TheMommyBlog
FamilyIf there is a more adventursome, meticulous way of doing something, my son will choose it. While his siblings employ the pinch-and-pull method of opening snack bags, Logan insists on the more surgical method of using scissors. They can be cuticle scissors, they can be moose shears; he doesn’t discriminate. I try not to watch.
Logan: “Whoa, I almost cut my Superman suit with these scissors.”
Me: “What are you doing?
Logan: “I’m opening these crackers.”
Me: “Well, here’s a tip: never cut towards your body; always cut away from your body.”
Logan: “Cut away…”
Me: “Yes, cut away from yourself in the future.”
Logan: “In the future?”
Me: “Yes, silly, too late for now, just do it in the future.”
Logan: “Oh you mean you want me to just go and buy a time machine and see what happens?”
P.S. We did not tell the children yet. We were advised to wait until the start of a mundane weekend, and although this was a perfect, holiday weekend, Gil’s folks are here and so are mine and that’s just too much. So, we plan to do it next weekend, and then wait a week before anything actually goes into effect. Also? Best not to ruin one of the children’s birthday. Just a hunch. Thanks for asking—really—your emails are keeping me afloat!
FamilyWell, last night was a smashing success. It was an orgy of Alaskan King Crab legs, Dungeness crabs, Spinach salad with cranberries and candied walnuts, crusty bread, crusty hostess who smoothed out as the evening progressed, and bottle upon bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.
And then, and THEN, not one but TWO cakes; one the usual chocolate gut bomb from Icing on the Cake, and our family tradition, the ever-delicious yet Dr. Seuss-like carrot cake.
I made an album for the curious family and it’s up in the gallery. In the meantime, would you just look at the punim on my little girl??
Time: 9:54 AM
- Number of minutes spent alone in bed: 0
- Number of fights broken up:
2324. Have to type fast around here. - Number of misunderstandings:345y854yu82u543203 ( yes I know there are letters in there. It’s a formula.)
- Number of loads of laundry done: 3
- Number of socks put away:
122 unpaired67 pairs - Number of loads lining the hall still to go: 5
- Number of Birthday parties today: 2
- Number at The Jungle: 1
- Number hosted at my house for nine: 1
- Shopping done for said dinner party: None. Shut up.
- Number of cups of coffee consumed: 0
- Coffee jars already moved to ex’s house: 1
- Number of crying children at elbow: 1
- Number of minutes before we leave to pick up gift and child to go to first party: 40
- Showered? No
- Pissed? You bet.
- Stressed? Like a German consonant.
Fun with IMSometimes, what you need to hear comes along at exactly the right time…
FamilyLogan: (sitting on my lap while I clip his nails in the bathroom) “Mom, where’s Dad?”
Me: “I can hear him in the other bathroom.”
Logan: “No, those are rats. They can be that loud. Louder, even.”
Logan: “Mom, is this math problem right?”
Me: “Hang on.”
Magnadoodle: “9 + 12 - 3 + 6 + 5 - 7 = 22”
Me: “Wow, great job.”
Logan: “How about this one?” (scribbles)
Magnadoodle: “50 x 4 + 5 + 7 = 212”
Me: (staring)
Logan: (giggling)
Me: “Do you do these at school?”
Logan: “No, I just figured it out. I’m gonna save this til Monday and my teacher will be so surprised.”
Me: (considering the nature of a Magadoodle and the presence of other children) “Or, you could just do another one for her!”
Dylan: “Mommy, I love you so much, I love you more than anyone else in the whole world, I love you about a hundred million and five.”
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