TheMommyBlog

Thursday, June 24, 2004 Workbits

The gals in my department and I are taking the day to do a little “team building” tomorrow! We’ll meet for brunch, and then head off to the Indian bazaar for henna tattoos, and then see if we’re up for a movie.

Oh, you don’t think that qualifies as team building? Well, then you weren’t there last time when three out of the four of us discovered that we could not get ourselves home with freshly hennaed hands!!!

Claire, who had the sense to have her feet done, had to dig through each of our purses, scrounge for money to pay the artist, find our car keys, help us into our cars, and then pray that we all made it home safely. It was the most gracefully coordinated rescue mission I’d witnessed in a long time.

This time, I think I will not do my hands. For one, it’s inconvenient for the first day or so as the dried bits of henna flake off to reveal the design underneath. For another, it has a very strong odor, one we all oohed and ahhed over at first, but by morning I was ready to chop my hands off, and by day three I had vowed never to do henna again.

So. I need your help deciding where to put tomorrow’s design! Shall I do my feet this time, and have lovely vines and flowers entwining my ankles for the next few weeks of summer? Or shall I have a design drawn on my lower back, or belly, or shoulders?

Go ahead and leave a comment, and I will tot up the votes in the morning and go with whatever the majority chooses! And yes, as a matter of fact, I will post pictures.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 Workbits

Memo from Facilities in my inbox this morning!

“Toilet rooms are still out of order. We are working to to have them open as soon as possible this morning.

Unfortunately, they were not able to clear the sewer line yesterday afternoon.  They are to continue to work on the line this mornng, with the installation of a new clean out.

Again, I apologize for the inconvenience. ( This may be a good morning to reacquaint yourselves with the staff - and their facilites - at Headquarters!! )”

UPDATE: A truck is here from $15 Sewer & Drain Services. ("Complete plumbing services! We can do it all!") Only the best for us!

Wait! A second truck just pulled up! Our budget must have gone up to $30! This will be sorted in no time, I can feel it.

Friday, May 14, 2004 Workbits

It figures that the interoffice memo sitting unopened on my desk for three days contained this:

Thursday, April 01, 2004 Workbits

We’re all friends here, aren’t we? I can confess to irrational and unhelpful behavior without fear of your thinking I’m an idiot, right? Pipe down, you in the back.

The day before yesterday, I curled up on my sofa at work for a little power nap so I could recharge for the second half of my 37-hour day and finish my project. Just lying there all tensed up and stressed out wasn’t getting me anywhere, so I picked up my officemate’s copy of Word Spy: The Word Lover’s Guide to Modern Culture, figuring I’d read for a few minutes, nap, and awaken fully charged and a bit more relaxed.

Did I open to Chapter 9: Tales of Comfort, Security and Privacy? No. I opened to Chapter 4: Modern Angst and Anger.

Three quotes led the chapter:

Now is the age of anxiety. ?W. H. Auden

On an average weekday, a major newspaper contains more information than any contemporary of Shakespeare?s would have acquired in a lifetime. ?Anonymous

When angry count four; when very angry, swear. ?Mark Twain

Wednesday, March 31, 2004 Workbits

WE DID IT!!! IT’S FINISHED! ONE HOUR AHEAD OF SCHEDULE!

I am just now printing out the 222-page draft grant attachment to our organizational tax return, the fruits of our labors over the last 6 months.

Three or four of us have been working like the dickens all month (and I’ve been slaving since January) to do the final compliance review on the 432 grant files that require special documentation for the IRS. That’s roughly 430 more than I look at in any given week, so you can imagine how I felt about taking it on after we laid off the position last year that used to do it. That would be the position I created 6 years ago because it was getting to be a full-time job for at least half the year.

This year, it wasn’t a full-time job for half the year; it was a 175%-time job for two months. You may have heard.

Last Fall, as head of the department I was Russian-volunteered passed the baton, and with not a little revamping of the database and some serious freaking training for the rest of the folks touching the data, we managed to shave six months off the process. Yes, I’m tooting my own fucking horn; you would too. Believe me.

OK, now I am going to pack my little report lovingly into a 3-ring binder, drive over to HQ, slow down to 30 mph, and hurl that puppy out my car window. And then I’ll go back to my office and phone my boss to let him know it’s done.

Friday, March 26, 2004 Workbits

I am a bad friend, a bad officemate, and a bad boss. Poor Neelam is fasting all week for religious reasons, and Kathy and I are sharing a pizza. Large. Half combo, half garlic chicken. Am truly wicked. But oh, so hungry.

Also, am spending the day in lounge clothes, barefoot, hair in pigtails, crosslegged on my office couch, with a wifi laptop on a chair in front of me not five feet from my desktop, M&Ms to my left, and Diet Coke to my right. Am as happy as can be considering that I am also poring through 228 pages of tax return items with a red pen and highlighter.

Monday, March 22, 2004 Workbits

I just picked up some Italian dry salame, cheese, crackers, and a nice Vieux Chateau Gaubert, and there is NO WINE OPENER in this godforsaken office.

I am seriously thinking of cracking the bottle open on the edge of my desk and drinking whatever doesn’t spill.

Monday, March 22, 2004 Workbits

Seriously, I am operating on about 3 volts here. I just took a power nap so I could stay awake, but I’m not so sure it worked. I’ve been here 10 hours so far, and just called home to say, “Have dinner without me.” Wah, wah, wah, whiney, whiney, whiney.

It seems like I am working more and more hours lately, but getting less and less done. Could be the burnout, but I’m too tired to look that up.

The end is in sight, though: we turn the draft project over to Counsel on the 31st, next Wednesday, and then can relax for two weeks. We get it back on the 15th for revisions and work like idiots again until I leave for my week-long conference on the 23rd. Then it will be May.

Isn’t Easter in there somewhere? And, Mom, isn’t it at our house this year? [note to self: check calendar. And buy a ham.]

Any questions? No? OK, then. I’m heading out to Drager’s to pick up cheese and crackers for dinner, and if I pass the wine section, there’s about an 87% chance I’ll pick up a little of that as well (see Thing #25 below).

Monday, March 22, 2004 Workbits

Aren’t there labor laws that keep children from holding full-time jobs? Why do I feel like I run the only department full of grownups??

Thursday, March 18, 2004 Workbits

...if you’re the Big Boss, and you have a department head who is going out of his (or her) gourd trying to deliver on the single most important project you have going right now, when you drop in unexpectedly, do you:

A) Thank him (or her) for his (or her) hard work and dedication, and offer encouragement and support for the remainder of the time leading up to the deadline?

B) Scruffle around on his (or her) desk, point out a corporate card statement that hasn’t gone to A/P yet, and needle him (or her) about it?

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 Workbits

This morning when I poured the milk into my coffee, I suddenly realized what that lumpy shit in the bottom of yesterday’s cup was. I thankyew.

Sunday, February 22, 2004 Workbits

No pears for my staff this year...