I’ve been sitting on this IM exchange for a little while because I was stuck for a way to sanitize it, but it makes me laugh so hard each time I read it that I finally decided to just post it.
A friend and I had been chatting about something that didn’t come through at work, and at the same time, I got a shitty request from a colleague. Coincidentally, we had also been riffing about a certain group of people, but in fairness, I’ll not use the group’s name.
For lack of a suitable alternative, I’ll use a completely unrelated term, a word I picked up from a useful site called Silly Words:
yipaa n. extreme insult which is true
So, just work with me here, mmmkay?
I write. A lot.
I also design stuff and collect funny things kids say. Oh, and please buy my book. It's very funny.
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My son was in the same room as me when I was getting dressed one day. I scratched the top of my left breast a little and he said, “Mommy, you are touching your —-!”
I said to him, “I just have an itch,” to which he responded, “That’s *your* excuse!”
Jet, 4
Jax: Mommy, here’s a little piece of toilet paper to wipe the tip.
Mommy: The tip of what?
Jax: Your penis.
Jax, 3
After being told to go outside and pick up the dog poop, he goes outside, whines and complains. He comes back in and says, “Mom, I think the dog over-pooped.”
Luke, 8
When I woke up one morning with a sore throat, raspy voice, and fever, my three-year-old, Emilie, asked me what was wrong. I said, “Mama has a cold…” and she felt my cheek for a minute before saying, “No. You has a hot!”
Emilie, 3
Do you know how I memorized 2 x 11? I have this fake pencil in my brain, and it writes down the multiplication!!
Hugo, 6
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06.30.04 at 04:15 PM |
hahahahahahahahahahahaha. OW my aching side!