TheMommyBlog

Thursday, November 09, 2006 Me, Me, Me, Bad Mood Dude

I haven’t been able to write lately. Probably because I’m feeling sorry for myself, but that’s more of a general theme than a reason. Plus? I have no business doing that considering how lucky I am in most things.

Not much chance of a coherent post, but maybe listing things out will help me see how to get out of this funk.

• After being turned down by three different health plans, I went for the HIPPA Hail Mary. Not having heard anything, I made some calls and was waiting to hear back when I found the application in yesterday’s mail, battered, travel-worn, and marked “Return to Sender.” I had the agent’s assistant ready the bloody address to me over the phone while writing it on the envelope. Have to start over. Current coverage ends on the 14th.
• I decided to let the kids have total control of their Halloween candy hoping that if they could eat it all at once it would be gone faster and we’d avoid the months of trading and begging and taunting. Yes, I know. I deserve the resultant wacky behavior.
• Getting along with my ex so well for so long has made this past few weeks especially difficult. Had our first ever screamy shouty scene in front of the children as they were all leaving for school. Would help if he didn’t initiate serious, complicated discussions minutes before school and before I wipe the sleepies out of my eyes. Makes me cranky. You wouldn’t like me when I’m cranky.
• Had my first really big fight with Phil last night. Ooo-fa. And ouch. We made up and thank goodness we did because otherwise his peach- laced pork roast and Frangelica-braised carrots were going in the trash. And we watched Austin Powers, which would cheer anyone up.
• Had kittens yesterday when the final proofs of my book showed up and had the wrong author photo in the front of the book. Very first page. Happy Birthday. When I say wrong, I don’t mean different, I mean, very low, looks-like-shit resolution. I approved an electronic copy thinking they’d used the last one I sent and knew that one looked good in print, so it’s my bad. Also, the cover is lower resolution than I expected and what Lulu put out. None of you would notice these things or care, but my head almost popped. I’ve over it today.
• Have officially had this flu for ten days now. I thought I’d already caught every bug out there because I never get sick for more than a few days. But this must be a new one because I have been curl-in-the-fetal-position sick for six of the last seven days.
• I received my final unemployment check in the mail yesterday, and sent back the stub saying that I have found work. That’s a good thing but it’s hard to swallow the realization that part-time for the first three months really pays the same as unemployment. On the upside, I have groceries for November covered.
• I hate being so dependant on anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever be normal again.
• I have never weighed this much in my life without another human inside me.
• I need six thousand dollars worth of dental repairs. I have vivid calcium deposits on my front teeth and one of the bottom teeth came in without a calcium cover at all. I had the one tooth repaired several times as a child, and had the color evened out on the others when I started modeling. Twenty years later they are dangerously chipped and the bottom one is now totally exposed. Insurance doesn’t cover that sort of thing.
• It has finally sunk in with my kids that it’s unsafe to play in the front yard or on the sidewalk because we live on a croner of a busy street. Now they ask me every other day when we can get a fence to keep them safe. A fence would cost almost as much as the dental work.
• I am one whiney brat, no? Let’s forget we had this conversation. I still don’t have a clue how to proceed.