FamilyI received a sobering text from my ex last night while at Guy’s office Christmas party (no shiner! whew.): When he went to pick up the kids from the church’s after school care program, they gave him a huge box full of of food, plus a present for each of the children.
Holy cow. A charity package. Usually our kids deliver those with the church program to those who need them. I’d forgotten that he’d secured a scholarship for the children to attend free because we earn below the poverty line.
I read the text to Guy, and then went to sit in the ladies room for a while. Ruined my makeup. Shame mixed with gratitude. No idea how to react. So relieved that there will be something for the kids until I get paid again.
When Guy asked why I was so upset, I said, “I just realized that I hadn’t eaten all day because I didn’t want to cut into the supply. The kids are home for two weeks starting tomorrow.”
And then I went back to sit in the ladies room again.
This just can’t get any more tragically comical.
Oh, wait, it can. One of the children just called home for lunch money because you need an ID to swipe in the cafeteria. It’s only forty cents. And I had to be called for it. I shuffled through my drawers and found two whole dollars in change, put it in an envelope and left it at the school office.
And now I’m going to sit down again until I stop thinking about it.
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12.18.09 at 06:22 PM |
Aw, I feel you. Divorce sucks in that regard. Both my ex and I are also under the poverty line and it just feels like there’s no way out. I’m sorry things are so rough. As someone on my own blog commented, the only way out is through. If you hang on, I’ll hang on, and someday when we’re rich and famous, we can look back and laugh at the weird things we had to do when we were poor. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself anyways. Hugs to you.
12.19.09 at 12:40 AM |
Mindy,
Do you need some help with food right now?
I would be happy to bring a bag of groceries over.
I live in San Jose.
I am a single mom too.
Let me know.
Melissa Perry
12.19.09 at 04:54 AM |
Melissa, thank you so much - you are very thoughtful and I would still like to meet you so we have someone local to commiserate with!
Guy heard this story and then got a look at how much gas I had in the car, and hid some money in my purse yesterday. He had to write to tell me to look for it (knew I wouldn’t accept, sneaky bastard). My mom wrote from out of town that she’d have done the same. I think she likes him.
I was actually going to take the kids on a Field! Trip! to Second Harvest to volunteer a few hours… I still might. This is a good lesson for them. I haven’t been hearing after each commercial, “I WANT THAT FOR CHRISTMAS!”
12.19.09 at 07:56 AM |
Your family is in my prayers. It must be a challenge to be gifted a dream trip to Asia AND worry about the necessities for your family. I live in an neighborhood where many people are trying to adjust to their new reality due to the economy. Why is it so much easier to transition UP in lifestyle expectations? You are not alone.
You have many talents and gifts. It’s great that you’re still able to put effort into giving back.
12.19.09 at 08:44 AM |
Mindy my heart is with you.
I grew up in an often similar, sometimes worse situation, and looking back, one thing that I wonder about is how my parents felt the whole time. Did they feel guilty, or had it become such a way of life that they didn’t even notice the money issues anymore? Or did they take comfort in the reality that we all were fed, clothed & loved sufficiently?
I think you’ve discovered one of the bright sides… The invaluable lessons and ways of thinking for your children. I learned to always be thankful of the things I have, to adjust well to anything, anyone, & anywhere, and to always know that regardless of where I am, someone else is somewhere worse, and I could be doing something to help.
As a result, I have spent my entire life working to never be in the same boat that my family was. But a part of me wishes that I could somehow simulate moments of not having everything, so that my children will learn what it’s like to go without.
12.20.09 at 03:52 AM |
Mindy…. Thank you for sharing. If it’s any comfort…. am really struggling financially here as well. Paying groceries with my dad’s credit card extension makes me feel really humbled by their generosity and wishing things would be different at the same time. I was the “independent” kid who left home 19 and supported myself since then. With the divorce this year and raising three kids on my own, living in a gated neighbourhood that I cannot really afford on a single income .... I am just hoping and praying the new year brings new opportunities for all of us.
Lots of love, peace and light for you and yours.
12.20.09 at 08:14 PM |
Aw, Mindy.
You are doing such an amazing job with your kids.
I wish I lived closer so I could double-batch some cooking; pay it forward for all the help we’ve been given during Amanda’s hospitalization.
12.21.09 at 03:03 AM |
Hi Mindy,
I hope your okay now. As i was looking at you pic you look so happy and great. I never though that you have that kind of problem. That was really tough but don’t give up. God is always there for us.
How I wish i lived near you so i can help you whenever you needed some help.
play cribbage
12.24.09 at 02:15 AM |
I have spent my entire life working to never be in the same boat that my family was. But a part of me wishes that I could somehow simulate moments of not having everything, so that my children will learn what it’s like to go without.