FamilyI went to Logan’s game today with Phil, to hang out with the children while their dad coached and brother played. They are always so glad to see me that it’s hard to mind sitting on a bench for two hours while they paint me with melted Skittles and spit.
After the game wound down and Logan’s team would not be batting again, I said that it was time for me to go, and that Daddy would be right there and they should stay in sight and hang out next to the dugout until the game was over. Dylan promised to let his sister play his Game Boy because she was so sad.
“Mama, I want to come to your house.”
“And you will, on Monday!”
“Nooo, I want to come now.”
“But then you’d just miss your father and this is your time to be with him. Isn’t it just as fun there?”
“Yes, but you’re so much snugglier.”
“Snugglier because I do it more or just plain snugglier?”
“Well, Daddy snuggles, but after a while my head hurts on his shoulder.”
“Ahhh, so I’m more cushy.” She burrowed deeper into my arms until her voice was muffled.
“Mama, we want you to stop! We want you to live together in one house. We want you to stop living in two houses.”
“Baby, that’s just not going to happen. Do you remember why we have two houses?”
“No,”
“Well, it’s because we are a better team in two houses. We were fighting too much and too sad all together in one house, so we each have our own place and we’re all able to get along much better and share time really well.”
“But Mama, I don’t want to fall apart.”
And that just did it for me. That was the ball game.
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03.24.07 at 08:27 PM |
That? Just about the saddest thing I’ve ever read. I hate the concept of a “virtual hug” but my arms are just itching to give one right this very minute.
Sigh.
03.24.07 at 10:49 PM |
Oh, honey! Moments like those are so hard to recover from. Nothing can pierce my heart like a comment from one of my kids. You’re a great mom, Mindy! Thanks for sharing all the bits of your life with us - it’s a rich tapestry, and it’s REAL.
03.25.07 at 08:53 AM |
Boy, they can get us every time, can’t they?
03.26.07 at 05:57 AM |
Gulp, that’s a heartbreaker. Though I think it’s sadder in a more subterranean way when people stay together “for the kids"and end up fighting all the time. When children grow up in an unhappy household they develop warped views on what constitutes a healthy relationship. You’re doing right by them. Feel good about that.
03.26.07 at 11:22 AM |
I was in your shoes once and here’s the great news. One day very soon your kids will tell you, their friends and anyone that will listen, how great it is to have two houses. (So long as everybody plays nice, that is.) My son is so completely well adjusted and happy and an A student and fabulous athlete, and… and… and.
It’s OK. You handled it beautifully.
03.26.07 at 11:28 AM |
Wow that must’ve been hard to hear! You’re a strong woman to not lose sight of the goal.
03.26.07 at 01:50 PM |
OMG, my heart just crumbled…..Jesus take the wheel…....
03.27.07 at 05:26 PM |
Seriously, killer. You handled it well.
03.29.07 at 08:54 AM |
That is just heartbreaking. Even when you know you’ve made the right decisions, and when the two of you are doing a good job of giving yoiur kids the support they need, that must be so hard for you.
03.30.07 at 08:21 AM |
I have 2 daughters from 2 different men. I’ve never married, and they never lived with either of their dads. I tried to do my best to raise them well and be honest with them about our situation. When my youngest was 3, she asked me if we were a happy family. She came home from school, where I assumed they were taught what a [happy] family is. I told her ‘yes’, and explained to her what makes a happy family. She told me we were not because we were not complete. it broke my heart, but I never gave up making her understand. Now, she tells me I made the right choice.
Kids will always pinch your heart.