TheMommyBlog

Thursday, November 01, 2007 Our Holiday Curse, Family

Man. I cannot believe you stole our candy. Do you see these little cherubs? How excited they are to go trick-or-treating? The glowing faces, the sweet, sweet, little pigeon-toed stance that says, “This is the best night of my whole life and by bedtime I will be rich, rich, RICH!” Wait, that was just Dylan.

But you. Sometime before things really got swinging, by 7:30 p.m., you’d already emptied the massive punch bowl filled with candy that I left on our doorstep next to the jolly straw pumpkin and under the dangling, four-foot spider. You even pulled each of my little pumpkin lights lining the walk out of the ground and kicked some of the tops off.

I live on a busy corner of a very family-oriented neighborhood. My ex and my mom also live in terrific neighborhoods, and when the kids were little we went for the spectacle of Grandma and Grandpa’s block party; now that they are older they want to trick-or-treat with their school friends in their Dad’s neighborhood. Fine. Fine.

For three years, I have put out the same bowl on a little stool and you adhered to the honor system. Parents instructed you to take just one, and leave enough for all the other little trick-or-treaters. Often by the time I returned home, there was still half a bowl left and I would spend the rest of the evening putting fistfuls into children’s bags just to get rid of it all.

This year, I put out the biggest stash ever. And you took it. You missed a few pieces, though, when you shook the contents into whatever duffel bag you were toting. One fell into my potted lavender. Another into the bark. A third next to one of the little pumpkin lights lying helplessly on its back in the grass.

Just look at these children. You took candy away from the dozens just like them who looked forward to coming to the corner house with the huge stash every year. YOU. ARE. A. JERK.