Friday, June 05, 2009 
Punch Line Friday
Punch Line Friday
I need your funny bones today, people. No jokes, just the punchlines. Leave ‘em in the comments. I’ll start you off:
“That would be wrong. Besides, I don’t have a dog.”
Winner gets a $100 gift card from Home Depot for Father’s Day.
Visit your local Home Depot to find three new gift card styles to choose from, including a gift card that look s and feels like duct tape and a gift card that comes with a FREE 3/8” drill bit! Click on this link - www.homedepot.com/giftcards- to have a gift card delivered directly to your dad!
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06.05.09 at 11:04 AM |
I’m sorry. It’ll never happen again. May I ask though - what did the chicken do?
06.05.09 at 12:32 PM |
“have you got any paper?”
06.05.09 at 12:34 PM |
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! that should completely win, but no one will understand why. And they don’t have Home Depots in Glasgow!
06.05.09 at 12:36 PM |
She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 436.”
06.05.09 at 12:37 PM |
“I’ll have a beer and a mop.”
06.05.09 at 12:38 PM |
Can we enter more than once? If so:
Mildred turns to her slowly, and says, “Me?! I thought you were driving!”
06.05.09 at 12:39 PM |
“If he’s gonna be using that rusty old nail, I’m gonna need a tetanus shot!”
06.05.09 at 12:40 PM |
One last entry (if allowed)
Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled…
“SUPPLIES!!”
06.05.09 at 12:47 PM |
“Who’s the entertainment? Your sister?”
06.05.09 at 12:49 PM |
Oh, I’m sorry, I thought every house had a toilet.
06.05.09 at 12:50 PM |
No soap, radio!
06.05.09 at 12:56 PM |
06.05.09 at 02:08 PM |
And the baby Mole said, “All I can smell is molasses!”
06.05.09 at 02:24 PM |
Silly rabbit, kicks are for trids!
06.05.09 at 02:56 PM |
One of the Marines then exclaimed, “Damn! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”
06.05.09 at 03:41 PM |
That’s what I get for getting my one wish from a hard-of-hearing Genie.
06.05.09 at 04:28 PM |
I gave it a British accent and named that bitch Brenda!
06.05.09 at 05:57 PM |
“one dead baby, two scoops of ice cream!”
oooh, bad I know…I can’t believe I just wrote that, but how can you resist a good dead baby joke? don’t answer that!
06.05.09 at 07:49 PM |
...and the 80-year-old Chinese lady says to her husband, “The sex is okay, but why you keep saying ‘Number 69! Number 69!’? Why you want beef with broccoli?”
06.05.09 at 07:58 PM |
Wife: You wear shorts!
06.05.09 at 08:38 PM |
It’s a knick-knack Paddywack! Give the frog a loan!
06.05.09 at 08:52 PM |
If I don’t change my name, it’s going to be mud!
06.06.09 at 05:33 AM |
No, honest, I just ate an ice cream.
06.06.09 at 06:02 AM |
“But the kids like going to the store that way!”
06.06.09 at 10:01 AM |
Love all of these! SO funny!
06.06.09 at 11:22 AM |
a pilot, you racist bastard!
06.06.09 at 03:10 PM |
“I would, but I need the eggs.”
06.06.09 at 09:38 PM |
I’m too drunk to taste this chicken…
06.07.09 at 06:49 AM |
Put a little boogie in it
06.07.09 at 11:35 AM |
I felt bad that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
06.07.09 at 07:30 PM |
I know… that’s not my finger.
06.07.09 at 07:41 PM |
And my contribution:
“A stick.”
I’ll go through these and have a winner for you on Monday!
06.08.09 at 06:46 AM |
I’m not, you just didn’t give me time to get my tights off.
06.10.09 at 09:41 AM |
Okay, we have a winner! The gift certificate goes to Erica Lewy for:
Mostly because I can’t even begin to imagine the joke preceding it. The others were great, some of my faves, and honorable mention goes to zeno with some of the funniest but he’s disqualified because he knows I’ve heard them and lives in Glasgow. Prizes for continental US only, buddy!
06.11.09 at 03:27 AM |
And all the sailors were marooned.