FamilyI called to check on the children tonight and find out who would be going to school and who would be staying home with me tomorrow. Daphne has the day off, the boys have school. Logan has impetigo, and the school has rules against his returning. Everyone has something. I have a sink full of dishes I won’t be touching tonight.
It was a mild weekend with Dad, the usual walk-a-thons, swimming and playing in the pop-up camper parked on the lawn. Dylan was dying to tell me how far he walked for his school. “Mom! I ran around the bases eight times! And I walked too—two miles!!”
“Oh, honey, that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you! Good for you, hanging in there so long.”
“Okay, bye, Mom, here’s Dad.”
“Hi, Min, I meant to tell you—this one’s in trouble today. He took my key and tried to get into the car, and he took Daphne with him.”
“What? He took your keys? And his sister?”
“Yep. No dessert for three days. He knows this was a bad one.”
“I’ll say. Little stinker. Can you put Daphne on for a second? *pause* Hi sweetie! Daddy tells me Dylan took his keys today.”
“Yes, Mama, and I was so sad.”
“You do know that it was wrong to take Daddy’s keys and to go to the car without a parent, don’t you?”
“Yes, Mama, and I was so sad that he did that.”
“Please listen very carefully. If Dylan wants you to go with him to do something like that again, you can say no. In fact, you should not do anything he asks you to do that feels like breaking the rules. Do we have a deal?”
“Yes, Mama. I love you, Mama, I miss you. And you can use my makeup if you want.”
“Thank you, baby. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Good God. Already sneaking out. He will go to school tomorrow and I will take the others somewhere fun, and hopefully something brilliant will occur to me. I am not looking forward to enforcing three nights of no dessert, and the tantrums coming down the pike. I wish I knew how to reach him.
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10.10.05 at 02:13 AM |
OMG, what was he thinking about takin his sis out for supper or something? When my 6 y/o was about 3ish he decided to put my car into gear and drove down our driveway. Scared the crap out of me AND him. He still doesnt like the front seat. Kids are so crazy sometimes!!
10.10.05 at 04:45 AM |
Oh boy, have fun enforcing that. Darn kids.
10.10.05 at 04:53 AM |
How scary! Good thinking telling the little one, she doesn’t have to go if he does this again. Let’s hope he doesn’t though!
10.10.05 at 05:47 AM |
Look on the bright side - it wasn’t YOUR car.
Says the guy that used to always steal his dad’s car for joyrides. I knew mom would kick my ass if I messed up her Buick.
Am I helping any? You can use my makeup if you want.
10.10.05 at 12:12 PM |
Thought about counseling? You are a thoughtful,reasonable parent who has spelled out the rules and doled out the appropriate consequences with no results. So, there’s something going on here. It may be organic-some sort of reaction to sugar or additives in his diet, add, or it may be behavioral and he has figured you 2 out really well. I went through something similar with my daughter, at this age,except it was tantrums whenever she didn’t get her way. This went on for 2 years, despite the fact that I NEVER gave into them. I finally took her to see someone, someone who most likely told her all the tnings I had been telling her, but for some reason they meant something different coming from someone else. She is 14 now, and lovely. I love her AND I like her.
10.10.05 at 08:13 PM |
Yes, I am taking each of them in to talk with someone as a checkin post-divorce, and I think we’ll be working with Dylan for a little while to se what we can do to come to a more aligned behavioral mandate. Logan already went, and he liked her so much that he wants to go again when the others go. That has to be a good sign.
Also, I’ve put the kibosh on sugary treats and dessert as a foregone conclusion. We just have to fill them with protein and veggies and fruit, and less of the crap. If he gets himself a bowl of Lucky Charms, he’ll hand you back the bowl, still mostly full, sans marshmallows. Not what I want to send him to school on. We’re working on it!
10.12.05 at 07:20 PM |
Try “The Way They Learn” and “Every Child Can Succeed” by Cynthia Tobias - two different books, get both or there is an out of print of both in one book called “How Your Child Learns and Succeeds” available on Ebay. I just ordered the latter.
It changed my sister’s outlook on her middle child and he has turned into an amazing young man.