Fun with IMhim: Just feelin’ a bit low, low, low, I guess…
him: Changes with the wind…
me: join the club--we have jackets
him: Wow. It must be difficult to find a jacket designer to make a jacket with a bunch of fingers pointing at the word “loser"…
me: we just do the “L”
me: on a crest
him: Crest: Thumb and forefinger…
me: and the elite members? Have it pointing the wrong way
me: as if they were reading it instead of others
him: Hmmm… I’ll have to check mine. I think it’s a depiction of God giving me the bird…
me: or laughing
him: or both…
me: covering the phone and making talky hands to the angels
me: twirling his finger at his head
him: For guys I think it’s a lightning bolt to the groin…
me: forget where I heard this: there is no devil, just God when he’s drunk
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I also design stuff and collect funny things kids say. Oh, and please buy my book. It's very funny.
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My son was in the same room as me when I was getting dressed one day. I scratched the top of my left breast a little and he said, “Mommy, you are touching your —-!”
I said to him, “I just have an itch,” to which he responded, “That’s *your* excuse!”
Jet, 4
Jax: Mommy, here’s a little piece of toilet paper to wipe the tip.
Mommy: The tip of what?
Jax: Your penis.
Jax, 3
After being told to go outside and pick up the dog poop, he goes outside, whines and complains. He comes back in and says, “Mom, I think the dog over-pooped.”
Luke, 8
When I woke up one morning with a sore throat, raspy voice, and fever, my three-year-old, Emilie, asked me what was wrong. I said, “Mama has a cold…” and she felt my cheek for a minute before saying, “No. You has a hot!”
Emilie, 3
Do you know how I memorized 2 x 11? I have this fake pencil in my brain, and it writes down the multiplication!!
Hugo, 6
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02.09.05 at 04:03 PM |
I have a Hallmark card I love so much that I saved it for myself. Now may be a good time to share it:
Do you ever get that feeling that your guardian angel went out for a smoke?
And of course, no inside message.
Word is effort, as in try to make an
effort. Oh hell, just try and make a good drink.02.09.05 at 09:15 PM |
Um, no. You totally need to have “Pink Lady” jackets. I’m just saying.
02.10.05 at 04:28 AM |
Too funny! My best friend and I say, when God gets bored he pics one or the other of us to play with… and God doesn’t take very good care of his toys.