TheMommyBlog

Wednesday, July 02, 2008 Children's Health, PPD Resources

A reader asked me this question, and I couldn’t respond fast enough, because I could almost feel the uncertainty and fear in her words. I’ve been there. And so have a million others, though few have the courage or courtesy to say it to your face. Then you end up feeling like a freak. It is my personal mission to prevent unnecessary freak-feeling wherever I can.

Q:Is it normal to have postpartum before giving birth?

A: I would say so! Depression is depression; it doesn’t wear a watch or check the calendar. There is so much going on in a pregnant woman’s body that it’s a testament to our species that we survive the process at all.

Post Partum Depression is what they call it when it persists for more than a few weeks or months after birth. It’s a narrow definition. For instance, I had it after I lost a twenty-week pregnancy and my milk came in even without the baby, then had it with my first, was just getting over it when the second came along, and then it rode straight on into the next pregnancy nine months later and still hasn’t gone away. We can’t call it PPD anymore, technically, but that’s when it started and now it’s plain ole depression.

It’s normal to feel this way while pregnant, and it can be hard when you don’t see anyone else going through it. Hormones and chemical turmoil do plenty to throw us off and not see clearly, and the prospect of having a baby to take care of can be as terrifying as it is thrilling.

Here’s a mantra: motherhood starts before the birth, and the pregnancy doesn’t end with the birth. You’re as good as pregnant for at least three months after birth as your body readjusts and continues to work overtime nourishing the baby. It’s just that the baby is on the outside now. The important thing is that you realize it, and try to find a safe place to vent without being judged, and if you want to write to me, you’re absolutely welcome.

They say that a pregnant woman is as different, physiologically, from a non-pregnant woman as a woman is from a man. It’s like a third gender. And it feels like it, doesn’t it?

I’m really glad you wrote and asked that question, because I thought about that exact thing so many times and didn’t know how to ask anyone. I would like to post this for others who might have the same questions, keeping you anonymous of course, anything you say to me is confidential. But I think this is important.

If you’re up to reading, these books will definitely give you perspective. They literally saved my life.

• The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy
• The Parent Trip
• The Girlfriend’s Guide to Surviving the First Year
• The Nursing Mother’s Companion
• The Expectant Parents’ Companion
• The Nursing Mother’s Guide to Weaning
• The Pregnancy Book: Month-by-Month
• The Birth Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Safe and Satisfying Birth
• The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two
• The Attachment Parenting Book

Good luck, and let me know how you’re doing…

Mindy