TheMommyBlog

Friday, October 31, 2008 Family

The kids had their Halloween parade just now, and I think that’s about all I need to experience for Halloween. It’s going to be a looong night.

Logan’s a ball player with little sense of trajectory, Dylan is Mario (I made him that hat and a question cube - I’m now his favorite person in the universe) and Daphne is - you will not believe this - a snow princess.

Me? I’m tired.

Friday, October 31, 2008 Our Holiday Curse, Family

I’m heading over to my ex’s to help the kids get ready for school and do the school run. Then I’ll meet him at the vets for Molly’s bone biopsy. Suspected osteosarcoma, cancer in three out of four limbs, but can’t know for sure until Monday. We’ve had her fifteen years.

Thursday, October 30, 2008 Me, Me, Me, Bad Mood Dude, Family

Hi there, buddy. Long time.

Hey, I wonder if you wouldn’t mind doing us a favor? Could you not coincide with the first day of rainy season every freaking year? I don’t know what kind of deal you made with Old Man Weather, but it’s not winning either of you any popularity contests down here. Seriously, it’s bumming me out to put raincoats over my kids’ costumes and huddle under an umbrella while they splash through puddles going from house to house to house.

Not to mention the small lake that collects in the foyer from opening the door a frazillion times for kids who shake their dripping bags at you and hold them there, waiting to see if you might throw in an extra Snickers.

Also? It’s cold. I know it’s not as bad as Chicago—I remember all too well the chill and the roving gangs of egg-and-shaving-cream-wielding punks. We knew the snow was coming, but somehow it was easier to trick or treat in snow, you know? It didn’t soak through and stain your underwear Superman red, and actually looked kinda cool in the streetlights. Besides, in a city like that, you always had the option of doing all your trick or treating in a high rise. Yep, that was pure Halloween gold. My friend lived in a thirty-floor building, and we’d work that elevator like a barn animal until we couldn’t haul our bags around any more. We never once ran out of floors.

So, dude, I’m looking out that window and see you’re warming up, sending those first few sprinkles to get us ready. Do us a solid and don’t ruin the children’s Halloween parades tomorrow, mmkay? All that does is drench the costumes and make getting dressed that evening harder than putting a wetsuit on a cranky octopus. People don’t even like cold, wet swimsuits, not to mention treasured costumes with cheap accessories falling off and dye running down their legs.

Looking forward to tomorrow, however it shakes out. Don’t get me wrong, man, we love the way you lay down your thing and we look forward to you every year, but for once, you know, once in a while, we don’t want to end up with six pair of soaking wet shoes lined up in the hall.

Thanks, bud, keep it real,

The Roberts Family

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 Bad Mood Dude, Family, Politics

1. Putting eyeliner on an angry rhino in a phone booth.
2. Being the love toy of a Greek Army Battalion.
3. With the election in sight just a week away, spending hours helping your child write a biography on one of the candidates. On your computer.