TheMommyBlog

Tuesday, February 22, 2005 Me, Me, Me

Well, I will be moving office again, not next week, but the week after. I hope this time it’s for more than three months. Anyway, I was digging through some boxes that I haven’t unpacked from the last move, and I found two postcards I have had for years and will almost surely lose them soon if I don’t scan them and put them up.

Keep in mind that these are old. This one I picked up in a store in the early 90’s because it is SO TRUE.

The other was given to me as a joke after our second child was born and I was just returning from maternity leave and six harrowing months of caring for my critically ill child. Needless to say, I was dead set against having another. Needless to say, I was pregnant again three months later.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005 Family

...listening to the sounds of rat struggling in an ineffectively-sprung trap in the attic, or reading this and this, courtesy of my lovely mother, who knows how to get my attention and sprain my eyes with the rolling.

hi from mom ... this is the first of two articles on two separate topics (this one on the president of harvard’s infuriating take on women (women’s roles beyond Barbie and their limited ability to make forays into science) and the other (coming next) on the mothering issue we emailed about before. Just want to raise your ire against the treatment of women and mothers (ok ok they’re not necessarily different species).

*pulls pillow over head and goes back to sleep*

Monday, February 21, 2005 Family

Happy birthday, baby.

Sunday, February 20, 2005 Family

Will the life lessons never end? You WILL raise children who act like you. I have a house full of monkeys, comedians, and smartasses. At least they’re bright and have timing so I can let them slide, but man, have I been getting it in the eye lately.

Logan: “Mom, I really want to read my new book tonight before bed. Can you help me find it?”
Me: (Buried to my chin in bed reading to the other two children) “I have a better idea: why don’t you go look where you had it last and see if you can’t find it yourself. Try the counters in the kitchen and the toy shelves in the living room.”
Logan: “No fair. I have to look and look and do all the hard work and you just get to sit there having all the fun.”
Me: “Nooo, ‘fun’ would be you putting yourselves to bed each night. Go look. I will help you after you’ve looked a little youself.”
Logan: (two seconds later) ” I can’t fiiiiiind it. It’s loooost.”
Me: “Alright, buddy. I’m coming. I bet I find that book in two minutes.”
Logan: “Oh yeah? The only thing you find quickly is ANTS.”
Me: “Oh, now that’s just mean. You are so dead.”
Logan: “You think you can find it in two minutes? I don’t.”
Me: (Famous last words) “Try me.”

That kid followed me around the house, counting to 120 as I checked the counters, the chairs, under the tables, the beds, the dressers, the hall, everywhere. As he got into the second minute, I started to get pissed. He was going to be right, the little wisenheimer.

Logan: “Ha! I told you you’d never find it. You lose.”
Me: “*I* lose? You don’t get to read it tonight. That sounds like *you* lose. Also? A teeny tiny win for me!”
(glaring at each other)
Logan: “Fine, I’ll find another book.”
Me: As he climbed into bed, I triumphantly plucked the missing book from the jumble on his dresser. “HA! Told you I’d find it!”
Logan: “Good! And now you can read it.”
Me: “Doh!”

Sunday, February 20, 2005 Family

If there is a more adventursome, meticulous way of doing something, my son will choose it. While his siblings employ the pinch-and-pull method of opening snack bags, Logan insists on the more surgical method of using scissors. They can be cuticle scissors, they can be moose shears; he doesn’t discriminate. I try not to watch.

Logan: “Whoa, I almost cut my Superman suit with these scissors.”
Me: “What are you doing?
Logan: “I’m opening these crackers.”
Me: “Well, here’s a tip: never cut towards your body; always cut away from your body.”
Logan: “Cut away…”
Me: “Yes, cut away from yourself in the future.”
Logan: “In the future?”
Me: “Yes, silly, too late for now, just do it in the future.”
Logan: “Oh you mean you want me to just go and buy a time machine and see what happens?”

P.S. We did not tell the children yet. We were advised to wait until the start of a mundane weekend, and although this was a perfect, holiday weekend, Gil’s folks are here and so are mine and that’s just too much. So, we plan to do it next weekend, and then wait a week before anything actually goes into effect. Also? Best not to ruin one of the children’s birthday. Just a hunch. Thanks for asking—really—your emails are keeping me afloat!