TheMommyBlog

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Via tj, since I never did the movie one, and I actually surprised myself on this one!

The 50 States (visited = bold. lived in = italics. currently live in = bold and italics.)

Wednesday, January 28, 2004 Weblogs

Top 10 reasons you really shouldn’t check search engine refferrals:

10.  Mindy

9. Mindy

8. The MinDy and Mindy

7. Mindy

6. Digital Mindy

5. Mindy (the “best,” no less) and Mindy and especially Mindy

4. Mindy

3. Mindy (Mindy was named for “Mindy Is Not Dylan Yet”)

2. Mindy and Mindy and Mindy and Mindy

And the #1 reason you really shouldn’t check search engine refferrals:

1. MINDY: “Uniformly round/oval; large; good uniform shape and medium deep eyes; smooth white skin and cream white flesh.”

Tuesday, January 27, 2004 Humor

You guys are cracking me up! Do you have any idea how many times Google.be has showed up in my referrals today?? Stop it! You just want to see if you can still buy that French blouse, don’t you? Or maybe you want to learn how to snipe like U.S. Ranger. Or perhaps you just have a burning need to see exactly how Claudia Does Bradford. [sparks whole new stampede to aforementioned search]

Well, let me give you something else to fixate on: Mad Cow. (From my stepdad, no less. MOFLMAO.)

Warning: this is not work-safe if you are inclined to have sound…

Tuesday, January 27, 2004 Weblogs

Have I really already mentioned brimstone once today? [scrolls down, checks, notes that midnight has passed since then and sighs with relief]

I was just wandering through referrers, and noticed that someone visited from a search on Google Belgium (I am not implying it’s anyone we know!). Curiously, the search string was “loooking blouse.” There are a few interesting things about this:

1. There is an extra “o” in “looking.” Not fatal; in fact, it adds a certain intensity. I picture some very earnest-looking Belgian hunkered over the keyboard as he slips in that extra vowel.

2. Despite the spelling error, Google (how is that pronounced in Dutch?) returned seven pages of references, representing about 70 sites that also mispelled “looking.”

3. Most of the sites were porn-y, not surprisingly, although one guy was just selling his sports cards collection and also happened to be unloading a blouse from Paris for $1.29. Wow, and another site linked to the US Army Scout/Sniper Training Manual, and also to the UK Sniper Website. Access to this last was “forbidden,” not surprisingly.

4. I continued on through all seven pages, fascinated by the variety and number of sites on the internet referencing both “blouse” and “loooking,” really curious to see where my site ranked. I arrived at the bottom of the last page, and… nothing. I wasn’t there. I started to feel a little funny, and jumped to the first page again.

5. You guessed it. Try it out. Go to the link, type in loooking blouse, and hit “Zoeken.” Or, even better, go to Google Belgie, paste it in, and hit “Ik doe een gok.” Whammo.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004 QOTD

From dreamland, no less. Woke up thinking this:

“Either our house is too small, or the people are too real.”

Lest you think that I wasn’t also thinking about some really bizarre stuff, I had this terrfying dream about alligators (a recurring scary theme and a specialty of mine); about being chased by them, and finding them in unusual places. For instance, climbing up to the rafters to get out of the reach of one on the ground, and seeing several more lying quietly along the length of a beam not three feet away.

Anyway, at some point, I was inexplicably helping someone to show my son how to hold one properly, and he was afraid to touch the scales. The Alligator Handler Who Had No Face and No Name kept saying, “Maybe he’s afraid the scales are so sharp they’ll cut him.” And I remember thinking, “True, but maybe it’s because you’re asking him to touch a huge fucking alligator.”