TheMommyBlog

Um, Happy Mother’s Day?

So how many spots should I book at Elizabeth Arden for us all next year?

the best thing my husband does to give me “time off” is to take the kids out for the day and leave me alone in the house….sure, it’s nice to go shopping or out with friends or to the bookstore by myself, but i really enjoy having the house to myself, phone turned off, lounging on the couch, eating ice cream, watching crappy reality tv, reading a book, drinking hot chocolate, taking a nap, etc., etc., etc.  brunch with the kids at a crowded restaurant—-not relaxing!

Oh yes…i agree. I was just thinking that yesterday while trying to keep the peace in a queen sized bed with two children (hubby at Work!!!!!!!!!) trying to decided on which movie to watch on the laptop.
I didn’t even get to sleep in! And one of them? Had diarhea!

Oh dear.

It’s time to tell you the truth. Sigh!

Here goes: you don’t get over it. Not for years, anyway. Years, not months. Double digits of them, not single.

You know that saying “whatever doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger” ?  It’s, well, not exactly accurate. The truth is, whatever doesn’t kill you fucks with your body chemistry and sometimes turns you into a weepy mess or a shrieking harpy at the drop of a hat (or collapse of a slide or chat with a demon or what have you).

The upside is that you have no choice but to rely on your friends, and so your friendships grow stronger. You have to focus on what’s important - your kids, your family, your work - and it ensures you’ll never become shallow or mean or ugly or bent (LIKE SOME PEOPLE I COULD MENTION BUT WON’T WHO CALL DSS AT THE DROP OF A HAT). Is that any consolation at all? 

So take your temporary measures, gin and tonics, call a friend, buy a new handbag. I’ve never been truly thankful for adversity, but I’ve learned to appreciate its compensations. Hey, if everything had gone well, you wouldn’t have written a book, right?

Is it coming out soon, by the way?

My husband (God bless him) has always put me up in a hotel over Mother’s Day. When my kids were under 3 I desperately needed that weekend. But this year I didn’t do it. I didn’t want to be away from my kids. But you’re right, Mother’s Day isn’t half as nice with the kids around. Maybe next year I’ll find a happy medium and just spend the day out.

...but there comes a time when there is a shift…it happens as they grow up…make their own way into the world.  And then when Mother’s Day rolls around…and they all show up…to spend time with you and with each other…that’s when you realize how damn good life is…and how damn good it was on those crazy holidays when all you wanted was a little peace and quiet!  Hang in and hang on…life changes quickly!

Last year, two girlfriends and I took a roadtrip to Houston for Mother’s Day.  We stayed in a lovely hotel in the museum district, ate at a fabulous restaurant owned by friends of mine, at which we got rock star service and excellent food and wine, shopped at IKEA for hours, saw a movie, and went to a museum.

It was great, and we would have done it again, only one of them has a nursing infant this time around.  It’s totally on the books once she can travel, though!

Every year for mothers day, my SF would take me out for the day giving my mom the entire house to herself.  I didn’t understand until I was about 20.

Since my divorce my ex has always ended up with the kids on Mother’s day in the weekend rotation.  The judge ruled that on our respective days we were entitled to have the children if our holiday fell on a day when we weren’t scheduled to have the cherubs.  I have never asked for them on Mothers Day because I didn’t want to disrupt their schedule.  This year I just happened to have them on Mother’s Day and let me tell you if I NEVER have them again on that holiday it will be just fine with me.

I love my children, I really do.  But the previous 3 Mother’s Days were spent in solitude doing ME things that I enjoyed.  Next year I’m insisting that someone else mother the kids because I’ll Elizabeth Arden doesn’t offer daycare.

I finally got lucky this year. My husband ‘got it’ and gave me the day to shop, ALONE!

Somehow “All I wan’t for Mother’s day is a day without whining, crying, or fighting” doesn’t seem to sink in.  By noon (I was allowed to sleep in - the most appreciated gift I received), they were at each other’s throats and it took all I had not to throw my own tantrum, throwing myself on the floor, crying that nobody loves me because I didn’t get what I wanted.