TheMommyBlog

Monday, March 08, 2004 Familybits

1. “Are you missing a child? What we have here sort of looks like one of yours...”

2. “Ma’am? This is the FBI on a recorded line...”

3. “Hi, Mindy? This is President and CEO of your organization. I’m here at Chairman of the Board’s office, and I have your major project that was supposed to be automated, but was in fact a royal pain in the ass to produce because I’ve asked you to “massage” the “automated” data endlessly with me, and I have a couple of questions before I show it to Chairman. [over shoulder] I’ll be right there! So, a couple of these numbers don’t seem to add up. For instance, this and this. Could you look into it?”

Yes! they! do! too! add! up! Aaaaauuugggghhhh! Look, look, do the math! 95% plus 5% equals 100%! Line A plus line B equals line C! It does too bloody well add up!!! *sobs*

Of course, President and CEO agreed, three hours after leaving Chairman’s office. But what did you say about it while you were there???

*helplessly watches ten years of flawless reputation swirl down drain*