TheMommyBlog

Thursday, November 20, 2003

This morning, just like every morning, Dylan popped his head around the corner in the hall and said, “I’m all dry this morning! Can I put on some underwear?” And we chirped, as always, “Of course! You’re such a big boy!” And his little head disappeared as he tumbled off to get dressed.

20 minutes later: I’m walking into the bathroom to put on makeup when I step on something very cold, very wet, and very squishy. Shaking my foot like a cat that’s stepped in a puddle, I called out to Gil, “I found Dylan’s underwear, and they’re completely soaked!”

“Oh jeez, what’s his bed like?”

“Probably soaked as well.”

I went in to his room, expecting his pillows to be floating, but insted found dry sheets. And dry pillows. And dry covers. What the hell? Then I inspected more closely, and everything smelled like...fabric softener. How can that be?? Did he crawl out of bed in time, and then not make it 12 feet to the toilet?? I went back and picked up the dripping undies, tentatively sniffed, and....nothing. Humph.

Then I spied the two inches of water still standing in the tub from last night’s bath.

“Dylan, did you throw your undies in the tub this morning? Were you being silly?”

[Sheepishly, from down the hall] “No, Mommy, I dropped them in the toilet. It was an accident. I was trying to go pee, and I just dropped them in.”

I froze, still holding the sopping garment to my face, thinking, now there’s a fitting start to my day.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

I lurve British humor. Thanks, Daisy!

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

It has been a banner week here at the office for inane jargon and astonishingly obtuse phraseology (case in point). Within the past few days, we have found the following in our organizational materials:

A paper that uses the phrase, “anthropogenic perturbations.”

A paper expressing the hope that planned “grantmaking will move the country toward fertility transition.”

And yet another outlining a “plan to invest our limited research and development funds in post-coital methods [of family planning].” (Hmmm, I was concentrating on pre-coital methods.)

But the capper was the opening paragraph of a paper that purported to reflect “our thinking about how to straddle today’s volatility with a combination of flexibility and long-term tenacity.”

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

This morning, Dylan didn’t want to leave my bed to get ready for school. He said that he doesn’t like the kids, or the teachers, or the play-dough, or the art, or the stories, or the playground, or the snacks (now I know he’s lying). He only likes being home with us. I told him I liked being home with him too, dried his tears, and gently led him in to breakfast.

In the kitchen, Logan and Daphne tugged me to the sofa to have their turns snuggling. Logan was really on the verge of tears, with his little face all screwed up and tense. He said, “Mommy, don’t go to work! Don’t go to work!” “Honey, I know it’s hard to say goodbye every day, but you are really lucky that you only have to say goodbye to one parent each morning. You get to have Daddy stay with you! Tell you what: we’ll have a special Mommy and Logan time when I get home. We’ll play together or go run an errand together or just sit and cuddle.”

Then Dylan started. “Mommy, can I go run an errand with you?” “No, Hon, I’m going to work now.” “Well then can I go to work with you?” “No, honey, it’s really boring for little kids at work.” “Then don’t go to work!”

Sigh.

Finally, as we were getting Logan all dressed, he said, “I remember when I was littler and both you and Daddy went to work every day and Grandma stayed with us.” “And so aren’t you glad that Daddy gets to stay with you now that Grandma works in Indiana?” “Yeah. And Mommy? Even though you go to work five days a week, we’re still friends.”

Monday, November 17, 2003

GREAT example set by Critter’s Mom and Buzzstuff. Let’s all try to do one nice thing for a fellow blogger this week!

P.S. Thanks for the note, Kimberly--I fixed the link!