Bad Mood DudeSo I received a call this afternoon from my lender’s underwriter on the status of my refinance application… and I swear to you that she delivered the following news to me in a complete deadpan:
My current balance is fivehundredy coconuts and the rate is 4.25%. So, if I fork over four thousand dollars in closing costs, they will cheerfully raise my rate a point and a half and give meOur appraisal came in at twelvehundredy coconuts, so we can lend a maximum of eighthundredy coconuts at 5.75%.
She informed me of all of this without cracking a smile. I had to point out the obvious disadvantages of accepting their offer, to which she responded, “Oh, yeah.” I yanked the application.
You’d think that when you call a lender and say you need to refinance to buy someone out of your house that they might think I need more than three hundred clams.
I will be out of the office tomorrow, getting fitted for a barrel and suspenders…
P.S. When you write a massive check to the lawyer to help you mediate the division of property? Make sure the check doesn’t bounce or it will totally ruin your day.
P.P.S. Lest you stay up late fretting over my financial well-being, Gil did loans for the first several years of our relationship, so I know the business backwards and forwards. I have already locked the rate on a good loan with a former colleague who now does loans right across the street. I’m in good hands, if totally fricking broke.
I write. A lot.
I also design stuff and collect funny things kids say. Oh, and please buy my book. It's very funny.
I also review books and keep track of them in The Mommy Blog Amazon Book Store.
Holiday Toy List at Amazon.com
There are 35 people reading.
Subscribe to the Feed
![](http://www.momversation.com"><img src="http://themommyblog.net/images/momv.png" alt="Momversation" title="Momversation" width="174" height="82" /></a>
<ul class="member-banners">
<li><!-- FM BC Parenting Fed Badge Zone -->
<script type=){kind=link}
My son was in the same room as me when I was getting dressed one day. I scratched the top of my left breast a little and he said, “Mommy, you are touching your —-!”
I said to him, “I just have an itch,” to which he responded, “That’s *your* excuse!”
Jet, 4
Jax: Mommy, here’s a little piece of toilet paper to wipe the tip.
Mommy: The tip of what?
Jax: Your penis.
Jax, 3
After being told to go outside and pick up the dog poop, he goes outside, whines and complains. He comes back in and says, “Mom, I think the dog over-pooped.”
Luke, 8
When I woke up one morning with a sore throat, raspy voice, and fever, my three-year-old, Emilie, asked me what was wrong. I said, “Mama has a cold…” and she felt my cheek for a minute before saying, “No. You has a hot!”
Emilie, 3
Do you know how I memorized 2 x 11? I have this fake pencil in my brain, and it writes down the multiplication!!
Hugo, 6
- © The MommyBlog.com and Wonderbelly.com
- illustration by TearDrop
- website design by Moxie Design Studios™
The Mommy Blog™, Wonderbelly™, Mommy Confidential™, and PearSoup™ are trademarks of Wonderbelly™. All rights reserved. -
07.15.04 at 02:27 PM |
ACK!!! That bites, mightily. So sorry. Different lender? Go try your luck in Vegas? More chocolate? *hugs*
07.15.04 at 03:17 PM |
Refinancing for any reason just sucks. I’m glad you have a friend in the business who helped out though.
07.15.04 at 03:42 PM |
You lost me at lawyer and pay.......I pretty much glossed over at that point!
word submittal “gives” heh
07.15.04 at 04:34 PM |
HUH??? I’m glad you understand all of that. I would be completely screwed!
07.15.04 at 07:02 PM |
Sucktiliocious! That’s the epitimy of horrific suckage.
Hope all goes well.
07.15.04 at 07:04 PM |
Mindy, I sure hope that you’re able get through all of the “bitemebits” soon. You’ve had your share.
P.S. My husband refers to dollars as clams too (e.g. it cost 300 clams), what’s up with that?
07.15.04 at 07:13 PM |
WIsh I understood money talk. Wish I had money, and then I maybe I would understand money talk. Hope you have money soon!
I always refer to them as bucks.
07.15.04 at 07:53 PM |
We refer to it as “large” in our house. Way too much Sopranos. So all you can get is 300 large? Time to wack someone.
07.15.04 at 08:15 PM |
hoping the refi goes smoothly for you… we’re in the middle of doing the same thing to consolidate all of our freakin’ bills, so I’ll be crossing my fingers and toes along with you.
07.15.04 at 08:35 PM |
Sounds like time to gather the kids together in bed and group cuddle...nothing else matters.
07.16.04 at 01:53 AM |
Think of it as a ‘trade in value’. You get a house and you unload X years of grief/duress/angst/etc. To be rid of that giant weight (and I don’t mean the house) will be worth it in the long term. Oops. I spoke the unspeakable! My word is ‘order’. (Yes, I’d like to supersize those fries please!)
07.16.04 at 05:32 AM |
I like Lisa’s Sopranos idea.
Maybe it’s just the concept of whacking someone.
Whack. Yeah. I’m all about the whack. For large. Heh.
07.16.04 at 07:28 AM |
So, you know, apropos of life in general? At my daughter’s school there is a couple who is getting divorced. And I like what they have done, so I’m posting it here for the world (or what seems like the world) to see. They have rented an apartment, furnished it together, and each take turns staying in it for the week. The kids never move - they are always at home, in their own beds, and the parents rotate through the house. I’ve never heard of anyone doing it - I quite admire it. But it takes some strong amicability b/t parents. Not sure how practical it really is…
07.16.04 at 11:06 AM |
I told mine, “I gave you three children. You are giving me this house.” And he did! Then I refinanced and now I have only 3 years left on the mortgage. After 12 years, he still lives in an apartment but that’s his problem, not mine.