TheMommyBlog

As I was drying my hair this morning, Daphne came running in to perform her daily ritual (”Mommy! It’s too loud!"), and then stayed to play with the goodies on the vanity. She held up various clips and watches and makeup for me to identify and admire, and at one point, picked up my Tweezerman tweezers. Uh oh. These little babies are a wonder of engineering, and are extremely sharp. I do love them so. So I continued drying my hair, now watching her very carefully to see what she would do and poised to snatch them away if necessary. I actually remember thinking, “I’m six inches away. What could go wrong?”

She knew that they were off-limits. I could tell by the way she paused to see if I would do anything to stop her, and then started moving slowly and carefully, holding them just so, almost like chopsticks. She then began to cast about for something to pick up. Hairband? Too thin. Watch? Nope. Ah. Yes. Toothpaste. She picked up the tube, which was open (why do people do that??? Why??), got toothpaste all over one hand, and proceeded to to try to clean it off her hand with the tweezers, pausing to brush her hair away from her face with, you guessed it, toothpaste. I turned off the dryer (which was pointed somewhere over my shoulder warming the ceiling all this time) and opened the drawer to put it away. She began to walk away at the same time, which she always does when she senses I am about to confiscate something, and she became entangled in the cord and I looked down to see her pulling up short with the cord all around her neck. She of course began to trip and I nealry strung up my own daughter with the Conair.

At this point, she was covered with toothpaste and still holding the razor-sharp Tweezermans, and was flailing about and trying to free herself with both hands. I was trying to hold the hot dryer away and up and disentangle her at the same time, while beseeching her to stay still and put down the tweezers.

Moment of clarity: You know, when you don’t let children play with something dangerous, they don’t tend to learn its proper name.

“Daphne, hon, hold still, and put the tweezers down.” “Aaahhh!” “Daphne, put the tweezers down and I will help you!” I could see her processing, and then she decided I wanted her to put the toothpaste down. On her nightgown. Arrrrgghh.