TheMommyBlog

Earlier today, I was chatting with my boyfriend when Mom rang in, and I said I’d call him back. That was about four and a half hours ago. Whoops.

My voice is raw from corralling the kids and my neck and shoulders are killing me from my nose dive into the steering wheel, so I emailed him instead of calling. The best part? It doubles nicely as a post:

I’m so sorry I didn’t get to call you - it was one long march of homework, dinner, baths, hurry up, get dressed to go to school for star gazing night for which Dylan gets a homework pass, get there and it’s too foggy to see anything, so hang around and talk with the teachers and principal while trying to get the kids off the monkey bars in the dark, come home, fold laundry while the kids sing karaoke, then they all have trouble taking turns and finally Daphne loses it because Logan tries to get close to the mike and when she complains his head’s in the way he says, “You don’t have to be able to see - you can’t read” and she flees to her room sobbing, then Gil comes to get Logan because he has to get up at five for hockey practice at six at the Logitech rink in SJ before school, I cannot believe THAT is happening, and then there are all sorts of tears saying goodnight to Daddy, and I can’t get Daphne to go to her bed or mine, Logan is finally out the door with his shorts on his head but not until he’s absolutely sure I’ve noticed, while Dylan is sneaking onto the computer and immediately apologizing when I see him, and I finally get everyone calm, convince Dylan that he is not the worst kid in the world and that it’s not true that I don’t want to be around him, what is he, nuts? and that I really do love him but his behavior makes me nutty, finally everyone is happy and then Dylan marches into my room and announces he’s sleeping there, so Daphne flees to her room again, I tell her, no, go back, it’s your turn tonight, Dylan get in your bed, and Daphne is inconsolable because she “can’t even sleep in her own bed” because I won’t let her, and waaaaaahhh!

And… I’m spent.

Hey, this is a post. I’m going to read in bed. I love you.

With stars like Jessica Alba and Heidi Klum sashaying down the red carpet mere weeks after giving birth, Maggie Mason from Mighty Girl wonders if there are unrealistic expectations about losing pregnancy weight. So, is it the baby… or is it the fries? What do you think? How long did it take for you to lose the baby weight? When should this become a priority? Join in the Momversation by commenting below or in our related forums:

• Strange things people say when you’re pregnant
• How long did it take you to lose the pregnancy weight?

Panelists: Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom, Heather Armstrong of dooce, Maggie Mason of Mighty Girl, and Rebecca Woolf of Girl’s Gone Child.

Because, you know, I realize it happened on the day after Thanksgiving, but we couldn’t get the bigger family group together until Friday.

After dinner but before dessert, I offered to go pick up one of the kids from a birthday party so that everyone could be part of the smash and smush angel cake surprise. What’s that? Well. My mother, the woman who never kept sweets in the house and fed us Familia Swiss Muesli until we were old enough to buy our own damn cereal, planned to have the kids slather an angel food cake with freshly whipped cream, bust up a pile of candy canes with a hammer, and sprinkle the debris all over the cake. What kid in his right mind wouldn’t want to be handed a hammer, candy, and whipped cream and told to get busy?

So I borrowed my ex’s Expedition (just to drive it again—it used to be mine), drove to the friend’s house, got out and stepped in a puddle, couldn’t remember the address, drove back home, picked up the school directory, drove back up the street to the party, got out of the car, stepped in the same puddle, and collected my child.

As I grabbed the “oh shit” handle and hoisting myself up into the SUV, my wet clog went flying off the running board and I fell forward at Mach 3 and, luckily, broke the fall with my neck. On the steering wheel.

“Mom, are you okay?”

“Mmmmfhhm.”

“Where are you? Where did you go?”

“I’m down here, babe, I slipped. Let’s go back to Grandma’s.”

So I was just sitting here watching Armageddon on TV, rubbing my neck to get the muscles to relax a bit, when I felt a DENT in my SKULL.

I’m changing my stage name to Klutzina McSlipsky.

Forbes Magazine recently named the top ten influential celebrity babies. So, Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom asks the panelists, why the obsession with celebrity kids? Why do you think people are curious about celebrities’ children? Are you interested? Should the personal lives of celebrities be fair game for gossip? Join the conversation by leaving a comment below or participating in our related forums:

• Celebrity vs. Person
• Celebrity Adoptions

Panelists: Alice Bradley of Finslippy, Asha Dornfest of Parent Hacks, Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom, and Heather Armstrong of dooce.