TheMommyBlog

I beamed at P, still thinking it was so cute that he was still in Toddler Land where such knowledge didn’t exist. What else was coming at him? Uh oh, his son has Dylan’s Kindergarten teacher. I said, my daughter was fine whenever she subbed, liked her a lot, but Miss Thang hated my son, said he was the worst behaved child she’s encountered in seventeen years of teaching. Oh, really? I wanted to say. Wow, you’re much older than I thought. “But then Dylan is a middle child, and this is your eldest, right?”

“Yes...” He started to look nervous.

“The calmer one? More responsible? Listens well?”

He relaxed. “Definitely.”

“Then he’ll be fine. It’ll take the edge off his being a boy. I think she likes pretty little girls who don’t break into song and do pratfalls at circle time.” He stared. “It got better.” Pause. “His teachers have all loved him since first grade.” I could tell we were overloading him. I was overloading him. But then again I remembered that he and his girlfriend were crack softball players and kicked our asses there and back again about five hundred times.

It was time to collect our Styrofoam cups, mingle with the moms we hadn’t seen all summer, and stand in line to meet the fourth principal in five years. Don’t even ask.

I said, “Here’s my card if you ever have questions. You know, just until you figure out how to work the system.” He gave me one of his as well, and we parted just in time for me to run over to a group of moms to flash my ring, only to find out that they already knew, because, you know, I have a BLOG and have been talking about it for a week.

“You know, that just takes all the fun out of exciting news.”

“My husband doesn’t know. You can tell him.” I nudged him and mumbled, “I got engaged last week.” “Ah, congratulations!” He didn’t squeal like a girlfriend would have, and didn’t even glance at my finger. But then I saw someone who I knew didn’t follow this blog and ran over, all breathless, placed my hand on my collarbone and gasped, “Guess what?”

“You’re pregnant!”

“Good Lord, woman, is that all you have? Like I don’t have enough babies? And am divorced and unemployed?”

I waggled my fingers. “SQUEEEAAAALLL!” That was more like it. “Ooh, I like him. It’s about time! When’s the date?”

“We’re letting it sink in with the kids. Daphne worried about where he would sleep, because we didn’t have enough beds. So there’s a learning curve there. Besides, I want to file as Head of Household this year.”

“And your ex?”

“He’s the most excited, aside from us, that is. He’s like a demented girlfriend with the congratulations and questions and all around thrill. He had my parents over to celebrate with his parents who were visiting from out of state. He even invited the neighbors.”

“Whoa.”

“I know!”

And then I was off to introduce myself to the new principal. “Hi, I know you won’t remember my name, but I just wanted to make contact. I’m Mindy Roberts, and I have three children here. You’ll probably see them in the office from time to time. Just a heads-up. Roberts.”

“Ahhh, thanks. I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Don’t worry, only two are boys.”

And then I scrambled for cash to buy hot lunches from the office because I just knew that no one had thought to pack food. I was right. They came home starving and jonesing for their DS’s, so the boys holed up in their room to try to defeat the game while Daphne and I curled up and slept off her first long, hard day as a first grader.