No,really,thisisquitefunny

You see, I’ve had a couple side jobs recently that have absorbed time and attention I’d otherwise waste spend here.

Upside? More money!

Downside? No updates! Plus! No ad revenue! Not that I wouldn’t be here for you anyway.

Anyway. The irony is so thick around here (HOW THICK IS IT?), it’s still working out how there can be a Jewish elf in Santa’s workshop in The Polar Express. Actually, that’s not such an obvious question. I mean, how big does a crisis of faith have to be to take a job working for iconic Christian archetypes at the North Pole?

Well, I’ve been trying to film a few videos about how eating better can help my stressful days become more manageable, but the shooting schedule, wardrobe changes, scripts, and extensive instructions are driving me up the fucking wall. Which is very stressful. See paragraph above.

Oh good Lord, my son needs help in the bath. I swear, these kids are old enough to program an iPod Touch, what could they possibly need in the bath? I keep thinking of the butler in Arthur.

Arthur: Hobson?
Hobson: Yes.
Arthur: Do you know what I’m going to do?
Hobson: No, I don’t.
Arthur: I’m going to take a bath.
Hobson: I’ll alert the media.
Arthur: [rises] Do you want to run my bath for me?
Hobson: That’s what I live for.
[Arthur exits]
Hobson: Perhaps you would like me to come in there and wash your dick for you, you little shit.

Comments

Tonya Tonya said on...
01.05.10 at 09:11 AM |

I too find myself endlessly referencing the movie Arthur as I juggle a toddler and part time work. So sing it sister! We are listening!
Adhocmom.com

jMom jMom said on...
01.05.10 at 10:14 AM |

Ah yes. My daughter was alternately blaming me for her alarm waking her up this morning and making her cry and *not* setting it yesterday (a teacher in-service day) so she could get used to it.

Excuse me, princess, for letting you sleep in after taking you to see a Christmas pantomime and dinner out the night before. And not providing the Full Disclosure statement at bedtime last night.

Not enough eyes to roll this morning as I suck down the java and swat your sweet behind out the door. Happy Tuesday!

DianaF (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) said on...
01.05.10 at 12:36 PM |

Glad to hear the water’s still on.  I don’t know how you do it.  You were born to multi-task.  I remember watching Arthur in the theatre.  I was 12 (1981) and watched it with my friends.  We laughed hysterically at the “wash your d***” line.

mindy mindy said on...
01.05.10 at 12:46 PM |

Oddly, I tallied up my fees and income for the year, and it’s not half bad. (More like 75%! *cymbals*) The constant feeling of teetering on the edge comes from never knowing where they next one is coming from and the resultant inconsistency in cash flow. If someone had just handed me a bi-weekly paycheck for what I earned in 2009, I would have been a lot saner! Not rich, but easier to live with.

heather heather said on...
01.10.10 at 07:23 AM |

One of the best lines of the Arthur movie and I use it frequently in reference to my boys (5 and 7).  Since they often bathe together I often use the fish conversation between Arthur and Hobson as well:

Hobson: Bathing is a lonely business.
Arthur: Except for fish.
Hobson: I beg your pardon, did you say, “Except for fish?”
Arthur: Yes.  Fish all bathe together.  Although they do tend to eat one another.  I often think, “fish must get awfully tired of seafood.”  What are your thoughts, Hobson?
Hobson: (slaps Arthur on the head)

This may not be exact as I’ve done it from memory, but you get the idea. :)

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