The Mommy Blog | Adventures from the Wonderbelly of Motherhood

Saturday, December 06, 2008

My best friend called from Chicago tonight to follow up on sad news from Dec. 2—my seventh grade teacher, a friend’s mother, and two other moms from my old parish were in a head-on collision with a semi—to let me know that the third passenger passed away tonight. Only my teacher has survived and is still in critical condition. These women were pillars of the parish, moms to friends, role models for all of us, and it breaks my heart not to be there.

I grew up with my bedroom window looking out over the funeral home, and I can just see everyone gathering there. The husband of one of the women who died used to drive the hearses. He would give me rides to school on cold and snowy days and we’d laugh at the double-takes when he pulled up to the curb to let me out. He drove us to my grandmother’s and grandfather’s funerals, and never said a word to me until I looked up and met his eyes in the rear-view mirror. He didn’t want to to try to say anything until I’d stopped crying. His brother and sister-in-law used to babysit us, and I remember drinking tea and listening to the radio there before school each morning, just down the block from my grandmother’s house, which just went on the market and will now be occupied by strangers for the first time in 60 years. I went to school with his daughter. She taught me how to dry my fine, stringy hair upside down to give it body. Funny, the things you remember.

On top of all that, another grade school friend’s little brother died tonight of a massive heart attack in the ER parking lot. He never made it inside. He used to always hang around when the girls were gathered there but we could never get annoyed enough with him to kick him out. All these families knew each other. In fact, when my friend called to let me know, they were bringing leftover food from one of the funerals to the widow’s house. These are the times I wish I’d never moved away from home.

And now my best friend is six weeks away from giving birth. I should be there. I should be there.

Pamela said on...
12.07.08 at 05:35 AM |

I know what you mean, Mindy. My cousin’s ex-wife was driving their two girls and a friend on the highway a month or so ago, when the car spun out and rolled into a ditch. The two girls, devastatingly, were killed. Needless to say my aunt is beside herself and my cousin is probably still in shock. These things happen in all families, and it’s especially difficult not to be able to be there to support your family members (and friends). Seems like for a variety of reasons—career, marriage, etc.—my husband and I are far from our families. So I get where you’re coming from. Wish I knew the answer. Thankfully, the Internet helps us be closer even when we’re far away.