TheMommyBlog

Wednesday, March 11, 2009 Family

Okay, this made me laugh today, and for that I’ll plug the book and pick up a copy. Haven’t been smiling a lot lately, aside from the three hours I sat with a grin on my face while preparing for and then taping The Oprah Winfrey Show from a makeshift studio in my daughter’s room. Oy. My cheek muscles.

Eric Ruhalter wrote to tell me about a book he’s written called “The KidDictionary: A Book of Words Parents Need But Don’t Have.” It’s a glossary of words he made up and compiled and designed with photos when he found himself unable to describe a great many of the phenomena predominant in his life owing to the fact that he has children. I love it:

WISHJACK: To maliciously blow out the candles on another child’s birthday cake.

KODICK: The child who refuses to cooperate in the taking of a family photograph

INVISIBOOBOO (in-VIZ-uh-boo-boo) n: – The site on a child’s body where you unnecessarily applied a Band-Aid to appease them when they got hurt, though did not bleed.

THREEMAGEDDON (three-muh-GED-in)–n.: The supposed hellfire and brimstone that would erupt should an annoyed mother reach the third digit while counting aloud to 3 to get a non-compliant child to get his act together..

“ONE !….TWOOOOOOO !!!!….. “

And his signature got a chuckle too, because, hell, haven’t we all been there? He signed off with “Creator/Designer/Publisher/Marketer/Publicist/Head Bottle Washer.” Give the guy some love. I’m sure you’ll pick up a few substitutes for curse words to be used when you can’t just yell, “FAMANGIA!” That’s my particular fancy word for polite company.