I carefully shut down my brain at nine last night and went to sleep right after the kids were tucked in. I just didn’t want to think about putting Molly down this week after bringing her home as a puppy fifteen years ago.
She’s lived with my ex for the five years we’ve been divorced, but I see her several times a week as we run back and forth collecting the frazillion things the kids must have with them or they will DIE. Lately, she hasn’t been getting up from her bed and coming to say hello when I walk in. It’s been more like a year since she looked as if she could bother. I can’t remember how long since she barked before I made it in the door. Actually, barked, period.My ex called last night to give me the results of the biopsy and X-rays done at the Vet’s on Halloween. It’s osteosarcoma, the worst and most painful kind of bone cancer, and it’s in three of four legs, plus her ribs. Her vet has been seeing her her whole life, and when I told my ex I was stunned she never cried or let us know she was in pain, he said the vet told him that she’s just the kind of dog that masks pain.
Her RIBS. Can you imaging how it feels to breathe? To get up? And, with two abscessed teeth needing removal (the prompt for the exam), still needing to show us how much she loves us by licking us whenever we get close enough? Her tail doesn’t wag as much as it used to when you crouch down by her bed, but she moves her head next to you and snuggles down. If you lean close, she’ll give you a kiss.
We’re not telling the kids until later this week. She’s well-medicated and eating, so we’re keeping her as comfortable and happy as possible. Later this week, she’ll have a steak dinner with the kids. They know she’s old, and they’ve been prepared for her dying someday soon, because, hello, she’s a large breed and fifteen years old.
My ex says he can’t bear to be there when they put her to sleep. I can’t bear to leave her. So I’ll snuggle down with her when it’s time.
‹ close
I write. A lot.
| 
| 
| Blog Listings |
GeekySpeaky: Submit Your Site!
11.04.08 at 06:56 AM |
Good luck getting through this. Hang in there!
11.04.08 at 09:59 AM |
Oh Mindy, how sad. My husband went with the first dog, big strapping guy who had no intention of staying with her. But everytime they asked him if he wanted to say goodbye, or stay with her one more minute, he found himself saying yes, until at last he was draped over her still body sobbing.
I took the second one, who was epileptic and not responding to treatment, and who, at the tender age of 5, had walked around for a week with blood dripping from his nose. I held him close and he drifted away.
This week, we are returning our third dog to the shelter we got her from last year. We have tried everything to get her behavior issues under control, and in the end, have failed. She’s just not the right dog for us. She and we will be happier with her with another family. I can tell you, this is just as painful as putting one to sleep.
11.04.08 at 10:06 AM |
I’m so sorry. I’ll be thinking of you.
11.04.08 at 12:12 PM |
That is heart-breaking. I’m so sorry, for y’all having to say good-bye to her and for her being in such horrible pain. I can’t bear to think about when I’m going to have to do this for any of my three babies, but, like you, I know I won’t be able to bear leaving them when the time comes. I hope her last few days are peaceful. My thoughts are with you.
11.04.08 at 12:50 PM |
I am very sorry to read this.
Big hugs
Since losing our 2 fur angels last year I know how painful it is to lose them.
Love and hugs and kisses to you all.
Jeanne
X0X0
11.04.08 at 08:37 PM |
Our little orange girl passed on in our arms on the last of August. It’s seriously hard, but being there with her as she passed on was our last act of love.
Ask the vet questions. Ask what they are using to put her to sleep, ask what to expect her and her body to do. How long it will take. That way you’re prepared for what happens. We didn’t know to ask these questions, but our vet was a sweetheart and told us each step of the way what was happening and gave us ample opportunity to say our goodbyes. This was a blessing because we didn’t know what to expect. It helped us overcome our fears and doubts and made the process easier for us. I hugged her and kissed her as she passed, and it’s such a comfort to know that she knew that she was loved in her last moments.
It really is so fast and peaceful, though. Heart-wrenchingly sad, but at the same time when the dog needs to go and they’ve been in pain and are suffering, it’s the kindest thing.
11.04.08 at 10:16 PM |
We had to put our 14 yo old lovey down a few months back. It was hard, but made easier by the knowledge that she had a GREAT life and she was ready to go. We reached the point where holding on was for us, not her. When we sat with her in those last moments, she looked at us, sighed and peacefully went to sleep. She was ready.
For the kids, there is a WONDERFUL book called “All Gods Creatures Go To Heaven”. It talks about pets passing and being united in Heaven with a playmate.
Our thoughts are with you. It is a difficult and sad time when a pets time arrives.
-Jamie
11.05.08 at 01:20 AM |
Oh, Mindy ~ I’m so sorry. :( It hurts so much to lose a 4-legged family member.
I believe that all the animals you love wait for you on the other side, so that gives me some comfort. We had to put our first baby (Gretchen) down three years ago ~ she had cancer somewhere (we skipped the x-rays. etc. and just did blood work first) but she was simply miserable ~ the day before we took her in she stopped eating, so we knew it was time for her to go. I was supposed to take her to the appointment alone, but my husband showed up just as we were walking up to the office, so he was there with me. (I was so glad ~ it was really hard to do.) We held her, petted her, got kisses and gave kisses, and thanked her for all the joy and love she brought to our lives. She didn’t react to the needles at all, and was gone in a matter of moments. We held her and just cried. I think we stayed with her for over an hour before I could see straight enough to drive. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, even though I know it was the right thing for her.
I still miss her, even though we have another dog now. We still hang her Christmas stocking, and her ashes are in a lovely cedar box on my dresser. I just can’t let her go yet. Even writing this brings tears to my eyes….
I’ll be thinking of you, and your ex, and your kids ~ again, I’m so sorry about Molly. I know you have lots of wonderful memories with her and I hope and pray that those will carry you through.
{{{hugs}}}
11.05.08 at 03:34 AM |
That is so sad. I feel sorry for Molly. I hope your kids will be able to handle it.
11.05.08 at 08:05 AM |
I’m so sorry. I know how painful it is of losing Molly. My thought are with you.
11.06.08 at 03:28 PM |
(((hugs, chocolate & wine))))
Tears a’ flowin just from reading about it.
11.07.08 at 02:28 PM |
I’m soooo sad to hear about Molly. She is the best dog ever. One of the first dogs that made me feel comfortable around dogs. I will miss her sweet personality.
Hugs and kisses.
Bitty
11.16.08 at 03:49 AM |
Very pity. I’m so sorry. I’ll be thinking of you.