TheMommyBlog

Sunday, March 14, 2010 Bad Mood Dude, Family

My son came to me after a long weekend of open house events here. For two days, we’ve wandered from our house to dad’s house to Guy’s house, to Grandma’s and to the baseball field to kill time while people scrutinize our house for imperfections that might leverage a lowball offer. I hate these weekends, because it’s necessary remove any sort of evidence that people live here. Better to look like a Hilton when selling a home, right? *eyeroll*

“Mom, have you seen my DS? I left it on my dresser.”

“Nope, I think I’d remember that.”

“You sure you didn’t put it somewhere? And did you ever find that game I was asking about the other day?”

“Hon, have you ever looked at your bedroom today and compared it to your bedroom of the last eleven years? There were PILES OF CRAP EVERYWHERE that had to be sorted and moved so that we could make it look nice. When we move and unpack boxes, you’ll get to look for it, but I’m not opening boxes in the POD to search for something that MIGHT be in a box out there. When did you last see it, anyway?”

“Two years ago.”

Good Christ Jemimy on a syrup bottle.

“Two years?”

“Yeah, maybe we should think about buying a new one.”

“Maybe not.”

“Why?’

“Look, we have to clean up this place for two days a week. We need to put the important things—”

“But do you think the Realtors moved it?”

My voice went up a notch. “Babe, you’re going to have to learn how to let me finish a sentence if you want to hear an answer.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“I was just trying to say that there is no way the Realtors moved it, and that I wouldn’t have just put it somewhere else, I would have handed it to you and asked you to put it in your backpack or something. And if you’d waited for me to finish, you’d have heard that sooner.”

He looked ready to cry.

“Hon, look at me. Why are you so upset?”

“Because I’m afraid of what might happen.”

“What? Are you afraid of me?”

He didn’t answer.

“Have I ever hurt you or given you a reason to be afraid of me?”

“No.”

“Then I don’t understand. What have I done to you?”

“It’s not what you’ve done to me, it’s what you’ve done to yourself.”

My heart stopped.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re just so stressed out lately I’m afraid of what might happen if things don’t get better soon. I’m afraid you’ll explode or something.”

Oh. My. God.

“Baby, I’m not going to explode. I lose my temper sometimes, and I’m sorry about that. I’m not going to fall apart, I promise. We’re all safe. We are going to be just fine, okay, baby?”

“Okay.”

“Oh, hon, I’m so sorry you’re thinking things like that. It’s too much for a child, you’re not supposed to worry about taking care of your parents. I’m sorry. We’re fine. Okay?”

“Okay.”

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Man. I’m sorry.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010 QOTD

“Mom, where did you put all the stuff piled in our room when you packed? I need to find something. It’s small and red.”

Monday, March 08, 2010 Momversation

I added what was cut from my footage in a comment:

I know people who cannot fly coach because they have long legs. I can barely fly coach because my knees are always up against the seat in front of me and get crunched when the guy in front drops his seat into my lap. If I could afford business or first class, I would buy tickets there, but as I can’t, I know I have to keep my knees bent and my feet up on something to make room.

I agree with SilverXeno on the standards issue. What didn’t make it into the video was that I believe this issue should not have to come up on the plane, at the gate, or even after the ticket is purchased. There should be guidelines clearly stating seat dimensions on the web site or wherever the purchase is made. If there’s any doubt about being able to sit comfortably in a single seat, then you can have the option of purchasing an upgrade. I think buying two tickets feels… wrong, though I can see the business end of the argument. If you need two chairs, pay for two chairs.

However, there are a few smart business moves/compromises that would attract and retain the “of size” customer base.

1. People could be offered the two seats at the price of a seat-and-a-half. It’s psychologically friendlier, and the difference would be more than covered by the increase/retention in business.

2. If there is an empty seat on a flight, invite passengers to rearrange seating so that the passenger can have two adjacent seats so that they don’t have to be thrown off. If a seat is going unsold, give it up rather than humiliate that passenger in public and destroy travel plans.

3. I’d go so far as to suggest that the airline, when faced with an inadvertent situation like this, offer a $200 certificate to anyone willing to be bumped. That’s just enough money to make it worth someone’s while, and not so much that the airline will miss it. Again, it’s less than the lost business that would result from the negative experience and subsequent treatment in the press.

But that’s just my opinion.

Saturday, March 06, 2010 QOTD

Yesterday, my middle schooler told me he’d watched a South Park Episode called “Eat, Pray, Queef.” At Dad’s house. In my defense.

I kept my hands at ten and two on the wheel and asked, “Do need me to define any of that for you?”

“Um, no.”

“That’s fantastic.”

“Mom, are you okay?”

“We must never speak of this again.”

“Maybe that’s best.”