TheMommyBlog

I would have loved to seen your take on this.  How in the world do you guys choose which episodes you’ll be a part of?

I’m on the unpopular side of believing in spanking. Yes, I hear the gasps and “HOW DARE YOU!?!“‘s already, but yes we spank. I’m not gonna lie.  BUT we only spank as a last resort and it’s never hard enough to be considered violent. First it’s a warning, then it’s time out, and sometimes when nothing else will work, a smack on the butt is warrented. I’ve only had to spank my girls a few times. I’m able to use the treat of a spanking very effectively without having to actually do it on those times when time out doesn’t do enough.

Do I think it teaches my children to be violent? No I don’t. I know parents that are against spanking, yet they were spanked as a child. If its true that it makes them violent, then wouldn’t those parents also spank? I’m not a violent person and I’m not looking to hurt my children physical or emotionally. I love them very, very much. But yes, I occasionaly spank.

I think each parent has the right to discipline as they see fit. If you don’t spank and that works, then that’s awesome. But this is what works for us. I certainly wouldn’t look down on someone for NOT spanking… but I’ll tell you from past experience, people are quick to judge those of us that do spank.

When my kids were babies I was all, “we don’t spank” and “we don’t use the word NO”.  I thought (incorrectly) that redirection and choosing phrases like “instead of coloring on the wall, let’s get a color book” would be all it took for amazingly, well behaved youngsters.

Boy was I wrong.  Each one of my five children are different.  One only needs a verbal reprimand and a prompt to explain appropriate behavior to me… Another, nothing seemed to work for (we threw away toys and she would say, “I don’t care”). 

So, I’ve had to take a differing stance on punishment with each child.  I’m a firm believer that discipline is an ongoing process… discipline is how we love our children, how we teach them… punishment is the consequence for inappropriate behavior (whether that be spanking, time-outs, grounding, etc…)

We also try to keep our rules to a few important ones that are reinforced (being kind to others, speaking respectfully, food and drink only at the table, doing what one is asked with a happy heart).  This makes it easier for the kids to follow the rules.

And then there are the days I want to pull my hair out and scream “What is it going to take?”.

*sigh* such is life.

To spank or not to spank? I agree with Polka Dot Mommy…there is no right or wrong method of discipline. My three kids have such different sensitivity levels that I have to constantly switch gears depending on who I am reprimanding/redirecting/punishing/teaching or whatever you want to call it. In moments of desperation, I have tried a spank or two, and it really didn’t work.  For my oldest child, I take away a privilege. My middle child responds well to time-outs. And my littlest responds very well to a firm “No!” (but she’s not 2 yet, so that will likely change).

I strive for consistency.  That’s one thing the experts seem to agree on!