The Mommy Blog™ | Adventures from the Wonderbelly of Motherhood™

Sunday, January 18, 2004

When I agreed to become an author at DotMoms, I promised myself that I would keep posts separate and unique, but today, Marcia posted about how others sometimes view or describe new mothers, and it sent me off on a tear.

Sunday, January 18, 2004

Internet

That was a disclaimer; I’m surrounded by lefties--husband, mom, firstborn, indispensable officemate...so I am acutely aware of such phases as the “left-handed compliment” or even the origin of such words as ”sinister." My own grandmother was left-handed, but her educators congratulated themselves on successfully retraining her by tying her left hand behind her back until she could write properly with her right.

Having said that, I recently read a post and series of comments that made me wonder what in the world people are thinking when they deliver one of these “compliments.” (Side note--SJ is the source of that exquisitely apt declaration, “Overshare!” I’ve used it so much since seeing it there that I may as well source it.)

Readers jumped right in with their own examples of unbelievably clumsy and dubious compliments from well-meaning (cough) admirers. It certainly got me chuckling over some very ambitious flattery gone awry, of which I’ve either been the unfortunate recipient, or have heard second-hand from stunned and despairing friends.

What’s the most dubious, the most stunning, the most unrepeatable (excepting of course in this forum--you’re safe with me), the most thought-provoking, loaded compliment you’ve ever received? I don’t mean, “Wow! You look really nice today...what’s different?” I mean the kind of comment that has you wondering for weeks afterward what the hell kind of rich worldview was hiding behind that little corker?

Saturday, January 17, 2004

QOTD

Sucks to be me today. I’ve been spending too much time away from the kids, and now I don’t know how to behave around them; luckily, they’re generous with their opinions and analyses.

Just now, the boys were battling over who got the last of the Goldfish in the container (the answer: me. I just swept up all the resultant crumbs and residue). I separated them, gave the younger back his bowl, and sent the elder to his room. When he came back out, I said that he was welcome to get himself a bowl of Goldfish if he still wanted them, and go watch Nemo with his brother and sister.

Logan: “Mommy, how come you always want me to do everything myself?”

Me: “Well, Logan, most of the time you want to do things yourself.”

Logan: ”I know why you want me to do all this stuff by myself. In a few days, you’ll have me cooking all by myself.”

Me: [ponders feasibility of scenario, makes note to self]

A few minutes later...as the sweeping took me beyond the kitchen, into the foyer and then across the living room:

Logan: “Mom, I don’t know why you’re so grumpy.”

Me: “Can you try to guess why? Didn’t I ask you nicely three times to stop fighting before I sounded grumpy?”

Logan: “But I think you’re grumpier than almost every other mom.”

Me: “........”

Logan: “But, Mom, don’t worry, because we still love you anyway.”

Saturday, January 17, 2004

QOTD

Still chuckling over this one:

Me: [arms in the air, making victory sign] “I swear, I could sell shit to a dung beetle!”

Person Agreeing with Me: “I think you probably could sell shit to a dung beetle, assuming of course that dung beetles operated a system of currency that was acceptable to you.”

Saturday, January 17, 2004

This morning, I witnessed something so amazing, so wished-for, so touchingly beautiful that it brought a lump to my throat and a hitch to my chest: my two youngest children, 3 and almost 2, were actually fighting over the toilet.

[blows nose into hankie and goes to phone newpapers]

TheMommyBlog