TheMommyBlog

Saturday, April 10, 2004 Me, Me, Me

Now, I have something very shocking to tell you, and I know it’s something that none of you anticipated; I was blown away myself when I learned of it:

As soon as my project was completed, I got sick.

Whahuafuaaa? What are the odds? I mean, I was getting at least 4-5 hours of sleep a night, in 18-minute chunks, and was eating frequent meals--M&Ms for protein and mini-Milky Ways for calcium--and taking lots of (blogging) breaks.

I was exercising my heart vigorously, I mean what else are deadlines for, right? And I got plenty of fresh air each time I rolled down my window at the drive-thru. What could go wrong?

First, within two days of turning in that report, our house was ravaged by the stomach flu. Which doesn’t really need to be revisited here.

Then all week, a strange, low-level bug with aches and hmmm… what’s that term? It’s so apt… ah, yes: total freaking ragginess.

And now, I am fairly certain I have strep throat. Thirty seconds with my trusty compact mirror and a light revealed pretty little spots at the back of my throat, the icing on the two-ton lymph glands taking up residence under my chin. All kidding aside, I could just let my neck go limp and have a nap; they’ll hold my head right up.

I have concluded from this puzzling sequence of events that changes to how future projects are assigned and completed will be necessary. For instance, if the timeline is such that I have to spend my well-earned respite going for tests and feeling generally miserable, the least my bosses can do is carry these glands around themselves. I’d be more than happy to help find a place to store them.