TheMommyBlog

Does the PB&J;Otter Noodle dance....
**sings***
Noodle. Use your noodle. Do the Noodle Dance.
**wiggles - lightbulb goes on overhead**
Hey, you could build a giant vat, fill it with wine and drink yourself to Monday!

That might work.

Well --- I’m relieved… you too, I’m cerain, can figure out how to compensate one another for damages done ....

I’d say some time away with each other—no kids - no projects—nothing but you two—might be a good start…

Bob

shoot—I totally screwed up that post—my spelling was horrific—you too? What’s up with that? My writing skills have deteriorated because of all the angst ove all this!

I think my transmission just fell out on the floor!

maybe an attempt at removing 6 six years from his life?

through brute force or otherwise?!

tell him you’ve already seen a solictor and he’s started proceedings which means having to get a divorce and then re-marry! all in the same day! aye carumba!

actually i just like the idea of a big vat full of wine.

enjoy the music!

well, I am relieved to hear there is a hope of working on it. But when one gets angry...it is awfully terrifying and terrible to threaten divorce. Sheeesh! Men!

In case this was a sign of trouble, I second the motion of a mini-break with Gil after your project is done. Someplace close, with lots to do in case talking is a bust, and near the ocean so you can pitch him in.

Everyone else is recommending that you take a vacation with him… I recommend taking a vacation without him.  Use the time to focus on just you and what you need in your life and what he can help you with.  Figure out what you want and what your priorities are before you try to figure out his.

Time to do some serious talking ... perhaps it can work, perhaps not.  You can’t throw around the D word unless you really mean it.  I recently filed, surprising the hubby.  I don’t know what made it think I would live unhappy forever.  I really meant it but he took it as a wake up call and we are working on things.  While it wasn’t just an idle threat, I did pull the court papers, giving it some working time.  Good luck to you guys!  I agree with the other folks ... take some time with just you two to really talk.

Oh, goodness… Marriage ain’t easy and the hardest years are those with little kids in the house.  Or so they say.  But what do they know anyways?

bah...call me unforgiving, call me heartless, call me whatever you want but i vote you introduce him and his stuff to the curb.

your emotions are not toys for him to play with.  how many times has stuff like this happened?  i’m not claiming marriage is easy but there comes a point when enough is enough.  it sounds to me like there is a history of unhappiness in your relationship.  choose happiness...happiness is good.

*steps off soapbox*

i would take a break alone and think about what you want out of life, exactly.

remember, you only have one life, so make it a happy one

good luck xx

Yes, the d-word is not something we throw around when we’re angry. That’s called ‘manipulation’ and it’s not okay.

Marital therapy?

I hope you can get a handle on all of this very soon, because really it doesn’t sound like either one of you are happy but you owe it to yourselves and your babies to find out how to make it work and if not, you need to know you gave it everything you could.

I know, I was going through something quite similar last fall. It was pure hell on earth but I"m so glad we went through it.

Good luck!

Wow.  The lawyer’s billing quote must have been a doozie.

[sorry]

don’t wish to jump on advice bandwagon--but of all the approaches above, marriage counselling, to me, seems like a no-brainer. threatening D is like threatening suicide--no matter how much you might say you don’t really mean it, it’s in there somewhere.

as for forgiveness--apart from that idea about the little laser gun to erase a memory, I wonder--does it really exist? I dunno ... I tend to think more in terms of letting something go, than of forgiving. and payback--it’s like some dharmic dude says: you can pick up hot coals and throw them. maybe they’ll hit the target, maybe not--but either way, your hand gets burned.

wow Mindi,shocked twice in one week...I can only imagine how you feel.I agree with those that say you still need to figure out things on your own.Ya know.Don’t let this become something he feels free to throw around everytime he’s a little stressed.Hugs!

He owes you BIG time. Making him sit, beg, and bark like a dog for several years might so the trick.

I’m with Mary.. I see much grovelling in his future. Vacations (both together and separately) sound good too, and so does counseling, if you guys are gonna work things out.

Geez, what a roller coaster you’re on this week.. I sure hope things smooth out soon.

Wow.  Okay world, welcome to our most personal matters.  If we can work through this, anyone can work through anything.

You ROCK!  Make him sweat it out for a while.  Maybe you can get a nice vacation in the Bahamas for the six years he took off of your life!

Hey Gil, nice to meet you!  My dear husband occasionally posts in my comments too.  The poor guy.  LOL