TheMommyBlog

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Someone sent me this email from a new mom who was corrected for breastfeeding her child on Southwest Airlines, by the flight attendant:

hey ladies, just wanted to let you know about an experience i had on southwest airlines and to see if any of you have had similar events.  i was discreetly breastfeeding my baby on takeoff when the flight attendant came over with a blanket and asked me to “cover up.” i asked her why and she told me i was being “offensive” to the 5 year old boy across the aisle.  there was a boy across the aisle and back a bit, but i doubt he could even see me as i was seated in the middle aisle and there was a large man on the aisle seated next to me.  furthermore, i doubt that he or any child would be “offended” by breastfeeding.  i don’t know if his mother called over the attendant or if the attendant took it upon herself.  she asked me, “well dont you think it’s offensive?” i said “no!” and refused to take the blanket.  i regret not getting her full name, but did write a letter to SWA requesting their policy on breastfeeding and what, if any, education is provided to flight attendants regarding breastfeeding children on flights.  i also told them i would never use their airline again.  i’m curious to see if any of you have had any similar experiences on an airline and how you’ve handled it.  of course, there are many things i wish i had said to this woman, most of which shall go nameless here! thanks for listening.

You know, there really only needs to be one item on the list of reasons why it is ALWAYS acceptable to nurse a child on a airplane:

It keeps their ears pressurized!! Hello!!

Little babies can’t swallow or do anything else to pressurize their own ears, and that is why so many moms time feedings (or bottles or binkies) for takeoff and landing--it’s the best advice I ever had for travelling: “Nurse up and nurse down.” It seems like a simple choice between discomfiting a prude with the thought of a glimpse of breast or annoying an entire plane with ear-splitting shrieks.

Idiots. Oh. That reminds me: once, while travelling with a three-month old (must have been my first, since we were alone), a young woman in my row (Not even next to me! There was a seat between us!!) looked around the airplane and said, “There might be another seat for you where you can be alone. I’m sure they will help you move.” I looked at the baby, the diaper bag, the blankets, my headphones, my books, the toys, and the small concession stand I had made of my purse, and replied, “I don’t mind sitting with you. But thanks.” Can you believe it? I hadn’t even had a chance to do to her what I did to a businessman sitting right next to me on the previous flight ( I sprayed his business suit with milk when the baby pulled away suddenly to look around).

Bitch. Oh. That reminds me: just kidding. Just wanted to see if you thought I would start talking about you. Carry on.

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Today we attended the big annual fundraiser for our son’s school. The Walkathon. The idea is to get people to sponsor your child to walk laps around the track, and the more he walks, the more money he raises for the school. It’s a great concept. Unfortunately, they’ve never met our son. Fully one week before the event, he began cheerfully reminding us that he wasn’t going to walk laps. Each time the subject came up, he’d pop in like some radio announcer and remind us that he wasn’t walking. No sir.

This morning, as we were fueling up with omlettes in preparation for the big event, he said, “Mom. There’s something I’m not going to do today, and it starts with “L.”

“Laugh?"
“No.”
“Leak?”
“No.”
“Lick?”
“No.”
“OK, help me out here.”
“LAPS.”

Good thing we asked for flat-rate donations.

So we get in to the car....wait, that doesn’t begin to describe what happened. I announced to the children our imminent departure, then reminded sternly, then brought out clothes for each child, then tried to put them on myself, was roundly rebuffed, then acceeded to entreaties to please to let them dress themselves, then came back later to discover them in underwear again, then started dressing them in earnest, wrestling them into their socks and shoes ("Nooooo! I want white socks!” “Waaaiit!! Why do I hafta be dressed?” “"You ruined it! I want to put on my socks, and then my shoes, then my shirt, and then my shorts!”

Thirty minutes later, after handing each child a rope of licorice as a bribe to leave the house (hell, it was noon somewhere), we made our way to the curb only to realize that Daddy was still at the store with the car. Not wanting to risk a reversion to nudity by re-entering the house, we decided to wait on the sidewalk. Key point here: it’s a sideWALK. Or, in the 20-month-old’s case, a sideRUN. I spent twenty minutes trying to keep them all in sight--one running towards one end of the block, and the other, inevitably, running towards the other (no idea, really where the third was all this time). I went with the youngest and begged the oldest to freeze (hah), and carried a screaming, wriggling, thrashing marlin of a toddler 100 yards back to the house, just as my husband pulled up and asked if everyone was excited to go! Sure! Piece of cake!

Short story: no one walked more than a single lap. Saying that the 3-year-old walked that full lap is sort of like saying that the Pony Express succeeded because the riders had such endurance (he rode on Daddy’s shoulders). Ten minutes later, they were all at the playground, drinking 7-Up and talking about how tired they were.

We did manage to accomplish something, though: third, second, and first place in the Really Bad Parents Derby.

P.S. That scattering-to-both-ends-of-the-block thing happened again on the way to the car. Here are the boys at one end, and the baby at the other end. I couldn’t be of use to anyone so I just stood there, helplessly snapping photos. Can’t tell what she’s doing? Here’s a closeup. She’s trying to shove her hat into her pants. She was so angelic at the beginning, but by the time we left, it looked like she’d been drinking Mad Dog instead of 7-Up, the way she was stripping out of constricting clothes and staggering around.

Friday, October 17, 2003

I fell in love today. He’s a little on the short side, but his eyes are so full of feeling that it makes him seem 6 feet tall (long). Here he is--free to a good home.

(Daisy, you’ve outdone yourself.)

Thursday, October 16, 2003

OK, this is total bullshit:

I have issues with...

failure chaos domination murder disease

Take Word Association Test

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Thanks to Dee for the Personality test link. It turns out I have one.

ENTJ - “Field Marshall”. The basic driving force and need is to lead. Tend to seek a position of responsibility and enjoys being an executive. 1.8% of total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||| 82% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||| 66% Type 3 Ambition |||||||||||||||| 66% Type 4 Sensitivity |||||||||| 34% Type 5 Detachment |||||||||| 38% Type 6 Anxiety |||||| 26% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||| 46% Type 8 Hostility |||||||||||||||| 62% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 62% Your Conscious-Surface type is 1w2 Your Unconscious-Overall type is 1w2

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