambiguity of some examples - is it a compliment? An innocent mistake? A coincidental discovery or design? (You wouldn’t believe the number of great scientific discoveries that were either developed independently and continents away, only be noticed decades later. Was it Newton who invented Calculus and then sat on it for thirty years?)

And then there are the cases in which you think you are original, when you are just human. That could be where I fall into place.

See, my problem is a little less clear-cut. I’m The Mommy Blog. Have been since 2002. Don’t think anyone called themselves that prior to that. I have the domains, all of them. Yet I am finding a new “The Mommy Blog” every five flipping minutes and it’s driving me up a wall. Is the name too generic, like “Kleenex,” where the name of the company has entered the vernacular and is eventually treated as public domain? GAH.

I think that having established myself as the first mommy blog (at least the first to refer to myself as such that I am aware of - corrections please if they are warranted) gives me a certain stewardship of the name, if not ownership. We all know that possession is nine-tenths of the law, so I have all the relevant URLs and have been doing business under the name for years, but now that Mommy Blogs have become a raging epidemic (and I mean that in the most generous way possible), I feel sort of like they guy who came up with Kleenex. It’s so prevalent a name and concept that it doesn’t matter who makes it, people will forever refer to tissue of that sort as Kleenex.

What are the protocols these days? What are the rights and responsibilities when something you’ve created becomes mainstream? I don’t want to change and never will, but come on. I don’t really want to be confused with all those other folks that call themselves “The Mommy Blog” any more than they want to be confused with me.

(And I mean that in the most generous way possible.)