I write. A lot.
I also design stuff and collect funny things kids say. Oh, and please buy my book. It's very funny.
I also review books and keep track of them in The Mommy Blog Amazon Book Store.
Holiday Toy List at Amazon.com
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My son was in the same room as me when I was getting dressed one day. I scratched the top of my left breast a little and he said, “Mommy, you are touching your —-!”
I said to him, “I just have an itch,” to which he responded, “That’s *your* excuse!”
Jet, 4
Jax: Mommy, here’s a little piece of toilet paper to wipe the tip.
Mommy: The tip of what?
Jax: Your penis.
Jax, 3
After being told to go outside and pick up the dog poop, he goes outside, whines and complains. He comes back in and says, “Mom, I think the dog over-pooped.”
Luke, 8
When I woke up one morning with a sore throat, raspy voice, and fever, my three-year-old, Emilie, asked me what was wrong. I said, “Mama has a cold…” and she felt my cheek for a minute before saying, “No. You has a hot!”
Emilie, 3
Do you know how I memorized 2 x 11? I have this fake pencil in my brain, and it writes down the multiplication!!
Hugo, 6
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01.22.05 at 10:05 AM |
I love when the sun shimes on my face in the morning.
Interesting, little known fact: the physical act of smiling causes a chemical soup to be released into your bloodstream not unlike the ones released by eating chocolate and having orgasms. This hormonal cocktail causes a feeling of overall well being and makes you want to smile more, thus a spiral towards ecstasy is begun, without the extra calories or the wet spot.
So, if you want your ass to get smaller and be happy about it (whilst saving on laundry bills), smile more!
01.22.05 at 12:02 PM |
Zeno: bite me.
01.22.05 at 07:00 PM |
MINDY! PRECIOUS! Bless your heart...stuck in Friday with the DemonQueen. She CAN be a sweetheart...but STILL! What would the neighbors think. Now HERE’S the plan...come BACK to the Red Carpet and click on TODAY’S comments. There you’ll find everyone else who’s coming in a bit tardy. Actually, you know...the BIG winners are just now arriving, so I think that makes you RIGHT ON TIME. Bless your heart....