TheMommyBlog

Sunday, March 19, 2006 QOTD

Never one to stop at one Quote of the Day, I offer the few I can recall at eleven p.m.:

• “At first it was disgusting, and then it was okay, and then it started smelling disgusting again. Is there anything else for dinner?”
• “Here, Mama, I drew this for you, but I made a mistake—I was cutting it out and I cut off a leg—OUCH! OW! HELP!”
• “Kids, I don’t want you eating with your hands. Please use your forks.” *pause* “And no eating with your feet, either.” *disappointed moan from Dylan*
• “Mama, will you light these [patio hurricane lamps with huge candles inside] for me so I can hang them all over my room?”
• “Gosh, this is taking forever. I almost fell asleep [watching the microwave timer tick down from twenty minutes for popcorn fish]!”
• “Mom, can you rewind your iPod to the fable about the c0ck and the a$$ living in peace?”
• “Logan, look! Take your fork and poke yourself in the peepee as hard as you can and see what it feels like!”

I was the class comedian. The class clown was the guy at graduation who walked out to get his diploma, would hike up his gown, be totally naked, moon his parents and run offstage. That was the class clown. I was the comedian. I was the guy who talked him into doing it.
—Billy Crystal, TIME Magazine

And one from this morning:

• “Mama, are you always smart?”