TheMommyBlog

Saturday, March 11, 2006 Family

I was just stumbling to the kitchen to turn off my Mac (not like I ever use it anymore—my work laptop has taken over my life and I only turn my beloved G5 on for the music) and decided to poke around a bit before shutting down. I was feeling despondent (no, really) about not having a thought in my head beyond file outputs and formatting and coding, when I found this. Oh my freaking toes. It’s perfect. Sign me up.

Tired of keeping a house, kids, husband, and a blog in order? Doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day for you? You need Blogsoft’s Mommy Blog plug-in. Yes Blogsoft thought of you, and for its second plug-in, mommies are not only thought of, but because we knew your time was short, this Blogsoft plug-in is extremely easy to set up and start utilizing.

Once loaded up on your computer, all that is required from you it is for you to regularly download the newest pictures of your babies or children. Blogsoft does the rest for you and you’ll never have to decide whether to change those dirty diapers or blog again.

Blogsoft’s Mommy blog plug-in does it all. Day after day it will crank out mundane stories about your monotonous rituals with the children, that only someone else with absolutely no life would actually appreciate. It grabs your latest photos and then inserts them into your posts automatically. It even does something your husband probably can’t do; it remembers the children’s birthdays without prompting from you…

No—wait—this is the part that sold me:

...Blogsoft’s Mommy blog plug-in even degrades over time, just like you do, and eventually it will not remember what its original programming was like either. It even has its own antidepressant simulator mode, where the writing becomes wildly erratic, just as it would if a doctor were adjusting your medication. No one will ever know that Blogsoft is doing all this for you…

...Never bother again, sweating the decision to wipe a bottom, or finish a post. No more struggling to write posts that nobody gives a damn about. Let Blogsoft’s own Mommy blog plug-in roll other people’s eyes for you, automatically! Get yours today!