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Tuesday, November 25, 2008 Current Affairs

GM Covered With Giant Tarp Until It Has Money To Work On Cars Again

DETROIT—The General Motors Corporation announced Monday that it has covered its main production plant with a 500,000-square-foot blue tarp until it can get some revenue together to work on its cars again. “The rear-axle assembly line is all out of whack, and the carburetor department needs a complete rebuild,” CEO G. Richard Wagoner, Jr. said while wiping his hands with an oily rag. “It’s going to be at least a $50 billion job. Goddamn piece of shit American car industry.” According to Wagoner, the automotive giant spent its last $18 on cinder blocks to help secure the tarp.

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