TheMommyBlog

him: I didn’t say the pig was UP in the trees, dork. I’m so misunderstood…
me: ahhhh
me: so you were a pig on the ground and a primate in the trees
him: No. When I say “in the trees”, I just mean among the trees, as opposed to in a field or something. Now I’m making less sense. I should have stopped about six beers earlier last night…
me: I should know better than to argue with a pig farmer
me: and I didn’t drink enough
him: ex-pig farmer. I was in a twelve-step program for it…
me: haaaaa
me: you’re up to your tush in them I bet
him: I was in another one for using the word “tush"…
me: I almost said “ass” but you’ve said it detracts from my writing
him: Yeah, I’m terribly judgmental.
me: or justly terrible
him: I’m waiting for my head to clear a little before I put in the last recessed light in the bathroom. Not looking forward to crawling around the attic.
me: not in this weather
me: frost on the ground and everything
him: What are you talking about? It’s freakin’ gorgeous here…
me: gil and Logan are at baseball tryouts and I am waiting for the call to pick Logan up because he is bored
me: oh yeah
me: just looked out the window
me: but it IS cold
him: I’m sitting on the deck with just a sweatshirt on. It’s the warmest I’ve been in ages…
me: no comment
him: Hmmm… maybe I should add sweats, socks, and underwear to that statement…
me: I wasn’t going to ask
him: I have so much to do today, and no ambition to do it…
me: no kidding
me: I have seven loads of laundry laid out
me: I am wearing blue flannel jammie bottoms with ducks and monkeys on them and a pink t-shirt
him: Who puts ducks and monkeys together on clothing?
me: they are having snowball fights
me: oh and there are snowmen too
him: I’m guessing the duck is losing, since he doesn’t have hands…
me: you know? this one is doing well with his opposable wing feathers
me: but the monkey does have an advantage--he’s using the prehensile tail advantage
him: Man, I wish I had one of those. Evolution screwed us when we lost the tail…
me: I have about three or four responses to that…
me: and am laughing too hard to articulate them
him: Then again, men would constantly be in trouble with our tails wagging when a woman walked by…
me: would have one more thing to use to reach for the… when your hands are busy doing…
me: yes but we’d at least have some honest feedback for a change
me: and if it tucked under your crotch we’d know not to bother giving out a phone number
him: No you wouldn’t. Just be glad you don’t generally notice how often guys are turned on…
me: you are going to make the banal IM postfest for the second time
him: Damn. I was afraid of that…
me: what? we wouldn’t have honest feedback??
him: It’s the “When Harry Met Sally” thing. We don’t have to be really interested, it just crosses our mind without real consideration…
me: ha
me: fair enough
me: you know, we do that too
me: and then slap our foreheads, internally
him: Really? I thought evolution made it such that we were the only ones like that..
me: well there has to be SOME receptivity
me: just not from me
him: See? Good to know. We’d be happy to slap your heads… externally…
me: haaaaaaaa
me: there are laws against that
him: We’d just be trying to help…
me: und vee haff vays of retaliating
me: ok just got the call that Logan needs to be picked up at ten
me: so I can’t go wearing ducks and monkeys
me: which means… organ music… shower
him: You might take the pants off first…
me: quick--is your tail wagging?
me: yes, thanks
me: maybe that’s why I haven’t shaved my legs in months
him: Too much information…
me: just reinforcing the NO HITTING ON ME rule
him: And don’t tell me about your pits…
me: they are smooth as a baby’s bottom
me: and smell like lavender
him: By the way, one more thing.
him: I was having a “moment” last night where I was considering getting another dog.
me: really?
me: and?
him: Yeah, but “the morning is wiser than the evening”.
me: good job
him: Anyway, I let the current dog up on the bed.
me: yes you would have a turf war
him: He must be 180 pounds by now, and flopped across the whole thing.
him: He was very happy, until about 1:00am, when he fell off…
me: (another reason you really should live alone)
him: Fortunately, he doesn’t have an ego, so didn’t mind my laughing about it…
me: until he peed on your pillows
me: must have shook the house
him: No, he just walked over to the rug, and went back to sleep…
me: especially YOUR house
me: ok I now have TEN minutes to shower and get out the door!
him: Alright. Talk later. Dog Shit.
me: ass